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brennafly

Daughter and Boyfriend

brennafly
17 years ago

Okay, I'm not a parent, but I do have a question for all of you who are (esp those with adult children). My mother hates my boyfriend. My father just tolerates him. What can I do to show them that I'm not making a mistake, that he really is wonderful and makes me happier than I ever imagined? Or, if that's impossible, how do I at least make family get-togethers less painful, for them and him? (and don't suggest not inviting him, it's not an option)

We have lived together for almost a year (before someone jumps on me for this, this is NOT the issue, my parents told me flat out that I need to live with whoever I'm serious about, just so I know what I'm getting into) and started dating a few months before I moved in with him. We live less than an hour away from my parents, yet it took them 9 months to come for dinner. And they only ended up coming because we invited family friends over as well.

This is really hard for me to deal with, I have always gotten along with my parents. I'm not a problem child, I make pretty good choices with my life. I'm 21, graduated from college at 20, hold (and have always held) a job that totally supports me, and have never been in a relationship that would make my parents question my judgement. He is 25, has a 5yo son from a previous relationship that he loves and takes care of to the best of his ability (he doesn't have custody), has a decent job and a plan for the future. He's not perfect, neither am I. We make each other happy and we have healthy, solid relationship. I just wish my parents could accept that.

Any suggestions on helping that process? I know it's not my problem, but it drives me crazy to see how much it hurts him that he's not welcome around my parents. I've already told my mom that I won't listen to snarky comments about him and I try my best to mention whenever he does things for me above and beyond what I expect, but I don't know where to go from here. Anyone else been here? On either side of the issue?

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