I am picturing a 45ish man sitting around with his buds,c racking a few cold ones, debating on what to buy for a friend's son's bar mitzvah....and one guy saying....did I ever show you what Pierre le doux ( or whatever) did for my bar mitzvah? and hauling out the shirt. he's not going to sell it! It will be worn and raved over and worn lots and lots in the next year.....then folded up and put with the momentos.....and what a momento it will be. No...I think naming the occasion is great....makes it very personal and apt to the occasion. After all.....this is a 13 year old kid receiving the shirt......and it's just a very cool shirt, not a shofar mounted on an onyx stand...it's for now....not 20 years from now. One of my grandson's got a $500 gift certificate to Best Buys from a couple of 30ish uncles who really remember what it is that young kids like.....couldn't be stashed, put on a shelf nor turned in....he just had to go and buy the toys of his choice!! Linda C

Hey Lisa ~ It's good to "see" you ;o) We're going to a Bat Mitzvah in late September and I was just discussing our attire this past weekend with my cousin. She's the grandma of the Bat Mitzvah girl and is very "up" on what to do and what not to do (BTW, she's Conservative and keeps kosher). I was showing her the dress I had ordered for the event, which is sleeveless. I told her I would be getting a lightweight shrug to wear over the dress. She thought I was wearing a shrug because of the temple service, and she said that I didn't have to wear anything over the sleeveless dress because it was in a Reform temple. I told her that I was planning on wearing a shrug because I would feel more comfortable in a little cover-up because sleeveless might be pushing it because of my age and (ahem) arms LOL. We also discussed whether or not it would be a hose or no-hose day. She's even going to go bare-legged if it's hot, and believe me, if she can go bare-legged I know it's "correct". She knows her etiquette. You can certainly wear a casual skirt and no hose. Enjoy! Your son has really grown and he is absolutely adorable!

OOOh, an excuse to ventilate. What do you think about these real world experiences? 1. The wedding invitation encourages you to go to couple's website. You know that the couple's combined gross income is $550,000. The website asks guests to bring envelopes of money (to be placed in a thoughtfully provided box at the reception). After the wedding, you receive a postcard photo of bride in her gown with a two line thank you. You are also encouraged to see the couple's wedding website, which contains 30 (or so) photos of the bride and a few of the bride and groom, but none of everyone else. At the reception, bride's family on one side, groom's on another, and a demilitarized zone of mutual friends in between. 2. Or the bride and groom send out gold, engraved, book-length invitations, with tassels, instructions, registry referrals, and lodging references. You go to the registry and find 30 pages of items distributed across four vendors. You know couple brings down $600,000 a year, because they discuss this at dinner one night, and bride and groom are not spring chickens. 3. and dittos to kswl:Re: photos.... It is more like a photo shoot for the bride than commemorative photos being taken of an occasion. And it takes so long people wait up to two hours before the wedding party appears at the reception, I guess that explains why they don't have receiving lines, people won't wait that lo g ----and shouldn't----to get Into the reception. I say take the pictures beforehand if you're going to make a production out of it... Do a dress rehearsal with all the clothes, then get out of the ceremony and go straight to the reception. Add to that, the when the DJ announces the wedding party names as everyone marches in, he gets the name of the father of the bride wrong. I could go on and on, but thinking about more of the details has just reminded me that I have bread dough to punch down!

I was recently remarried, and my wedding was exactly what my husband and I had hoped it would be. For us, being with our immediate families was the most important thing, so we planned a wedding on the East Coast (we live in California) at a time when all of our brothers & sisters could attend. There were 35, including about 12 nieces and nephews. Our wedding was held at a Victorian Bed & Breakfast near DH's mother's assisted living facility so that she could attend. We reserved the entire B&B, had the ceremony outside on the patio, and had wine and hors d'oeuvres on the large porch of the house. We had a classical guitarist play during the ceremony and the cocktail hour. Dinner was supposed to be back on the patio, but thunderstorms threatened so our caterer quickly set up the dining room and a smaller adjacent room for all of us. We had an iPod programmed with a playlist of music to play in the parlor for our first dance, which was a swing dance. After that, no one really wanted to dance, but that was fine. We had cake on the porch (no thunderstorms after all!) We didn't have attendants, although I asked my 2 teenage sons to escort my mother down the aisle, and DH's son escorted DH's mother. I wore a simple white dress (Craig's List) and DH wore a white jacket. I bought flowers at a wholesale florist and put them together with a freelance florist (Craig's List again). I had a bouquet, DH and my father had a boutonnière, and our mothers had small corsages. My young nephews passed out wedding bubble tubes which our guests blew after the ceremony. I cringe when people clap after ceremonies, and walking through a cloud of bubbles was one of the highlights of the evening. DH spent a lot of time searching for a photographer, which is easy (but time-consuming) to do now that so many post their portfolios on the web. We were so happy with how unobtrusive the photographer was, and looking at the photos never fails to warm our hearts. It was hard to find a venue from across the country, but once we settled on the venue everything else just fell into place. Oh, we also made our own wedding invitations. My parents weren't involved in the planning but contributed by purchasing the wine and champagne (they offered, we gratefully accepted). Best of luck to your D on her wedding - have her focus on what's most important to her, as the possibilities for a happy wedding are almost endless.