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wonlea2005

why families are the way they are?

wonlea2005
17 years ago

You know on this forum i have seen a lot of discussion about parents and grandparents and i would like to write this if not just for my own sanity. I am the middle child of three girls I have pretty much been married all my life and i have two sisters who have never really been married or held on to a relationship for long but we all have children my mother whom has always showed favoritism meaning loving my sisters more than me and it is very very evident. I was single for a short bit off and on between my two marriages and I never recieved hardly any help not babysitting help not running me to work help I always had to survive and basically on my own.when i was child i remember my older sister and i needing things she would get them for my sister and i would beg her to share her things. We'll now that we are older i have grown children now but mom never acted really like that was her grandchildren and still to this day they are not close to her for that fact. but later on when my sisters started having babies she turned into this loving doting grandmother I have been so hurt over and over of the multitude of favortisms that I started to just plainly not have anymore to do with her. but i always hurt deeply when i am not. If it ever gets mentioned she will find things that I have done in my past to change the subject and make me feel horrible it is a big no no to tell her how she has for example me and her finally got into a grove where we do spend one day a week on our outing I am not working right now due to some health problems my mom and stepfather are very reasonably wealthy not rich but do not hurt for anything. well she asks me the other day to help her fill her vehicle back up after our outing even though she runs everywhere for my sisters and would never request such a thing of them ever. I told her about my daughter having met a doctor she says hmm i could tell she was jealous. anything good that may come my way or my kids way or good that may happen to me and my husband which are far and few between she I can tell all in her voice she does not care and is jealous.When i talk to her it is always about my sisters she talks or their kids when i am depressed or going to doctor she never really calls to check on anything but now if it is my sisters or their children she runs so fast to be by their side and will tell to her husband only good they do and hide the bad. let me do something wrong oh she will be the first one to tell her husband he really thinks i am a terrible person only because if i say or do anything good he does not get that message ever. for example one year my younger sister wrote this letter and it was well wrote and nice mom bragged and gave it to her husband to read and was so proud i think it may have even got put on the fridge we'll I try all the time to make things better I one day just sat down and wrote how I appreciated mom and my stepfather and loved them even though it is hard for me to show feelings well later on I asked my stepfather if he read the note he says what note? If i get a promotion on my previous jobs which i did i would say to my stepfather did he hear about it he would always say no. Let one of my sisters get a promotion we all hear about it. Why are things like that I do not understand I have two girls and I love them equally and boy are they different but would I show that much favortism between them heck no and when they do have children i will love them equally.I don't get it sometimes i try to figure out what i did so bad and i am not perfect but i have done no less or no more than my sisters have in the past. if my mom is getting more attention from her younger daughter as she always wants then i am put on the back burner. one time my younger sister and her was not all that close and we were getting really close and my sister decided to not be with the man she was with and come back to where we live well mom forgot i even existed didn't call me or anything it was all my sister then. once me and my husband separated and i lived with my little sister for a bit we'll mom would call and tell my sister to find a way to come see her and eat and don't let me know. We'll if that is not bad enough my sister had a roommate who was paying a lot of money to live there we'll i was told by my step father that he was the important one he pays more money and that was coming from my mom I paid half the bills when i lived there for a short while. but the roommate no kin to us was the important one. I could go on and on and I am not crazy as if you ever tell all these things to mom she would say. my younger sister lived with me for several years off and on and i did not ask for a penny she ruined my carpet in my whole house but that was ok. mom did not care. Mom got my stepfather to put a trailer in his name for my sister we'll he would never ever help us credit wise i mean never. I could go on and on i think you get the picture why does parents do this and how could they? When i did live with my sister for that short while during my separation mom could only think about what I could pay more on to help my sister and wear and tear on her place I hurt everyday over all this stuff I don't know how to just not care that it is the way it is it's not in me if it was I could just have the best relationship with mom and she would allow and not worry about how she dotes on my sisters kids and them. But how can you get yourself to that point I have tried continously and it always comes back to the hurtful stuff over and over. There are a lot worse things that she has done she and said about me and my girls and it comes down to mostly jealousy. my older sister is single but gets tons of help from welfare does not even have to really pay rent and mom still acts like poor girls. me and my husband struggle but they act as if we should have plenty of money . I don't get it anyone know why or in similar situation please write me!!!

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