I'm bad for driving off and leaving little battery operated radios. The first was a most excellent (but inexpensive), clear as a bell, weather radio. Don't remember the brand, or for that matter exactly were it was purchased; only that I have never been able to find a replacement just like it. As I recall the incident, was maybe 100 miles down the road when I "remembered"! The other was a small hand held AM/FM radio, not a whole lot taller than a pack of cigarettes and maybe about a thick and wide. I had bought it from Radio Shack and it was on sale; remember the clerk had said what a great reception and tone it had for such a small radio ... and it did! We had been camped right next to a river where we had been fishing and that particular morning we were going to break camp and move on over to another river maybe 50 miles away; and I was whipping up some breakfast at the picnic table, while listening to the morning news with that little radio. Had it sitting in a crook of a tree right close by. I remember it was tuned to a PBS station and after the news & weather, some classical music came on that I liked. So what I did was have breakfast, wash the dishes, break camp - which meant closing up the popup camper, all the while the little radio played on in the crook of that tree; and hitched-up the camper and driving off, too! The next morning, at the new camp site, I was wondering where I put the radio. It really did'nt come to me what I had done until in the middle of the following night when I suddenly awoke to remember the last where-abouts of that radio! Now, I've went back to Radio Shack to find a replacement, but that one was on a close-out sale and the newer replacement model was almost three times as much and the same clerk said it was'nt as good! Oh, the pain of it all! Dale

Been on both sides myself. Raise nicely middle class, married to a working fellow-we had kids and a nice, comfy life-until he got involved with drugs and I had to literally flee in the middle of the night with my children and two suitcases. From there I was a single mother on welfare. And let me tell you, unless you have been there-you have NO WAY to know what it is like. You DO NOT have everything 'free'. I was allotted a certain amount each month for foodstamps (fortunately my children were small so I was able to make it stretch the month but we ate a lot of pasta), no housing assistance, so I had to live in a crappy little apartment in a shady part of town (it was all I could afford-and I didn't have to come up with first & last months rent plus a huge deposit). We had no TV, my car was running on USED motor oil so we walked almost everywhere we had to go-couldn't afford to spend what little money I had on gas or bus fare. I did laundry in the sink before the next check came so I could afford to get it all to the laundromat. I had to beg neighbors for diapers when my son ran out because he had diarreah and I couldn't afford to buy new ones. My kids had medical care, but I did not. I suffered with an abcess tooth until I found a dentist willing to work with me on payments. I hated grocery shopping because of the scornful glares I'd get from strangers. People staring into my cart to see what I'd bought. I couldn't get a bank account because I didn't have enough money to cover the monthly minimum, so I had to go to the store to get money orders to pay my bills. The remainder of the cash I had to keep on hand-it's disenhartening to realize you have $83 to get thru the month on-since food stamps doesn't buy non-food items. I wanted to work-I'd worked since I was 15, but I could not afford clothing to wear to an interview, much less day care. (also try finding day care for an infant). I got a very, very lucky break-my caseworker knew I was smart and had a work history, so I was offered a temporary job and I'd get day care assistance. Of course, the income counted against the food stamps, but at least I was able to pay every bill every month. From there I worked my way up the ladder (thanks to my work experience backround) and am where I am today-back into solidly middle class. I did know a few people who gamed the system-but that was the exception. And let me tell you-that gaming doesn't lead to a comfy life-they STILL live on less than 15K a year. As to having kids-yes-that is a BIG problem-made worse by the fact that access to birth control has been made virtually impossible in all but the most populous areas. (a different soap box). I was lucky that I had had a very strong backround-I was able to make that time on welfare temporary-but I was almost beaten by the system, and let me tell you, it's easy to fall into that trap, especially if you know of no other life. No one extends a hand to the destitute. There may be one or two people who make a brief offer-but they're burnt out so fast-and there are so many to try to help, it's overwhelming. I tell you, I even had a dentist chastize me loudly because we were 10 minutes late to the appointment. In front of the entire lobby he berated me-saying that I was lucky that he was even seeing my kids-he was taking a loss by seeing welfare patients. And the time I was on jury duty-and in the jury room the discussion about the defendant...the jurors were already convicting him because he got food stamps so he must be a criminal (he was eventually convicted, but only because the evidence was overwhelming) and when I told this group that I also got food stamps, they were shocked-I didn't fit the profile. (why, because I was clean and educated?) Sorry for the rant, my 2 cents. I just want to say that unless you've been there, you cannot imagine what it is like to be impoverished and downtrodden.

