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heidiho_gw

13 year old bedwetter

heidiho
19 years ago

My grandson still wets the bed at age 13. My daughter has been going to Dr.'s for years and had his kidney's and bladder checked and everything checks out ok. She's tried everything to help him but nothing works. So he's been wearing pull-ups at night for years. His younger sister doesn't wet.

His father was a bedwetter and so was my daughter but they both stopped on their own at 12-13 years old.

Anyway, the problem now is that a couple of his neigborhood friends found out and now she doesn't know how to handle this problem. Every once in awhile the boys argue and don't talk for a couple of weeks then they're friends again. She's kinda friendly with the mothers & was wondering if she should ask them to discuss this with their child hoping they could explain the traumatic effect it would have on her son if this got out in his first year of jr. high ; or would it be better not to bring it up at all in hopes that it'll be forgotten by the time school starts? Any suggestions appreciated. Thanks for your time and have a very nice weekend.

Comments (33)

  • SandiD
    19 years ago

    Has your daughter taken your grandson to a counselor or a therapist? If he's wetting the bed & it's not medical, it could be psychological.

    My younger brother wet the bed for the longest time too. If I'm remembering right, it took him being teased by all his friends before he stopped, but I'm pretty sure his was a psychological problem that didn't get treated though.

    If your daughter does talk to the friends moms, it could go either way. One, the kids could imagine how they'd feel, or two, they could act like young teenagers and blurt it out (even without meaning to). It's an unfriendly world out there for our young ones & I'd hate to be in my own teen's place.

    If it was me, I wouldn't mention it to the other kids' moms. My oldest daughter is 13 (she'll be in 8th grade this fall) & she'd be horribly hurt if I shared something that private with another parent (and it would get back to her). My younger daughter is almost 11 & she'd be heart broken if I shared anything of that nature with anyone, even family.

  • sheilajoyce_gw
    19 years ago

    Ann Landers used to recommend a battery alarm device you could buy at Sears catalog. I think it was called Wee Wetter, and it worked beautifully!

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  • Jonesy
    19 years ago

    I would take off the pull ups, by doing that he will not sleep peacefully. Nobody wants to sleep on a wet bed. Make him get up strip the sheets and put dry ones on, like the little boy in the commercial. All 3 of my sister's boys wet the bed until around that age. When diapers no longer held the urine she put towels on them, no pull ups at that time. None of the rest of the kids in the family had that problem. The first night one of my boys went through the night with out wetting the bed the diapers came off and training pants went on. Believe he knew that he was doing it and didn't like it.

  • intherain
    19 years ago

    When my son was 7 and still wetting the bed, our pediatrician gave us these suggestions:
    *have him set an alarm and he needs to get up and use the bathroom when it goes off. If he has already wet the bed, he needs change his sheets and take care of everything himself.
    Prior to this, he was sleeping right through it, so he wasn't really AWARE that it was happening. Well, we did this and after 3 nights the bedwetting completely stopped and he's never wet the bed since (he's almost 12).

    I would suggest stopping the Pull-Ups.

  • Seamer1
    19 years ago

    I know it is tramatime for kids to still be doing this, at this age. I say just leave them alone, let them change their own beds, and just act like it is no big deal. The will quit when his body will let him, trust me I KNOW!

  • queenofmycastle0221
    19 years ago

    I started bedwetting as a teenager. My dr gave me a medication that held my bladder through the night. It made a world of difference!

    Ask the DR!

    I think the persons who said to take off the pullups should have to pay for the mattress that will be required to replace whatever he sleeps on. The problem isn't fixed yet.

  • Jonesy
    19 years ago

    I have plastic covers on all of our mattresses in case of an accident of some kind. Their expensive to replace.

  • compumom
    19 years ago

    Medication can help manage the problem, but it is very common in children with Attention Deficit Disorder. Apparently the two are very closely aligned. Most grow out of it, don't make a big deal out of it. Pullups work.

  • aprilflower
    19 years ago

    My son, at age 10, still wets the bed as well. He also has ADHD and the doctor explained that since his central nervous system isn't as advanced, we could expect the bedwetting to continue indefinitely and then end on it's own. We've also tried the alarms, etc (which he sleeps right thru), and for a child *such as my son* I would NEVER recommend leaving off the pull-ups. My son is embarrassed enough when he wets thru the pull-up, and it's not a matter of being uncomfortable enough to not sleep - he's such a heavy sleeper that he doesn't even notice till he wakes up in the morning. There IS medication available, for when he goes to sleep-overs, etc, but it's not for every day use or convenience as it interferes with hormones and kidney functions. We've resigned ourselves to the fact that he WILL eventually grow out of it, and it's part of his everyday chores to wash his sheets and comfortor. Back to the original question, I would speak to the other boys' mothers. 13 is just, imo, old enough to get over the teasing factor and if it's explained to them in the right way, they may be more compassionate about it. Good Luck!

