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problems with teenage son

Posted by
(gw:seeker-returns) on
Fri, Jul 28, 06 at 23:24

I'm a widowed dad. My teenage son got kicked out of high school (Grade 11) due to lack of attendance, drug abuse. Got him enrolled in substance abuse programs, but to no avail. Got him enrolled in Life Skills courses, to no avail. Got him enrolled in a "special" school that deals with such problem kids - to no avail. Now he's become worse. He goes out all night (leaves the house before I get in from work)and crawls in at around 3.30-4.00 in the morning.He then starts cooking, the dog begins barking, I wake up and can't back to sleep. Can't reason or communicate with him. Does anybody have any suggestions? He's 16, so I have absolutely no idea how this is going to work out. Will a light bulb suddenly come on and he sees the light? Or will he be the cause of my early death? Help!

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: problems with teenage son

Can you get him into any other substance abuse programs, he is still a minor. Something where he is committed for a period of time? Maybe your school (even if he is kicked out), or the county or a Youth Service bereau can help you find something? I can only offer suggestions as we were lucky and the one friend who went through it, her son died in a snowmobile accident one week after being let out of rehab at this age, and I do not wish that on anyone, our one consoluation with her son is he died sober!


RE: problems with teenage son

I'm so sorry that you're having such issues with your son and needing to deal with them alone. For sure - get help from your community. It sounds like he needs to be evaluated for residential placement somewhere for drug rehab. I don't know when your wife died, but it is likely that grief issues are making this worse. You need some help with this. Didn't the schools refer you anywhere? Do you go to church anywhere where you can get some support? Is there services through your place of employment? This is NOT going to get better on it's own, he and you need services and I know this will be challenging and met with resistance. But you can't stand back and do nothing. He is throwing his life away with risky behaviors and not getting an education. Can any family members help? Can he spend a couple weeks with a family member to give you a respite and help you formulate a plan? He just sounds to me like he feels like he doesn't fit in anywhere and he is just checking out. He could also have some learning disablilities - he may just learn differently than others and need creative teachers to help him. Talk to him and help him find a starting point for his life plan. If he were my son, I would be making an appointment with a therapist for help. Even if I had to go alone. Good luck. Let us know what happens.

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