my 17 year old apparently has downloaded movies off the internet onto the computer in his room. this kid is a computer whiz, he is light years beyond me in his computer knowledge, he encrypts stuff so that i have no idea what i'm seeing when i check his computer..so i have to rely on his honesty (or dishonesty!) as to what he is doing. i received a "Notice of Action under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act" letter from my isp today. i am completely freaking out here. i am not sure what it means, if i will be sued or not. i know my isp has stated that they have the right to cancel my service, which i understand and if that is the only thing that happens i will feel very grateful. what i am worried about is being sued. i've read the horror stories of parents being sued over their kids illegal downloads of music. i know that i need to be ever-vigilant of my teen's use of the computer, and i try to be. i am contemplating removing the computer from his room and putting it into a more visible area of the house, and monitoring what he is doing. he will be 18 in september and i hate having to treat him like a child, but i guess i need to in order to protect myself. my question is not how to deal with my teenager (nor am i asking to be blasted for this situation occurring in the first place, so please no lectures, i'm feeling fragile and i might cry!!).

what i am wondering is if anyone out there has found themselves in the same predicament and how they handled it.

thanks,
jiggreen

I hope everything turns out OK.

For now the bigger issue seems to be his computer usage. I would definitely move that thing out his room until he understands it is YOUR butt that something happens to if he does something illegal. The stuff you've been warned about could be just the tip of the iceberg in terms of illegal material, i.e. explicit images, etc.

What you need is the help of a computer specialist that can teach you how to put the basic security measures on your computer. And tell them that your son is a whiz at figuring stuff out. If it doesn't completely stop him, it will at least be a deterrent and you can take some action in the meantime. While he's at school, go in there and look at everything he's been looking at. Then have it completely erased and move the computer to a central location where you can monitor access.

My sister (who does know a thing about computers, fortunately for her) went through this same thing with her similarly aged son. It was no picnic but basically she played his game...very well...and it scared the crap out of him. :) Needless to say, he is much more respectful of her and I don't think she has that problem any more.

I agree with Phyllis. Take the computer out of his room, take it to a computer specialist, have him LOCK it so only you can use it, or your son can for school use only (i.e. MS WORD).

THEN, tell your son this is what you've done and why. You can't trust him

THEN, call your ISP, tell them what happen, what is their couse of action, what do you need to do.

Yes you're treating him like a child, #1 he is, #2 what he did tells you he is immature and acting like one so you need to treat him like one. #3 when he is an adult and responsible for himself (meaning his butt gets put in jail not yours), then he can have rights back.

Vickey-mn

I would bet he understands that what he did is stealing but may not understand the complete seriousness of it. And, I think some kids really get a rush just to be able to download a movie more than they really care about the free movie itself. I would have a serious talk with him about stealing and understanding how serious this condition could be and how you are responsible.

I guess the rest of the punishment really depends on you and your child. Is he generally a good kid? I don't think all trust is lost and I don't think it's necessary to treat him as such. Kids have a funny way of living up to our expectaions of them: good or bad. Mistakes are made especially in the teen years. But, you know your child best and are best to make call on if you can trust him or not.

And, as one poster suggested you could consult a lawyer to set you mind at ease or maybe there are some other computer savvy friends you could discuss the issue with.

This link is some kids (?) talking about getting caught. Though you may like to read it.

Good luck.

Lawyers? Drastic measures? I would call the folks who sent you the notice first and find out what it is and what it means. Don't see much sense in agonizing over what you might imagine before you find out what's really going on. ISP's do this kind of thing all the time. You're just one hundreds if not thousands. Call them and ask.

You can handle your relationship with your child on your own time. This is an innocent third party who is alleging some sort of violation and needs to be dealt with adult to adult.