  • wellwhatever_telus_net
    13 years ago

    My son is 13 and is also a bedwetter as well. we stopped using goodnights,just kept leaking, so we now use cloth diapers and plastic pants. he likes them better.he does not like to go on sleepovers with his friends.as a mom and dad, we would love to chatt with you, and are sons could do the same if that ok with you?

  • g_pelletier_comcast_net
    13 years ago

    I have 2 sons, one 11 and the other is 13, who is still wetting the bed 2 or 3 times a week. My youngest son, never had this problem. I don't think it's psychological at all. I do believe he is a deep sleeper who has developed such a bad habit it is extremely hard to break now. I have also been told he will outgrow it on his own. I pray that is true. He does his own laundry and takes a shower every morning. it is extremeley frustrating for me but I have accepted that it is out of my control after i have tried EVERYTHING. He has to want to change this behavior more than me. I am consider hypnotherapy and after that, I'm out of options. We have the medication but I am also trying to save that as a last resort.

  • heidiho
    Original Author
    13 years ago

    Good luck to all of you. My grandson is now 19 years old and no longer wets the bed. He just quit on his own last year.
    Maybe the fear of knowing one day soon he would not be sleeping alone helped him to overcome his problem.lol
    We just don't know. Whatever it was that stopped him it has been a relief to those of us who love him as it is for him.
    Don't give up on your children/grandchildren.
    They will quit when they are ready.
    Meanwhile just keep washing sheets or let them wash them and shower asap.
    Good luck again.

  • asolo
    13 years ago

    Just about everybody grows out of this. I know it's incredibly frustrating while it's going on -- especially when it's gone on beyond a "normal" age. In the situations I've been close to, none of the various medications or therapies accomplished anything other than stressing everybody out. All of the situations worked out over time as the people grew. Absorbent shorts, good hygiene, and good-working laundry machines can get you through indefinitely.

    Kids/people are different. This is one of the differences. Make a mental adjustment. Take practical measures. And wait.

  • bdbdrums_yahoo_com
    12 years ago

    My son will be 13 soon and still wets the bed. He has tried the "alarm", us waking him up every 2 hours, putting him on an air mattress right next to the bathroom, with pull-ups, without pull-ups,the DDAVP medication and trips to the Urologist. Nothing has helped. Pediatrician says "give it time". He used to manage w/Pull-ups for sleep-overs and Scout Camp but now we feel it is far too risky! He could easily be "discovered" (the smell or just being seen with it). Boys at this age can be brutal. We have serious concerns over the potential fallout from his peers and he thinks we're being unreasonable. I wish I could make this go away for him!! With all my heart!!!!!!!

  • L U
    12 years ago

    Hi, my daughter went through a terrible time wetting the bed. At 11 she was such a deep sleeper I had concerns that she might never overcome this obstacle. I had a friend with a son who wet the bed and she told me she tried this alarm that cured him in THREE nights. It was hard to cough up $100 for an alarm I was sure wouldn't work, but I felt I had to try everything.

    After purchasing it only took my daughter THREE nights as well! It has been 5 years now and to this day I cry everytime I think of how long it took and how I almost didn't believe it would work and how much longer it could have taken for her to overcome on her own.

    The alarm I used was called Malem. I bought the one that vibrated as well as sounded. The best money I ever spent and the best feeling in the world was the day that a close friend of mine confided that her son had a wetting problem. I gifted it to her and wahlah....the same success.

    I wish you all out there the very best!

  • ms_minnamouse
    12 years ago

    Has he been tested for diabetes? That can cause bed wetting. So can sleep disorders. It isn't normal to sleep through an alarm, the feeling of urgency to urinate, and a wet bed.

    He may have sleep apnea which can be causing him to be exhausted to the point that he'll sleep through those things. Very deep sleep can also be narcolepsy.

    He should get a sleep study done. Find a sleep specialist and a sleep clinic. It's important.

  • Alana_2424
    10 years ago

    My step daughter was still wetting the bed at 18 years old. We had been to every doctor imaginable -- every thing from pediatric urologist to neurologist and nothing. Alarms did nothing. The typical medications - DDAVP, imipramine, ect. - nothing. Still, she had may 1 dry night a week. One day, I noticed something odd. She had injured her back playing volleyball. At the same time, she had been dry most of the last 3 weeks. I started trying to find anything that was different - food, drink, habits. Then, I realized she had been taking ibuprofen 800mg three times a day during that time. I scoured the web looking for any information I could find. I found a pediatric urologist at Rutgers University who was doing research on the use on non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs for the treatment of bedwetting. As it turns out, some people produce too many prostaglandins at night. Somehow, and please don't ask me how, the prostaglandins cause the bladder to be dysfunctional. It has something to do with preventing the reabsorption of sodium. Anyway, the research showed that while ibuprofen may or may not work, the best NSAID for bedwetting was indomethacin because it works primarily on the type of prostaglandin (PG1) that causes the bladder dysfunction. She started taking indomethacin 50mg at bedtime and was dry 6 out of 7 nights. The dose was increased to 75mg at bedtime and she has been dry for 4 months. According to this doctor, there is no easy test to see if this is the problem. However, if all other medications fail, it is worth a try. All I know it has changed the life of a young lady who has had to deal with this her entire life. Give ibuprofen a try. If you get any kind of results at all, see your doctor. Indomethacin requires a prescription. The indomethacin dose is 25mg -100mg at bedtime. While indomethacin can cause stomach problems, I have been assured by the doctor and the pharmacist that a one a day dosing will typically be okay. Hope this helps.

