I don't know what to say to help you other than continue to try and contact her. Write a letter and send it. Don't put blame anywhere, just that you want to talk to her and figure out how to make things better. Keep calling, keep writing, just don't stalk. Try calling once daily, then e-mail every other day or so...something like that. My step son was brainwashed by his BM- the school even said so. It is a little different because he was only 8 years old at the time. BM would sometimes show with my ss to exchange custody to my husband and my ss would refuse to go with my husband. My husband kept showing up, no matter what. He kept calling, in an appropriate manner, even though they would change their number or not answer the phone- sometimes answer and hang up on him. In the long run, it worked out well for my husband. Now, when my ss begins feelings like we don't want him around, we remind him about his dad always showing up for visitation and that will never change. His dad (and I) will always 'show up' or always want him around because that is what fathers and families do. Just keep trying- some of this could be her age she wanting to believe in her father- who knows, but keep trying to talk to her. Not to mention, she may need some help with college and money so it may be she has to contact you for help at some point in the future.

Colleenoz, I am actually considering that. My youngest daughter, who lives locally and stays in good relationship with me has chosen to not speak about her sister. I've actually changed my will. Why leave something to someone who wants nothing to do with you? It used to hurt a lot, but nothing hurt worse than my husband's death. I wanted to die. I was so lost. Why did my older daughter call the police to get her dollhouse? I have no idea. I will say this, and many people may be very critical of this... The dollhouse was in our shed. My husband and I woke up early that morning and I had this overwhelming feeling (and angel?) that said 'take the dollhouse out of the shed and put it in your car.' She hadn't even asked for it. My husband put it in the car, which was warming up (right after Christmas, it was cold and had snowed). We were cleaning off the car when two police cars showed up. She pulled across the street with her boyfriend and stood at the side of the road smiling at us like the cat that ate the canary. The officers figured the boyfriend was the problem, and said she wanted something from the shed. I told them that clearly my husband and I were leaving and she could have anything she wanted from the shed. We drove away with the dollhouse in the back seat. I swear, as God is my witness, I have no idea why I thought something was going to happen surrounding that stupid dollhouse, but within 20 minutes of my hubby putting it in our car she was there. We drove away and she started blowing up my phone. She was so angry. Three years later I saved that dollhouse from the fire and sent it to her. She was not grateful. I was 19 when she was born, and I did everything in my power to raise her as an independent woman, well educated, braces three times, so so much more. My mother used to tell me "You are so much better a mother to your three than I ever was to you." My daughters are not married and have no children. My son has been married over ten years and has two children- 7 and 4 years old. Since my husband's suicide he has left the family and will not let me see the children. He lives three minutes from my house. This is why I finally had to start over. I have, however found out I have many friends in similar circumstances. Where did we go wrong? I gave them everything!

It's been close to 4 years from where this all started. The disrespect from my grown son escalated to the point where I told him to leave. His anger was out of control. My ex and I were separated due to his extra marital affairs. I felt I had to jolt him back to reality but instead he went to live with his father which made things worse. I kept the doors open, texting him often, telling him I love him and telling him that I didn't want this to be a permanent thing but his anger towards me got worse. Lashed out at me towards household things that "belonged to his father". Screamed and cursed at me. Many remarks about "this is my fathers house". Telling me that I was the reason for his anger. And with each explosion, I still kept the doors open. The final straw for me was a text that he sent me saying that "im sorry that you damaged me but I will no longer be controlled and manipulated". Those words cut me so deep. I still can't get past it. I was the mother who went to extremes to make sure my kids were never damaged emotionally. The mother who wanted my kids to always see both parents sitting in the stands at their games to have that memory forever, not knowing that I made their father go to the game. The mother who protected them from knowing of their fathers first affair because I thought it was a mistake and these kids shouldn't lose respect for their dad or look at him badly. I wanted them to be proud of their parents. I would have stayed in a loveless marriage so they would always feel safe and always feel like they had a home base. And he says those words to me? I damaged him. At that point I wasn't taking anymore. All communication stopped. I thought he's not hearing from me now he will realized what he has said and done and I thought the lightbulb will go on and then he will come back and tell me he is so sorrry for that and all the undeserved disrespect. One month later I get a happy birthday text. I dont respond. The next month Merry Christmas. Again I dont respond. The remorse and apology never comes. Eventually the pleasantry text continue for both of us. Only holidays. Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday but nothing on Mothers Day. Obviously, everyone on this post understands that hurt. The day to celebrate the person who raised you, loved you, took care of you, gave you a good life and I get nothing. That's a hurt beyond words. This is the son that I was so close to. Always close to. Never could have imagined this happening. I miss my son but I feel like he needs to come back to me. I can forgive him but I can't forgive if hes not sorry and if he thinks what he did was acceptable. I won't allow him to treat me that way. At this point I feel like this is the way it is and the way it will be and I will never stop loving him in my heart and will never stop hurting in my heart.

I disinherited my son after he returned Christmas cards and money and refused contact over the years. I sent him a copy of the will on Fathers day, letting him know that in my view our relationship or lack thereof, has come to this point. I'm done, I'm though with being rejected. I believe in forgiveness, and the door could be opened again, but I won't do one way streets anymore. Yes, I also wanted to let him know how it feels to be disowned, while I'm still alive and no hope for change after the fact. There are practical considerations too. For years I've been enmeshed in the fantasy of how things could, should or ought to be. I've always been the one that is supposed to do 99% of the work, and prove myself. He is 37, that view was fine as a young adult, but I decided that something has to motivate him to finally grow up. I had an alcoholic parent, in my mid twenties I learned how to let go of my resentment and realize he did the best he could with what he had to work with. I'm not without fault, I keep trying to give him fatherly advice about paying off his credit card debt, getting a job with benefits and having health insurance. In hindsight, I should have kept quiet, instead of trying to pass on the wisdom my parents gave to me, or so I thought. Now, I would like to leave my estate to folks that actually make an effort to be part of my life and will be there for me when the time comes. I'll forgive my son, but others will get my estate.