My children are older now, not babies or children, but I had the same ideas as you when they were little - limited tv, limits on sugary snacks and sweet drinks, breast feeding, etc. And, like you, my mom laughed or ignored some of them. Fast forward 20 years later, my mom appreciates the way I raised my children and she understands now why I made the choices I did. I am very, very glad I had the rules I did when my kids were young - I was right and I'm glad I held my ground. None of your choices sound extreme to me - limiting sugary snacks, limiting t.v., wanting a schedule and more time just the 3 of you, no trip to the beach at 4 months old - those are all reasonable choices. Cheri is right, your parenting ideas will change as your daughter grows. And she is right, your parents have things to contribute as grandparents. But that doesn't mean that you have to raise your children according to your parents' priorities and wishes. However, keep in mind a few things - whenever you talk about the way you want to raise your kids differently - many grandparents would see that as a criticism of how they raised you, their own child. Before you phrase things, think about how they might come across to your parents as implying that their methods were lacking. Also, be sure and make it a point to mention to your parents what they did right. My mom and I have different ideas about television, putting coke in baby bottles, etc., but my mom is also the person who taught me that when things look hopeless you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and work as hard as you can to change things. That is a gift she gave me infinitely more precious than riches or even education. Be sure and tell your parents what things they taught you that you will pass on to your children. Another suggestion that worked for us is that I told my mom that my husband wanted those rules. My mom simply ignored my rules if they were my rules, but she thinks my husband hung the moon and should have whatever he wants, so she (sometimes) listened if she thought it was my husband's wish. She did whatever she dang well pleased if it was just something I wanted. If my mom was particularly stubborn, my husband told her himself that he wanted it that way. Another thing that works well (with grandparents and babies) is to redirect. If your mom wants to take the baby somewhere, tell her no, now is not a good time, but this weekend would be great, how about then. Or if she wants to give the baby icing, tell her no, but baby loves sweet potatoes, why don't you give her that. Grandparents love to see "firsts" - first bite of chocolate, first time at the beach. Tell your parents, no, you can't take her to the beach this year, but when she's 2 you can take her and be there for her first time. You are being more than reasonable to limit tv, unhealthy snacks, limit visits to less frequently than daily or every other day, and set the expectation of higher education for your children early. Your mother is right, your daughter will express preferences of her own one day in education, food, hobbies, etc. That is still no reason not to set your standards high. If you are raising your daughter significantly different than the way you were raised, it will take years for your parents to change their minds. But when they see your daughter as a teenager, healthy and maintaining a healthy weight, doing well in school, winning awards and doing whatever extracurriculars (sports, violin, girl scouts, dance, whatever rings her bell), trust me, your parents will tell you you did your job well. I want to address something else cheri mentioned - her daughter's desire to use organic food, use cloth diapers, read to her children daily (I heartily endorse the part about reading to your children daily, by the way). The drive to be the best mom she could possibly be was strong in cheri's daughter, and even if her daughter changed her ways, she still probably has a strong drive to do her best. That drive should be honored, respected, and as much as reasonable should be indulged by grandparents. The realities of life will knock some practicality into the heads of young parents - let them have their dreams and give it their best shot. When my oldest was a baby my mother-in-law told me this, "In every young mother's life there comes a time when she has to look at her mother and say, 'Mother, you raised your kids the way you wanted, now it's my turn to raise my kids the way I want'." Be loving, be kind, include and affirm the grandparents, and let the grandparents have their way when it isn't important to you. But stand your ground with kindness on the things that matter. Everything you're asking for is reasonable and healthy for your child.

A couple of things come to mind here. The first is that I usually prefer to keep my DD's friend's parents at a healthy arms length. The reason is mostly because if the girls' relationship gets strained, it feels awkward for me to be buddies with Mom. A few years back, I met a woman through my DD's school....her daughter was in the same school. She and I became fairly close, but my DD really did not like the daughter. We socialized a bit on the weekends and DD went grudgingly for a while and then later started to refuse. When DD's birthday rolled around, I felt like I needed to invite my friend's daughter...DD said she'd "ruin" the party for her. We do still socialize every now and then with other school families, but only if we feel they're really interesting people. It is also easier now that DD is in high-school. Middle school girls have relationships that are complicated enough without the added layer of complexity that whole-family friendships bring. I also can fall into the trap of feeling judged when people are less than friendly. I have to remind myself that maybe they're just introverted. As others have suggested, maybe the parents feel a bit guilty and don't know who to deal with that, so they just give you the brush-off to minimize their own discomfort. They may also just not have any extra juice left for social interactions after what sounds like incredibly demanding workdays. They may be unhappy people or just going through a rough patch. It's hard to be nice to others when you are suffering. My guess is that its a mixture of some or all of these things. Finally, though you are going above and beyond in your generousity towards this girl, I do not think you need to reevaluate the situation or figure out a way to back off. Being the home that everyone flocks to is a great blessing. You are a blessing for those "fledgling" kids and a blessing to your own kids. It is a huge compliment that your DD wants to be home with you. And you are lucky she's not off elsewhere...so many kids just can't escape their homes/parents fast enough. Before you know it they'll all be off to college and you'll miss them terribly. We were the-house-everyone-comes-to in middle school and I just loved knowing my daughters friends. Now, she is a day-student at a boarding school and their social life is largely confined to campus. We hardly ever see her friends and the house is quiet on weekends. I miss the old days!

Originally I used the trench-edging method. But that needed refreshing three times a year (spring, mid-summer, and fall) so it became a big chore as the garden got bigger. Plus, since I use a walker for mobility, I had much the same problem as NHBab's husband with the mower :-) It was annoying - and hazardous- to have a wheel drop into the trench! So I moved to the metal edge + brick option. That worked quite well. But the winter of 2015/2016 caused a lot of frost heave for the metal edge. Along the 'moat bed' where the metal was highly visible, we actually lifted the sod and added more soil to hide the metal edge! In other places, I have planted things to drape over the edge - but when the plants are dormant the metal is annoyingly visible! Along the garage bed where it is shady, I planted hostas as an edging and removed the metal and bricks last week. I wish there were big leafed plants like hostas that would work well in full sun! In the shady backyard there is only a bit of brick edging - without metal edging as there is no grass near the edging to invade it. So the edging is only an issue in the sunny front garden. I'm not happy with the look of some of it now but am also not prepared to do the work to do a major overhaul, so will be tinkering with plants to hide the most egregious problem areas :-) I don't think there is any perfect edging!

Actually, a gift card to our local nursery is an excellent idea. She's pretty particular about her plants, but she does love hanging baskets and items for her porch. IdaClaire, we get my mil a hanging basket every year for Mother's Day. This year our favorite greenhouse made a website, so customers can place their orders ahead of time and then pick up curbside. mtnrd, it's the same here, in our part of Alberta. Only one person from each household/family is allowed at the greenhouses and nurseries. One place is allowing two shoppers max in each greenhouse.