  • elizabethgolderer
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    I'm almost 13 and the last time I wet the bed was like 3 months ago. It hurts because my other friend (same age as me) stopped 3 years ago, then a year later I stopped. But, a couple months after that I started again. The last time I wet the bed (3 months ago) I woke up at like 5:00 and started crying. My older sister(32) came in and comforted me. My mom used to yell at me when I wet the bed and it made me think I was weird and not meant to be here. But since my sister comforted that one morning I haven't wet the bed. So, from experience, I think you just need someone to not care about what you do but just to understand how you feel.

  • sylviatexas1
    8 years ago

    excellent & thoughtful response elizabeth!


  • elizabethgolderer
    8 years ago

    Thx

  • lucillle
    8 years ago

    Diabetes

  • laxislife207
    8 years ago

    Im a 13 year old that pees herself still.One point im okay and then I have to go bad! I go to the bathroom constantly.I try my best to not pee...then it happens.I cross my legs trying to go then it comes out.Sometimes I cant even move and I sit there trying to make it stop and pretend to itch. I pee myself about 3 times a day.I need help.Im trying my best and I dont know what to do.I wear pads and I still smell.I want to be able no to pee myself

  • laxislife207
    8 years ago

    Any tips



  • colleenoz
    8 years ago

    There may be something wrong with, for want of a better term, your waterworks. Get your Mom to make an appointment with your doctor to have it checked out. Pelvic floor exercises may also help. At your age wearing pads is not the solution.

  • cacocobird
    8 years ago

    My daughter wet the bed until around that age. I had the alarm thing from Sears, the doctor checked everything out, and had no health problems. She eventually outgrew. It was a pain, but we got through it.

  • L V
    8 years ago

    I continue to support the use of a bed alarm. We recently used the same alarm on our granddaughter that I used on my daughter years ago. My granddaughter, 6, experienced the same results as my daughter. For the 13 year old above, hang in there and please go see a doctor. This is more than just a bedwetting issue. Have doctor complete an ultrasound. Good luck laxislife207!

  • jjoplusfour
    7 years ago

    I still buy three different sizes of diapers and training pants because I have three boys that all have bedwetting and potty issues. My oldest who is 12 wets every night. My middle son is 9 and wets 3-4 nights a week. My youngest is 4 and wets at night too and has daytime accidents as well. My only daughter is 15 and has never wet the bed. She is a tremendous help, especially with the two younger boys. I have stayed patient and understanding and try to never make them feel bad about it. There are much worse things than wearing a pull-up to bed.

  • colleenoz
    7 years ago

    >>There are much worse things than wearing a pull-up to bed.<< True, but none of your boys is going to want to do that on his honeymoon. Have you had them checked out by a doctor to see if there is a root cause?

  • lam702
    7 years ago

    This is an old post, so I'm sure the OP's son, who would now be about 26, has resolved his bedwetting issue. My son was a bedwetter until about age 10. He just never woke up at night, he was such a deep sleeper. Once asleep, nothing could wake him up, he slept like a stone. Yet, he was cranky and tired during the day, even though he went to bed very early. The doctor found no medical reason for his bedwetting. But, eventually we discovered he had celiac disease. Once he got off the gluten, his sleep issues improved, he started waking up at night when he had to use the bathroom. Not only that, but he became much more pleasant and well rested. Little did we know, the celiac disease was the underlying cause. That was 20 yrs ago, when celiac was rarely thought of or diagnosed. I'm not saying this is the case for every case of bed wetting, but it was a factor for my son and I suspect for others too.

  • dealsonet8
    7 years ago

    its not a medical challenge or anything like this . it can be a psychological problem or not necessry that also happen . it just a kids thing :P . i also a bed wetter for a long time (seriously long time u cant even imagine) but with time all goes okay .its just play of time and maturity

  • PRO
    Anglophilia
    7 years ago

    Bed wetting is highly inheritable. The child may well be in his (more boys than girls, but both sexes) teens before the condition is outgrown. Reassuring the child that he WILL someday be dry is important. There are a couple of meds available today that work miracles.

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