I wanted to give an update, and thank everyone again for their thoughts and prayers for my mom. She seems to have done a full recovery. I call her the energizer bunny, she just keeps going, and going.... If you could all see how utterly frail she is, you could really appreciate that! Anyway, she seems none the worse for wear, and I expect her to see her 92nd birthday in April. ;) I would have posted sooner, but a week ago this last Monday, my best friend (the one I mentioned in this thread) called to say her oldest son was at the ER. He had passed away suddenly at the young age of 39. So needless to say, my life was put on hold til a couple days ago. I have not seen my sister much, which has been good. Some of the things I got out of this thread, and in particular the Gray Rock link, will follow. I highly recommend reading the comments at the end of that article, I got as much out of them (and am still reading) as I did the actual article. This is what I have come away with so far. 1. One reason I have responded to my sister in the past when I shouldn't have, has been pride. She has always lorded over me, in my mothers own words. And I suppose a certain part of me just doesn't want to let her have the last word. I'm not some dumb little sister, though she can often treat me as such. And has for most of my life. So, there's one thing I have recognized, admitted, and need to work on. 2. There is a part of her that appears totally normal. So much so, that I find it really hard not to hold her to the same rules that every one else has to follow. She can definitely discern right and wrong at times, and she can realize there are consequences to actions. Which is why I didn't just give her the silver. I wanted her to understand she had given them away. That she can't go through life throwing temper tantrums one minute and then be sorry and expect to be bailed out of whatever mess she made during previous said temper tantrum. Whether it was wrong or right what I did doesn't matter now, it's over. But she did contact me after the fact and ask if she could have one of two certain spoons. These were not with the set, and I had repeatedly offered her one at the time but she had declined. She acknowledged that I was not bound to give them to her, and if I chose not to she would understand. So see, she does "get" stuff. And for the record, I did give her one, and the one I thought she'd like most. She seemed really happy, as it was a really neat spoon. 3. Part of my problem is, I wear my heart on my sleeve. That only sets me up for more trouble and confrontations. I am not used to having to guard my words. This is something that is going to take some work, I am an open person by nature. So it's a real mental exercise to calculate my words. I'm working on it. But it doesn't help that she picks up on my "quietness"....... I don't know that all this will work quite like it did for others, but I definitely got some help out of it. See, she wants a relationship with me to some degree, so I don't see her just going away after she gets" bored". Maybe more so in anger or frustration because she will sense I don't really want to be her "friend". Which I hate. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it almost seems inevitable. I love her, and desperately wish we could have had a real relationship. But, that was not to be. Thank you again for all your thoughts and suggestions and links and prayers and well wishes. It never ceases to amaze me how caring some people can be to a complete stranger. :)

Would you like some fluff? I need fluff in my life from time to time. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and read. I surely do not want something heavy at 3 a.m. I just want something to occupy my mind for 30 minutes. I’ve read 2 books by Susan Elia McNeal, Mr. Churchill’s Secretary and Princess Elizabeth’s Spy. Strong female protagonist and a little WWII history too. While we were in Italy, I read The Great Passage by Shion Miura, a novel about the compilation of a Japanese dictionary from the editor’s point of view. On one train, we were seated across a table from a Japanese publisher and his wife. I was so excited to talk to him about The Great Passage. His English was better than my Japanese but not good enough to converse about a book. If you like words, I think you’ll be intrigued by The Great Passage.

I've always liked "Renovating Old Houses" by Nash and "Renovation" by Litchfield.

There are various sources out there. I don't find them to be too technical but then my experience is different from yours. You might want to check them at a library or similar before purchasing. Should all be available through Amazon. Ken Druse - Making More Plants Henry Kock - Growing Trees From Seed Michael Dirr - Reference Manual of Woody Plant Propagation