Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.... And a kind word is better spoken than left in thought only. I've stopped and complimented gardeners before. I've had people stop at my house too; it always puts a bounce in my step the rest of the week. I got a start on many of my old-fashioned perennials from an elderly neighbor 25 years ago at my starter home. I was a newlywed and working on establishing a veggie patch and flowers in my first house. Mrs. Foxwell walked down to offer advice and starts from her garden. She gave me bee balm and larkspur and irises. She continued to garden, against her children's advice, after her mastectomy. My only advice to her was to wear two pairs of gloves (surgical gloves under her garden gloves) to prevent infection. She was a kind and generous person. I say "was" as she was in her 80's 25 years ago and I moved from that town 15 years ago. I gently suggest that you take a card and/or a bunch of posies to the house of the master gardener. If she has passed on, her husband will be touched by your kindness and memory of his wife's creativity (even if it touches him to tears, it is good; memories are precious). If she is still with us but in frail health the visit will be appreciated. Every time I see a bee balm start to open I hear Mrs. Foxwell saying..."see, its the Lord's plant, the crown on his head opening to the flower of redemption." Bee balm flowers do resemble a head with a "crown" as the flower petals start to emerge. I am continuing her legacy; my niece and her friends stopped by my house after we spent most of the day a a lavender festival. I toured the girls around the yard and then gave them slips of oregano, bee balm, thyme, pineapple mint; seeds from money plant, cilantro, and larkspur; and cuttings of lavender. One of the girls went to offer me some money and I declined; saying gardening should be community in the old sense of the word. We share with each other; no sense of a favor given or a favor owed. We are community; we share.

@tishtoshnm: Oh hun, I don't split the wood with a maul, I use a 3-ton, PTO hydraulic woodsplitter! We burn 5 to 6 full cords every year and if I had to use a maul we'd have frozen to death years ago! Remember, the very first thing on my list of DH's jobs was keeping the d*** cars and machines running, and that includes the woodsplitter and its power supply. I probably glossed over it a bit in my post above, but we had some really hard times over chores in our early years, too. I blush to remember quite how grumpy, cranky and just plain, b**chy I was about it. Sometimes (but more often not, I fear) with justification. Like when the above-mentioned woodsplitter was often on the fritz for months on end preventing me from getting the wood done in time for good seasoning. Of course, I could have hired someone to either bring the wood (not split the way I would have wanted it) or to fix the wretched machine (not done the way he would have done it) but instead we squabbled over it, endlessly. Ex: When we married we were both wood-burners. I was horrified to discover that my DH was content to dig wet wood out of the snow and throw it hissing and dripping on to a smoldering fire. I need to have wood stacked up two or three years in advance to feel secure. I needed to have wood separated by species so I could match the BTU-load to the heating demand of the day's weather. Because I have small hands, I needed to have the wood split into relatively small sizes so I could pick up a log in one hand and load it safely. I needed to have dry kindling in the house every morning to re-kindle the fire. I am terrified of chimney fires so I need the chimney swept regularly (multiple times per burning season). I get great psychic comfort from neatly filled woodricks. I also was at home all day in a house heated ONLY with wood, while he was away in an overheated office. (Once he began working at home, the need for dry wood seem to be driven home to him for some reason. Hah!) Finally, it dawned on me, or maybe desperation took over, and I took command of the fuel issues. (Except for maintenance of the machines.) And Peace finally reigned in our household on this topic. But I really did have to get over my own embarrassment that I had taken over this "masculine" task. I used to be quite cagey about revealing who actually did the wood work in my family. What I learned from this was that I could get it all done, alone, and done in the way that made me happy. (Except for fixing the machines, which is still an issue.) And it taught me that I would be able to continue to live here if I was left living here alone. (Except for fixing the machines, of course.) We gradually started to practice a regime of "whoever is bugged the most about something, does it. And for the rest, who cares?" Not elegant, but practical and it certainly makes for a calmer, more generous and loving household. And that, over multiple decades, is pure gold. L. PS: There are different weights of splitting mauls, you should try more than one if you have to do it by hand, as I did before I married Machine-Man. Handle lengths also make a big difference, too.

Erika, Sorry. Forgot this is a first time for you. What Carol said is exactly right. I was "leading you" toward BWB (or HWB...same thing) since it doesn't require a pressure canner. Fill a very large kettle about 1/2 full of water and start heating (medium temp or so). In Annie's recipe, from the point where it says "pour into hot jars..." You would fill your jars to about 1/2" from the top, put on a lid and ring (no need to really crank down hard here, just put the lid on like you would something stored in the fridge) and place in the kettle. Use a rack of some kind or a folded dish towel towel in the bottom to keep the jars from actually sitting on the bottom. Yes, it's fine, it won't burn sitting in all that water. Just seems odd. When all your jars are in there, you need to add enough water to cover the tops of the jars by an inch or two and have room for it to boil gently (mine barely makes it in a 12 qt. stockpot). Crank up the burner and bring to a boil. As soon as it starts to boil, start timing.... 15 min./pints or 20 min./quarts. I usually turn the burner down just a little here so it doesn't boil over and flood my stove, but it has to keep boiling. This process will seal your jars and make them safe to store unrefrigerated. The extra vinegar doesn't bother me a bit!! LOL Pressure canning is a another adventure entirely!! Deanna

Well I totally agree with Organic, when the child is in your care and you organise a babysitter then that is your business and not the other parents'. The thought of informing BM has never even crossed our mind! And she doesn't ring us about her babysitters either, which is her right. We expect her to look after the kids properly when they are with her, and it is her judgement whether this or that person is ok to have as a babysitter. And if that person is not to our liking than it's stiff sh*t for us really. We actually had a situation a couple of years ago when BM hung out with a bunch of feral people. She got them to look after the skids quite a lot at one stage, and the skids used to dread going to their house because it was dirty and they'd have to sleep on the floor with a thin blanket that stunk like pee. And no I'm not exaggerating.. So FDH offered BM that we can always look after the skids when need be, and we are only 10 mins up the road so it's the same time as to drive to the ferals' place. But noooo, BM was in control of 'her' time and she'd be damned if she'd give us extra time for free, THAT was NEVER going to happen! Very frustrating but you can't do a thing about it. When the skids are with her it's her business. And in Loves case they are NOT dealing with 2 normal parents, BM is a mess, and to inform her is actually endangering SS and the babysitter. That poor girl doesn't need to be harassed by crazy BM. Most of us are here because we are not dealing with a normal parent, otherwise why hang around here if things are fine and both parents are normal? Love don't give BM the babysitters number, no way! BM can ring you guys if there's an emergency and maybe SS can ring her before you guys go, so he's had his phonecall to his mum for the day. And I don't think it's normal she talks to him that much, our BM does the same, exactly the same. She'll neglect the kids when they are with her (used to leave them home alone, go on the piss, promise them heaven but always have a headache when it's crunchtime, keep them out of school, not take them to sports etc etc). But oh boy when they are with us! Constant phonecalls to check if they are ok (it being such a risk to be with us) and making sure we'd take them to sports otherwise she'll come and pick them up herself (MOTY), blabla etc etc. It is controlling and disturbing and I'm frustrated on your behalf that you guys are harassed by this woman so much that it interferes with your normal everyday life. Hang in there, big hug