I am looking for a book I can read that will help
me with support and some ideas to teach my 15 year
old son responsibility. He is a good kid with great
grades. Most of the fault with his lack of responsibility
is our fault. Because he has always made great grades
we would ask him to do chores etc--sometimes he would
do them. If not then they would get done by mom/dad..
Nautrally he got to where we would ask him a million
times to do something-then it was easier just for us
to do it. Now he does practically nothing besides what
HE wants to do....and has no responsibility and hubbie
is mad at him all the time. IT IS OUR FAULT and we see
this now....He's never HAD to be responsible! He doesn't
know how! I need a book to help us impliment this newly
learned responsibility the right way to a 15 year old
who doesn't understand why all of the sudden he has to
"do something". Any ideas/books that would help us
before it is too late would be appreciated. Thanks.

You should be doing nothing for your son which he can do for himself. That includes his laundry, tidy room, make bed, etc.

Don't start WWIII over this, don't criticize, be angry, etc.
Start out gently and slowly. Approach your son more as an adult asking for help since you and your husband work hard to keep a nice home and help him be successful in school. He will be more successful in college or wherever he goes if he learns to take care of himself and his surroundings.

I would not mention this now, but if he ever thinks he's going to drive, that is a privilege which has to be earned in whatever way you see fit.

Warning...it does use some pretty bad language. It's kind of implied that kids use really foul language when they argue with their parents....mine don't so I couldn't relate to that part, but I was able to overlook those words.