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khandi_gw

Mother Daughter Conflicts

khandi
15 years ago

An ex-friend of mine (I'll call her Ann) told me when we first met and we were both newly married with babies that she didn't get along with her mother at all. In fact, she said the reason her parents divorced was because her mother would "freak" out often.

Fast forward... Ann has two kids (2 and 3) and her father lives with them. Father tells Ann that she has no patience with her kids, etc. Whenever I was visiting, I found that she had a lot of patience. But then... there were SEVERAL times that I appeared at her door and heard her screaming hysterically at the kids. Twice at my own daughter while she was babysitting her!

Fast forward again... Today, she is divorced from her husband and her daughter (15) is EXACTLY like her. Ann is like her mother, and Ann's daughter is exactly like her! The 15 year old daughter has trouble socializing and keeping friends because of her outbursts. She tends to get involved in other people's business by freaking out at them and starting gossip.

It's kinda weird how this "character trait" has followed mother and daughter over 2 generations. Ann and her daughter have tried counselling, but it didn't work. She's freaked out at her daughter so many times for actually stupid reasons. Has even kicked her out of the house! Her daughter is in the 10th grade and has received the highest award for academic excellence in all her classes for 2 years in a row! She doesn't smoke, drink, or do drugs. They tend to "freak out" at each other all the time. Daughter tells her friends that her mom is crazy! The ex-husband has MS and Ann has some how "polluted" her kids' heads with stuff about their dad. How he was a nuissance, irritating, etc. That they'd had enough of him! He's got MS for goodness sakes!

The daughter is very smart academically, but lacks social intelligence. Like her mother. And both have little friends because they tend to stab people in the back too often.

Sometimes we see in others things that we fail to see in ourselves.

My husband tells me that I'm just like my dad, and I tell him that he's just like his mother. LOL Ironically, he will say things about his mother that really bugs him (how stubborn she is, doesn't really listen when you talk, etc.). That's when I tell him that he's the same way and now he knows what I go through with him! LOL

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