Vickey-MN

Good luck.

Jamie

Good Luck!!!

GOOD LUCK to you, you sound like you need it!

~P

Your daughters need to see you stand up to him and for them.

He is a bully and teasing to the point of making someone cry is something a father should guard his kids against not impose upon them.

I think you should say to your father

"when you say that to me it upsets me, can you please not say that "

Perhaps if you did this a few times, he might get the message.

I know it is difficult to stand up for yourself but sometimes we need to take a big breath and just be brave and say it !

Good luck with it all.

It is good you talk to your Mum and step mother.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like your dad isn't very mature and your mom and stepmom aren't protecting you. You can't change any one of them, you can only work with what you have been given. Do you have any other male role models in your family you can turn to? Also, if you are 13, can you legally start choosing to refuse visitation if you live with your mom?

I always grew up waiting for the other shoe to drop too--it is an ad continum in my life and it is how I feel about most people given their selfish bent. Like you, I also was the youngest of 3 girls in my family. I've had people tell me that I'm hard to get to know, although I would describe these people as narcissists, endless self-promoters and self-talkers. I think these people just want to talk all about themselves. I'm don't consider myself quiet or hard to get to know around people who sincerely desire to get to know me, instead of taking every opportunity to incessantly talk all about themselves and their opinions or who just ask nosy, instrusive questions with a shallow and superficial focus and that is no incentive to get to know them either, but to run in the other direction.

I don't consider myself hard to get to know, although I will say that I'm very discerning to who I reveal myself too. I think that is self-protecting and healthy, given the types of selfish, destructive people that I've encountered. None of these people ever take an ounce of responsibility for anything, instead they state that they didn't intend too. They don't apologize or take responsibility for anything period.

The teasing that you describe happens in families filled with anger and hostility and teasing is a more socially acceptable way of demonstrating that, especially from people who deny their anger or who try to treat you as a receptacle for all their disowned emotions. I think your family did that to you. Forget about these people ever taking an ounce of responsibility for how it felt to you--that just will not happen. If they feel bad about it they will twist it into all about them and how they are imperfect and how they didn't mean too. That is their way to feel better about it and how they will rationalize their ugly behaviors. Those responses may have a grain of truth to them, but if you really look at that focus, once again it is all about them. They cannot relate to anything that you feel, in any, way, shape or form.

I agree with you--no one should tease or laugh at their children at their expense or even other people's children--jus the same people do this all the time. A good many of these people are so unaware and oblivious and they may not behave this way to their own children, but will do so to others or actively search for other scapegoats and people to project their inappropriate and disowned emotions on.

If you take a look around in your every day encounters with others and also on the internet you will find a lot of people who respond in rageful, hateful ways towards others. They want everyone to understand them and to relate to them, but they cannot relate to you. I've encountered that here in this forum as well--people so focused on their own anger and rage and getting their needs met at the constant expense of other people.

I hope you will find other people that you will feel emotionally safe with. I think it quite rare to find people who are not excessively selfish and thoughtless. Take care of yourself!

I'm glad you felt encouraged to speak out. I hope you will find people that desire to know you.

I agree. If someone perceives himself or herself as the victim of teasing and experiences the teasing as unpleasant, then it is considered as hurtful. If the other person continues to "tease" after being asked to stop, then it is a form or bullying or abuse.

Parents who abuse their children under the guise of 'teasing' deserve to rot in an old age home alone.