I asked my father when kids finally remember the rules, some respect for the property. He said "When they pay rent." Then I asked what he thought was reasonable rent for an 8 y/o.

My boys are 5, 10, 14. Then there's the friends who show up. It is normal for me to have 9-10 kids in my yard (4 are mine). They play in the yard and cul-de-sac, too, then hang out in my garage playing ping pong. I leave a jug of water or cool-aid and paper cups. I'm still waiting for them to find the trash can reliably. You know when they find the trash can? When I'm out of paper cups and give them washable plastic tumblers, then they throw away my tumblers! Ugh!!

I'm constantly asking "Are you new here!?" because they "forget" basic rules like you mentioned. We do not have a house elf!

I get frustrated, too. But I try to remember what it was to be a kid. I definitely remember my mom telling me to stop doing something, and I'd have to do it one more time before I actually stopped the annoying behavior. I can hear her voice from the past when I ask my kids, "What were you thinking?!" I grew up responsible and polite, so I guess there is still hope for my kids, too. ;o)

But seriously, when they do cross the line I ground them to the house and from all things electronic. I've mentioned this before, but I really like it: The 10 and 14 y/o, I make them sit down with the dictionary to look up a word of my choosing, write the definition and a paragraph on how it applies to them. Like, oh, "insubordinate" for not following through with a chore I gave them. They hate doing it, but it sobers them up real quick when they got out of line. And once DS#1 came home from school all excited b/c he took the standardized test that day and although he'd never heard "condescending" in school, he knew he had the right answer from the day he had to look it up after talking rudely to younger siblings.

Oh, and I can assure you, it's not just boys. DD is no better. She even gets as dirty and smelly as her brothers.

Stephanie..I love your word time out activity. Thats fantastic that they actually learn whilst being disciplined. You are a good mum !

Proserpina, perhaps you could restrict all the play to outside, don't even let them play active games in the house. I know its hard to do this all the time, at least they can do it when the friends are over.

When mine where little, I used to go in-sane when they would play with the doors. One on one side and one on the other, both pushing. I used to cringe, thinking of the fingers being chopped off and lying on the floor.

I think you need a loud voice and a good strong cup of tea to get you through.

My house is quiet now, children older.

I really think (I know its hard), you should enjoy it whilst they are young. I know its bedlam, but treasure the moments, and don't worry so much about the policing.

POPI

Like Popi...I miss the the noise and Bedlum...sort of. Okay not the mess. Not the Popsickle sticks all over the yard, but seeing one in the yard from the GD makes me remember all the laughter I'd hear when the kids would be playing and having fun. When having fun, who has time to remember to run to the garbage can. And if your house is the house to have fun at...what more can you ask. Yours will be the house the teenagers hang around because it's "fun". (Yes teens can be more respectful...sometimes not much, but they can be).

I too was a broken record. I miss it sometimes. And I can't believe I just wrote that!

Vickey-MN

Love your 'dictionary' suggestion Stephanie! My poor younger son will hate it though... (evil smirk)

What about charging for garbage collection and toy pickup services? Have a 'family fun budget' jar that gets either enriched or depleted by picking up toys and trash. You do it? Money comes out of the jar. They do it? Money goes into the jar. Spend the proceeds on a movie or new toy so it's fun for everyone.

I like your suggestion, sweeby, about a family fun jar. But I also think stephanie's suggestion is awesome as well. I get sick of repeating myself too! It wears thin always saying:

Put the toilet seat down.
Wipe the jelly (crumbs, etc.) off the counter.
Turn the light off (or TV).
Rinse your toothpaste spit out of sink.
Check the chore chart.
Put the bathmat back.
Close the door when you go out.
Get the garbage cans (after child has rode his bike right past them and pretended they weren't there).
Aim for the garbage can when you throw something away and if you miss, pick it up instead of leaving it for me to do.

I think y'all get my point. I actually put signs up all over the place reminding the child what needs to be done. I leave notes everywhere with direct instructions so there's no question as to what is to be accomplished on any given day. Nothing seems to sink in. Cell phone and Xbox has been taken away.

It's funny the things they *can* remember the first time you tell them.

I "bet" my kids weeks ago on the ending to Harry Potter 7. I lost, sort of, I wasn't quite right on this one point (don't want to ruin it). Today, they reminded me they do not have to unload the dishwasher for a week b/c of that bet. Think I can claim I don't remember?

I like the quote on the top of this forum :

" The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. - King Edward VIII "

Is this true, do you think ? LOL

POPI

I was grateful when my son's friends' bathroom aim became accurate rather than approximate. Sigh.

Thank you so much for the giggles. I love the suggestions, I am definitely going to try both of them... Laurels4You, the list you wrote could just have been an add on to my list!

I suppose this is just part of parenthood: we give the kids several rules and then hope that at least half of them stick when they grow up!

One thing though is true, all the kids love to gather at our house. I am generally cooking a minimum of one extra bowl of pasta or making one extra sandwich for one of the neighbor's kids... Life, in its chaos, is wonderful. Yet again, y'all are reminding me to take deep breaths and go along for the ride (a ride I am so thankful for!).