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How do children address you?
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Posted by michie (My Page) on Tue, Jan 15, 02 at 21:26
| My dd is 4 and when we're out and about doing activities, other children will often ask me what my name is. I feel that giving them my first name is too personal, yet telling them to call me Ms. So-and-So seems too formal. What do you all do? |
Follow-Up Postings:
RE: How do children address you?
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| My dd's friends (preteens) all call me Mrs. Bull. When she was younger, preschool age, the group of moms I ran with liked "Miss" and the first name, so I was "Miss Carlotta" to my dd's friends then. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| by my first name. I'd feel silly responding to Mrs by a 2 year old. They're not trying to be nosy or too personal, they're just establishing that everyone, including adults, have first names. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| I've always had my kids refer to my adult friends as "Miss" and the first name. I didn't grow up that way, but I liked it when I heard it, so I taught it. Most of my friends have done the same. So I'm usually Miss Stephanie. That was the case even before we moved to TN. Here, that's the norm. Never just a first name. So I guess it's a good thing my kids were used to it already. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| My son is 3. His close friends call me by my first name. The kids from his class who don't really know me, call me "Mrs. --". But lots of them just call me "Derek's Mom". I like all of them. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| My sons friends call me by my first name usually. Lately some of them have taken to jokingly calling me "Mom" because they spend so much time at my house! But I have always taught my son to address adults as Mr or Mrs So and So, unless the adult asks him to call them something else. I have noticed that most women prefer to be called by their first names. He address most of his friends Mom's as Mrs. "Jane" but still calls the Dads "Mr. Smith", for example. The children in our circle are all around 16 years old. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| I prefer to be called by my first name. I have taught my 5,7 year old to address adults as Mr.Mrs Lastname. Then if the adult says you can call me Firstname, they can call them whatever the adult says. My 2 year old is to little for that. When he asks someone thier name I intervene and ask the adult what they prefer to be called. I am all for respect, and I think it is respectful to call people what they WANT to be called. Mommabear |
RE: How do children address you?
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| I prefer to be called by my first name. I'm generally close to the other kid's parents, so it would be too wierd otherwise. My husband and I each kept our own names so I think it would also be confusing for kids -- I'm not a Mrs., (and I really don't like being called Mrs.), and I can't imagine making anyone call me Dr. when I'm done with my degree. |
RE: How do children address you?
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Miss or Mister and then the first name. I have also developed a habit of calling my friends by Miss or Mister "first name" because of the kids. It's strange, I used to have a friend named Becky, Now I have a a friend named "Miss Becky", she doesn't complain. I don't like for my kids to refer to any one that is not related to them as Uncle or Aunt So and So, either. So, if my sister is dating someone, they are not "Uncle first name", they are Mister "first name". And I correct them if they say differently.
Jainie |
RE: How do children address you?
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| I am called by my first name but as a child I always called friends parents by mr or mrs so and so unless they were really close friends then I called them Mom & Dad too. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| Good point, Jainie. I know people who have kids that call everyone aunt & uncle. I don't like it at all. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| Slightly OT: If someone is addressing a married couple, let's say Bob Smith and Mary Jones, should they be collectively addressed as "the Smiths", or as "Mr. Smith and Ms. (or Mrs). Jones? My brother has his kids calling me "Uncle Lee", but I'd have no problem with them just calling me "Lee". What do children usually address their stepparents as? |
RE: How do children address you?
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I know what I used to address my step-mother as ... "the enbodiment of evil". No, I actually called my step-parents by their first name, no Mr. no Ms..But, I was in my teens when they got re-married. I would never have called them Mom or Dad. I would have called my friends parents Mom or Dad before I did this. You know it's strange that this thread came up. When discussing my inlaws the other day, I referred to them as Mr. & Mrs. "Last Name". I never really call them anything, I suppose when I had to, I used a first name. I can't remember. Anyway, my girlfriend was awe struck by this. She said "You referr to you inlaws as Mr. & Mrs. Lastname?, I guess you aren't close enough to be on a first name basis."
Was I doing something wrong?
Jainie |
RE: How do children address you?
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| Lee, I am married but use Ms. because I kept my name. I feel that saying "the Smiths" is plain wrong. I am not a "Smith" so it should be "Mr. Smith and Ms. Jones". I know people hate this because even though everyone knows I kept my name, many people insist on using "The Smiths." I know that is easier for them but it's not my name! Jainie, I don't think you did anything wrong at all, but I, too, would assume that you weren't very close to them. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| Is "Mrs." only used for married women who change their last name to their husband's? I always thought "Ms." meant any female, "Miss" was for a single woman, and "Mrs." for a married woman. Correct? I was also curious as to why (1) there's no equivalent of "Miss" or "Mrs." for a man, and (2) why "Mrs." is pronounced "misses" - there's no "r" in there that I can see. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| Mrs. is for married women who change their names. The whole system is predicated on a very patriarchal kinship and social order whereby occupations designated names (Matt the Baker = Matt Baker), and women, who were confined to a domestic sphere were identified by the moniker of the closest male relative. When they married, the name was transferred from father to husband -- following PROPERTY law. I'm with Michie. It's not my name, and I don't like being called by it. I especially hate it when it's people I know and who know better, like my husband's wicked grandmother who continues to insist on sending cards to "Mr. and Mrs. His first and last name". |
RE: How do children address you?
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| My daughters friends call me 'Mrs Calvert'. The neighbourhood kids, ranging in age from 2years to about 15 years, call me by my first name. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| My first name is fine with me. Even though I just turned 30 I still don't feel old enough to be called Mrs. --. hahaha LOL Have a great day |
RE: How do children address you?
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| I often get "cori's mom" but we freely ask them to call us by our first names, our last names are different, and difficult to pronounce! But I have taught mine to use Miss/Mr and first name, only because they had problems pronouncing/remembering last names when they were younger. They overheard elders being called by first names, so all they had to do was add the Miss/Mr. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| I insist that all children call me "Mrs. X" I think it demonstrates respect and sets the stage for the hierarchy of respect that should exist between children and their elders (or actually anybody who is addressing someone older). Besides, it's polite. Finally, I LOVE being my husband's wife and I LOVE the fact that he GAVE me his name. I am proud to use it and even love to be called "Mrs. 'his first name' X." It certainly doesn't mean that I always defer to him, but I do think he's the head of the family. |
RE: How do children address you?
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| I preferred taching my chldren to use the formal address of Mrs. Soandso. They can't go wrong doing that. |
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