16 year old daughter and boyfriend
samwithnoclue
14 years ago
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tracystoke
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agoasolo
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
23 year old, going thru a divorce wants to date my 16 yr old
Comments (26)I once knew a popular girl in high school (16) who also dated a 23 year old. Then one day she told us she was getting married and Friday was her last day of school(at 16)! We never saw her again. As we graduated and moved on with our lives, every once in a while I would wonder why she was in such a hurry to grow up and how she missed so, so much. Those years were so much fun, especially into the 20's... and I imagined her at 16 living the life of everyone else's mom...doing laundry, cleaning the house, etc. I don't not know if she had kids right away of not. I imagine they lived in some dumpy place because they were too young to have any money, and since she never graduated, I do not imagine that there were any great job offers coming her way. I also imagine at some point she looked back and was furious at her parents for letting her do this, and not stopping her. She had so much going for her, and settled for so little....See MoreTeenaged daughter and boyfriend. Long.
Comments (2)Difficult situation I think you have to let the relationship run its course with a very close eye on what she is doing. She is still very young and it is reasonable that you can insist that she only sees the boy in your house, when they are supervised. How do you know about the satan worship, do they talk about it in your presence? I have been through "scarey" moments with my two children, with them doing things I was not comfortable with. I just had to rely on my good parenting, and that all their good sense was instilled in them and would stay with them. I guess I am saying that you daughter is sensible, and will eventually realize this is not the boy for her. Perhaps you could work on distracting her, taking her out to fun places, without the boy... putting more effort in spending time with her. Try to get into a regular routine of spending time with her. My son, now 18, was interested in Satan when he was 16, but it has run its course and found more interesting things to do. "she is now selfish." ... you say she has changed her character, well this selfish attitude is very typical of 16 year old girls. This may not be the boyfriend's effect....See MoreMy 18 year old daughter is barely speaking to me
Comments (7)Are you a very young mom? I don't want to hurt your feelings, but there are a lot of things in your post that sound very immature--the Christmas present thing, calling people names--those are not the way adults handle problems. I think, before you start to work on your relationship with your daughter, it might be a good idea to work on your own level of responsibility and caring. Now, I realize, that if you are in such dire financial straits, that you've had to give up your home and parcel out the family among other family's homes, you've probably got a LOT of issues (aside from your relationship with your daughter) to deal with. And maybe you're just a bit overwhelmed at this point. But your daughter is still a child, even though the government says she's old enough to vote. She still needs you. You still need to parent her. Yes, it's a whold lot more difficult to parent a 'legal' child--that doesn't mean it isn't essential, though. And the situation is only compounded when the parents aren't together and on the same page regarding how to parent. But for your daughter's sake, you simply have to put those things aside and do the right thing for her. She's being a typical 18 year old. None of them really want much to do with their parents--that doesn't tear up your parent card, though, it just means you have to work a little harder and more creatively to do the job you signed on for 18 years ago. Honestly--if you hang in there, and get across to your daughter that you're still her mother, still love her, still will be there for her, she will almost surely come around in a few years. My dd was dying to get away from us (and went to college about 1000 miles away to prove it) at that age. BUT 10 years later? she's annoyed with us because we're moving 30 miles away, she calls me at least once a day just to chat, we get together for dinner or lunch or just to visit at least a couple of times a week. Sometime between age 22 and 25, they really do turn back into normal human beings, so don't burn any bridges that you won't be able to rebuild when the time is right....See Moreboyfriend's 16 yr old daughter
Comments (4)I can relate. I have a adult SD now 26 years old, however, when she was 17-18 years old she sounds pretty much the same as your BF 16 year old daughter. I too felt she was not learning responsibilty and that she thought money grew on trees. She often threw money away on non necessary items and daddy picked up the bill, paying her credit card bills. DH over the last 7 years has been slowly weaning SD off daddy's pocket book. SD keeps attempted to get money from daddy but lately daddy says he can lend it to her but she has to pay it back. It seems to be working. Remember she is now 26 years old. It takes time and it has been a hard 7 years for me (and DH) watching these stepkids continuely attempt to get money from daddy to pay for their fun spending. DH admits it is his fault for always just giving in and paying for everything even when he knew it was wrong or not in their best interest. I think the OP had it right when she mentioned the divorce guilt and just wanting to he a good Dad by giving out money. About the hanging on BF. Yes, my SD did the same thing and even gave DH a picture of her hanging on him for a Christmas present. I just blew it off and it has decreased over the years. SD occassionally does it now but I have noticed DH is not as comfortable with it as when she was younger. He too feels she is getting to old for this kind of behavior. DH gives her a hello or goodby hugs but the hanging on daddy has decreased. Hope this helps. Just remember you have a few years to go with this. It will not go away if you marry. I know in our pre-marriage counceling the councelor asked DH (fiance at the time) when he planned to stop financial support for SD. The councelor said I had a right to know this. DH responded after 4 years of college. I occassionally reminded DH of this. Maybe some counceling or asking BF future plans for financial support of his daughter may help you decide if you want to stay in this relationship. Good luck....See Morekhandi
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