Son 19 flunked college..now what?
texasone
13 years ago
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popi_gw
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Bringing Up Old Thread: Time for Spooky Stories
Comments (5)Hey g, I hear ya on no outside. It's darn raw here today. Was supposed to be warm, but you can't tell it by me. I've had a number of experiences over the years, but I'll tell ya'll about the first one I remember. When I was five my grandfather died. I had wanted to go visit him just before then but my parents wouldn't let me...long story. So, when he died I wanted to go to the funeral bad. They wouldn't let me, said I was too young. I was very adamant and really threw a fit about it. I didnt' get to go. Shortly thereafter, one night I was in bed. A storm was coming, something woke me up and I saw a figure of a man at the window putting the window down. I knew it was him. Right after that my mother came in to shut the window and was surprised it was already shut since I was too small to do it. I told her Grandpop had did it. That summer several times he came and shut the window before a storm. After that my mother wasn't surprised when she came in and it was already done. About ten years ago my father died. I live in the house where I grew up. Had moved back here to help him a few years before he died. Sometime in the first year after he died, I was at the computer in the living room with my back to the hallway. All of a sudden I heard his loud.. Hey.. It was how he always greeted us. My mother died before him and that was about the same time I kept feeling her around when I'd talk about her. Smiles. Guess he wanted to make himself known too. My mother and I learned when I first moved away from home that we could do the mental messages to each other. If one wanted the other to call, we'd just think of it and they would get the message. Then I started doing it with my aunt and later my best friend and I would do it. Still do it with my aunt and best friend. Friend lives across country and we don't talk often, unless one of us sends 'the message'. To this day I always can tell when my mother is around because we smell the cigarette smoke. No one has smoked in this house in twenty years at least....See MoreMy Viking is dead. What should i buy?
Comments (27)riOt, I am sorry that the Viking works. It would be nice to replace it without guilt. I really use our Viking alot! We use it to bake home made pizza almost every weekend, bake bread etc. We baked bread and pizza last night and they were both yum.. The crust was fab! What I hate is the Viking range hood that I bought with the Viking range. The stupid thing is completely underpowered for the kind of cooking we do. I tried to replace the blower with the externally mounted one from another company and we flunked the noise ordinance. Alas, I can't swap out the hood without getting a new range due to matching color issues. We all make "appliance mistakes" in life. The replacement would cost me about $8000 to $10,000 after all is said and done with the custom made hood etc etc. (I want a custom made hood that really works!) That is a pretty large ticket item for me at this point. Try to enjoy the range while you have a holiday from the unreliability with the latest patch job....See MoreMy husband doesn't like my adult son.
Comments (20)I am in the same situation. It’s New Years Day and I am lying here depressed. My adult son came to temporarily live with me and my new husband of 2 years about 7 months ago. He asked and my husband said yes. My husband decided not to charge him rent or anything, even told him he can eat what we eat, wash clothes, basically our home is his home. We have a written agreement which we all signed. My son takes out the garbage and cuts grass, clean his room & bathroom. He’s making plans to move back out as agreed. He has savings. Is my son perfect? No, but he is not disrespectful. Other than not walking around the house naked, nothing else has changed in our marital relationship. My husband took it upon himself to step in as a father to my son and even asked my son if that was ok. His biological father…didnt do his job and has no real relationship with him. My husband and son get along fine. However i know my husband is faking it. If my son makes one mistake or forget something, my husband is very critical and judgemental. He complains to me telling lies about my son and says hateful things about my son. i love my husband but this is unacceptable to me. i am beyond hurt and angry. My son doesnt even know how my husband really feels. What brought to this post…my husband thought my son had left and left the door unlocked at 2am. My son was actually outside. Anyway all i literally said was to tell him and immediately he accused me of coming to my son’s defense and starts going off. I am confused. If someone does something wrong or forgot something, isnt the natural thing to do is tell them? What did I say wrong? There is so much more I could say to paint the picture of everything that has gone on. I dont want a divorce but this is too crazy!...See MoreStep Son Drama
Comments (10)I am not a step parent so I hope it's ok to answer. I have stepparents though and so I know a little about the relationships. I honestly hate to steer you towards 'leaving' your husband so I will suggest this. Marriage and family counseling? I am a huge advocate of therapy. I never would have been before but in the last 6 years of my life I have had and still have many types of therapists. I saw a therapist for myself during my seperation. ExDH and I saw a therapist for coparenting. I saw a therapist during a very rough time in my life a few yrs ago and I am seeing one again Now. Therapists offer different points of view to help to understand where someone is in their thinking. It's especially beneficial when you go together because it gives you a 'safe zone' to talk about the things that would normally cause a blow up or someone to just walk out without the other person being heard. If your husband is completely against that, what choice do you have? You have two other children you have to consider that are CHILDREN. Your adult child and this 17 yr old are old enough to handle themselves but the younger ones need to be considered. If your SS is disrespectful in your home, at 18 it will be even worse. He probably needs more counseling than anyone. Sounds like he is on a distructive path and needs some immediate guidance. You aren't just an SM, you raised him. You deserve the same respect as any parent regardless of your blood relation. My stepfather has been my DAD for 27 of my 30 yrs. My biodad watched from the third row while my SD walked me down the aisle and raised me. That was how I showed him my appreciation while my 'sperm donor' ran around taking care of his 'other' family and didn't blink in my direction. I know that the teenage yrs are rough but your husband and SS should be showing you a little more appreciation for the unconditional love you have showed over the last 13 1/2 yrs. Your husband should definitly be showing his unconditional love and supper for your DD as well. I had a similiar conversation with my own stepdad today. It was the best choice for me to divorce my ex and have my dd in two different homes instead of in the one home where she would never learn love, affection, acceptance, and support. Which is what she sees now that I am remarried and absolutely in love with my husband. I know you probably aren't thinking about that aspect of it but is it healthy for your DD and DS to see this and more importantly feel the back burner, day in and day out? It's up to you but I hope that will help you good luck...See Morepopi_gw
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agoasolo
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6 years ago
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