Thanks for your input. I'll try to answer all your questions. - My husband is her biological father. He grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father who taught him nothing but how to drink. DH had to learn things on his own and the hard way. His intentions were only to show her different ways on how to do things but it backfired. Surprisingly, they are very close and he does EVERYTHING for her. He feels I should stay out of it cuz the counsellor at the Crisis Intervention place said we were probably controlling. She needs to make her own decisions to be more confident. - She does have an IEP. She got it when she first started high school (French school). She transferred to an English high school in the 11th grade and is doing a lot better. She's an A student. - School counsellor is the one who called me about a month ago cuz daughter had a panic attack at school (not her first). Counsellor recommended that she see a doctor. Counsellor is the one who mentioned to daughter about home schooling, although she agreed with me when I voiced my concerns about her doing that cuz she'd be too isolated and that it's better that she attends school whenever she can. - About 2 years ago, we "forced" her into therapy cuz we could see she was getting depressed and needed help. Therapist there said we should "make" her go to school. It didn't work cuz we forced her into it and she didn't open up. A person has to WANT help. She WANTS it now, which is a good sign. She went to the Crisis place on her own. - The school counsellor told me that we would keep in close contact about my daughter's situation. She told all my daughter's teachers that she was going through health and home issues. All the teachers are being very supportive towards her. Two weeks ago, I called the counsellor to give her an update (daughter went to Crisis and started therapy - tomorrow is her 2nd sessioon), I'm still WAITING for her to get back to me after leaving 2 messages! - At parent/teacher night, parents meet with each individual teacher privately to discuss the progress of their child. This would be the only opportune time to meet cuz it's very hard to set up an appointment with them. Seems there's no time that's good for anybody cuz of time restraints. Some parent/teacher interview take 20 minutes. - The "course outline throughout the semester" that you mentioned is done the first week of school through printout material that parents have to sign and return to the teacher. - Hubby is really trying to change his ways. Daughter even mentioned she's noticing a change. It's got to the point where he's scared to say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing right now cuz she's so fragile. - The bullying she experienced in elementary school wasn't a decade ago. It was in grades 6,7, and 8. When she was accessed for anxiety by a psychologist and his team in the summer before 9th grade, they said that it was a great cause to her anxiety because of the low self-esteem, etc. Daughter has a hard time to let it go cuz she has a lot of anger about it. The counsellor at the Crisis place told her that she's living in the past and in the future (cuz daughter has all these goals she's working towards) and is NOT living in the present and taking care of herself. I've decided that I will mention to her teachers exactly about what is going on with her... reason for her absence, therapy, etc. Just to make them aware of it so they know. There's really no big discussion about it with them, just a mention. If they wish to discuss matters further, then maybe they could make the time for a meeting. Anxiety and agorophobia is in the family too. A lot of people don't truly understand what anxiety/panic attacks are all about.

This is the classic damage that happens to children from divorce. This is why its so important for parents to EXPLAIN TO KIDS why things are happening. kids tend to blame themselves for everything around them because at their age they cannot grasp reality and societies ways of life. Thank God my husband always explains to his kids. WHy he left their mother, why he cannot go back with her. He always explains. There is alot of facts missing from your explaination. There are many reasons a father could have left. One usual reason is the deep seeded hate for the ex wife. And the exwife causing him grief. She may have put a restraining order on him. He couldnt' stand seeing her while picking up and dropping of his daughter. Second. the amount of child support was so heavy he needed to get a better job to support his daughter. If that was so, they yes, he would leave the support for teh benefit of his daughter. Third, he may have been depressed. I know my husband was depressed because he felt at the time of the divorce, being a failure as a husband and a father. He felt he couldnt' fix the situation and left for the benefit of his kids. But he didn't leave the province or state. But he still left and his kids did blame themselves for a while. What this man did wrong was that he did not explain to his daughter that he is leaving not because of her. He needs to leave for _______explaination. It should have been given to your friend. That way she would not have this complex of selfblame, less worth and so. ITs so IMPORTANT. Unfortunately, the damage is done. But i honestly think, she should meet with her dad and confront him with her feelings. Tell him off the bat that she doesnt want to lose the relationship she has with him BUT she has long lingering questions and feelings of the past. She is an adult and has the right for answers. He will speak with her because she is not a child anymore. i have to be honest. What i've noticed is that men just dont seem to see the same things woman do. My father also moved on and doesnt' speak anymore to us since he remarried. He speaks with me on the phone and now is trying to have a relationship. I've been invited this weekend to his house. I know whatever didn't happen in the past is long gone. He was never much of a father to me. I had alot of resentment and hate for him. Felt neglected, not good enough. But overcame it by delving into my environment and friends and talking my feelings out. But what helped me the most was my confrontation with him. It was heated and loud and alot of emotions poured out. But that helped me. Screaming at him and telling him he wasnt' there for me while i grew up helped me. I felt a closure of somesort. And from that point i moved on with my life. i finally married and have a child ofmy own. Your friend needs to speak with her dad. She must on this, or she will never get over her feelings. Regardless of how much counseling is done.