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I hate Mothers Day

9 years ago

I wonder sometimes if I'm the only one in the world to feel this way. I am a mother of 4 adult children. I am far from being the perfect person or even mother, but I can honestly say that I've devoted my life to them. They were always my first priority and having come from a very poor, large family myself where no one got any real individual attention, I made sure that my children got that attention from me. I encouraged them to do well in school and be involved in activities and always praised them (something else I didn't get as a child) and put all 4 of them thru college, an opportunity I never had. So now that they're grown and have accomplished so much and I'm very proud of them, I just expect a small token of appreciation on Mothers Day and I never get it or get very little and it's usually late. I have friends who abandoned their children at one time or another and they are treated better than me. Trust me, I'm not looking for dinner or even flowers, I don't even want my kids to spend $ on me. It's about the effort. Honestly, just a cheap card would be fine with me, or maybe a cup of coffee. Knowing every year I'm going to be crying by the end of the day, I just hate this day with a passion. I know I'm a good mom, actually an awesome mom. I didn't have a very good mom, to this day she barely gives me the time of day and never says thank you to me for anything I do for her, and I still send her a card. I don't want to talk to them about it because then I feel selfish and it's embarrassing. My children are all very intelligent successful people, it's not like they don't know what's right and they were certainly taught better. I just don't get it and I'm so tired of being sad on a day that I'm supposed to be recognized.

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Comments (4)

sushipup1
9 years ago
I hate to be blunt, but it's time for you to put on your big-girl panties and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have made your happiness in the world dependent on your expectations of other people. It doesn't work that way.
chickadee4
9 years ago
I have a few friends who are not moms.
I tell them happy Women's day in recognition of their warmth, and compassion . Every day is Mother's Day!

My mom sucks.
Nope not giving the dirty details but I realized only I can make myself happy.
Order yourself dark truffles
Schedule a spa day.
Take an evening class .
Do things that make you smile.
I for sure did not sit at the phone or mailbox yesterday.
My kids called and wrote earlier in the week since two were working Sunday.
My third took the three hour train ride so I made him marinated pork tenderloins and a chocolate torte. I never expect my family to treat me as a queen cause frankly it would drive me bonkers.

Wake up smell the coffee and live.
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ellendi
9 years ago
I'm late in responding so I hope you do check back. It is sad that you are not recognized. I plan on both my daughters, when possible, to be with me and go out to dinner. Interestingly, my oldest said that many of her friends were not going to see their mothers. I told her I thought that was horrible!

If your kids can't think of seeing you on their own, why not invite them to you? As you mentioned you were a good mom and probably never put yourself first. As a result your kids probably feel you are okay with not getting recognition.

Make a plan for next year. Talk about it with your kids way in advance. Let them know how much it would mean to you to have them all together on Mother's Day. Don't mention how bad you felt not being recognized.

It's about starting a new tradition that means something to you.
Karen10125
Original Author
9 years ago
thanks to all of you for the advice and honesty. I really do appreciate it

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