My 15 year old daughter, honor student, all around good kid, usually stays at home, plays on her computer, and texts was caught shoplifting a tank top from JCPenney's. She and a friend (one who I know both the child and the mother) were dropped off at the mall by the girl's mother (against my rules-we do not hang out in the mall because of the trouble makers that hang out there) for an hour while the mother took care of some other things before meeting them to get her nails done. Anyway, the girls decided that taking a bra and a tank top (which my daughter already owns-so I don't understand why she took that) into the fitting room and slipping it into their bag was a good idea.
Needless to say, they got caught. The other girl texted her mom who was at the mall by then and she went to pick them up. Security decided not to press charges and released them to the mom. Then they called us and told us what had happened. Our daughter called us after they released them and told us what had happened. I almost died!
Anyway, our daughter admitted to the whole thing, did not place blame on her friend, and has accepted our punishment without argument.
Our punishment was loss of the computer, her cell phone, and the house phone. She is not allowed out except for school or if we are with her. She is not allowed to have contact with her friend (who told her mother on the way home that she had shoplifted once before). We have also told her she must write an apology/confession letter to JCPenney, the other girl's mother, and to us. She has one week to get all three done. She has agreed to all of our punishments. My question is have we done enough? Or is there something else we need to add? Her grades are great. She is a respectful kid and this is the first real trouble she has gotten into. I know she is remorseful. When we told her grandmothers, she was a mess. So, have we done enough?

Thank you for all of you feedback and suggestions.

Vickey-MN

What lessons do you think your daughter has learnt ?

You said she was remorseful, and took her punishments, I think she has acted like a real lady. I am sure it was impulsive, as someone else said.

There has been a lot of talk in the press about how young people's brains dont fully mature until they are about 25. Which means their emotional section of the brain is often very separate from their logic section.

How long are these punishments to last for ?

I think you should keep in mind that its the behaviour of your daughter (shoplifting) that you are upset with, and that you still love your daughter, and she is treasured.

If she is anything like my children, I am sure she is just heartbroken and feels aweful. Give her a hug and tell her you love her.

I am sure she has learnt a valuable lesson over this.

It is quite common, I think. My neices did the same thing, and they where actually taken to the local police station, and they police phoned my brother ! They only did it once !

Popi