My baby is now three months old. I'm already a very different parent than I expected to be! I thought I would remain much more emotionally calm than I usually do. I'm getting better, but our baby can be so much more frustrating than I had anticipated. My sisters' babies are so easygoing and relaxed, I suppose I expected our baby to be like them. But no!! 'Relaxed' is the last word you could use to describe our Ben! He is an intense little guy and we have to work very, very hard to get him to relax and (eventually, if we're lucky) fall asleep. My sisters' babies would fall asleep after gazing at a mobile for a while.... I've learnt that babies come into this world with much stronger preferences than I thought! Ben's strongest preference is for lots and lots of cuddles all the time, which is both incredibly difficult and an incredible pleasure. I've attached a link to some pictures of our little bundle of trouble and joy! Here is a link that might be useful: Pictures of Ben

No one, male or female, should go on to have a second family if it means he or she would not be able to support the first family. I don't understand what being self-sufficient before marriage has to do with being able to support your entire household as a single parent a quarter of a century later, after having been out of the workforce for years. I was self-sufficient before WE had children. WE decided that I would work part-time, and later be a SAHM. I will never be able to achieve the income (in today's money) that I had before I stopped working - not with the gap in work history and, even more importantly, my age. Funny thing is that when my exH was unemployed, the magistrate told him that he was too old to expect ever to get another job (even my xH looked horrified at that statement) - and then the magistrate told me that supporting our children was primarily MY responsibility. My exH is only a few years older than I am. Apparently women are never too old to work, but men are. mom_of_four, I did not actually use the phrase "real family" - I said "real spouse" and "real son/daughter-in-law." An OW/OM is not one of these. lonepiper, I am not going to argue Christian theology with you, since the only part of the Bible I ever read was the old testament for high school English Lit (I still don't know why it was considered appropriate for a public school English Lit class, but that's beside the point). However, not one, but two different posters who said they were Christians told me that, and I agree with the statement, whether or not it is an accurate representation of what is stated somewhere in the new testament.

I think you're right on in the rent arena. I'm in the don't fix them food camp. But then, I began in 4th grade with my son. If he wants to make his lunch, more power to him. There are some nights, if he wants dinner, he has to cook it. He's 14 years old. However, I did start teaching him very very early on how to measure, prepare food, use the stove and oven responsibly, etc. And he's highly responsible. So it works for us. Even with the very driven school (students write the faculty when they get to the university of their choice and say, this is easy, thanks!) he attends, I don't cook all the time. I do cook dinner when there's a project, exam, etc. in every subject, but mostly, he can handle homework and housework. He likes that he's self-sufficient, feels free! I limit what protein he can have, e.g. pork, chicken, etc, but how he prepares it, fairly free. I still fry the food though. Haven't passed off those reins. Take that back, he'll fry a handful of popcorn shrimp on occasion. My point? Teach them. Involve them. Take them to the store with a budget and let them decide a menu (not hand them the money). Or tradeoff. One night you, one night Molly, one night Sam, one night it's every man for himself... Make it fun! Mostly, rent doesn't cover the time and energy it takes to do it all.

Yes embrace being a new mother. Congratulations to you both !!! Do not know all the answers to questions....but here's my two cents. Who cares what the medical cost will be for bio mom for birthing. You can make payments to hospital, docs, etc. You and hubby will be given one of the most precious gifts that money cannot buy. Hubby can sign birth certificate at hospital. No test needed unless requested by either party. Contact a couple attorneys in your area. Most of them will be able to give you details on cost, time spent, and other important details on adoption. Shouldn't be too expensive. When I adopted my son a couple years back it cost me about 1500.00 for court fees, paperwork, attorney. Please make sure the bio mom is giving up ALL rights with paperwork.....why is she in custody battle for 12 year old son? You don't want that. Now for a little more advice. As for the paternity of this baby. Make a decision to not get baby tested. To take this precious child as the gift from God as intended and do NOT look back. Love, love, love..... You and hubby are being truly blessed. I know of many couples that would love to have this opportunity. Please keep us posted on progress. Best of luck to you and your family !!!