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freezetag

Bad Language / Behavior

freezetag
16 years ago

I don't know how to explain dh's relatives' behavior to my kids. They have a habit of using offensive slang words to describe people. They know I am offended by this, and in the past have avoided doing so around me. Yesterday, though, they were at my house, sitting around the table talking, and some words were used that I found really inappropriate, especially since my 5 year old was there sitting on my lap. I just glared, got up and left the room with my daughter, thinking that would send a pretty clear message. As they were leaving, I walked them to the door to tell them good-bye, and out came a different (equally offensive) word. To stop the converstion, I felt that I had to explain to them that on our block there is a family of the ethnicity that the word refers to. My kids play with theirs, and I would be horrified if my kids ever used that word, let alone around this family! My daughter could tell that I was upset, and had a lot of questions after they left. She had picked up that they were using bad words, and while I want her to understand that their behavior was bad, I don't want her to think of them as "bad people". It seems like this is a hard concept for little ones, though - that people who are basically OK can sometimes have serious character flaws.

Just not sure how to handle this - I have turned my head when the relatives have "slipped" in the past. As my kids get older, though, it bothers me more to ignore it. I used to just make a point of discussing it with the kids later, but what if it's not just a slipped word, but a 10 minute conversation? Leave the area? Ask to change the subject? Tell them they are rude and offensive? (just kidding) I can't avoid them - we live close and attend the same church, schools, etc. I am sure it will happen again, and want to be prepared to handle it better. Any helpful advice?

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