Return to the Parents Forum
| Post a Follow-Up
Daughter's friend
| | |
Posted by cornflakegirl (My Page) on Wed, Jan 23, 08 at 12:16
| I have some serious misgivings about my 15 y/o daughter's friend. I took D shopping this weekend for a gift for her friend's B-day sleepover. I suggested all kinds of appropriate things, like jewelry, books, cd's. My D said that her friend liked nothing like those things and when I asked what she was into, she said the internet and that was basically it. I've met the girl and she seemed nice, but on a whim I decided to look and see if she had a my space page. She does and it is private but what is public is disturbing. Her tag line is "go F yourself and die"!. This girl is my daughter's best friend. I don't know what to do with this but I am very concerned. Has anyone had a similar experience? |
Follow-Up Postings:
RE: Daughter's friend
| | |
| First, I have a teenage daughter with myspace. I've seen a lot of pages (all my nieces & nephews have one) and it's common for them to write things like that, they are trying to get a reaction or 'express' themselves. I think there are better ways that doing THAT. If I were you, I would talk to your daughter. I've told my son, when he posted a marijuana background because he wanted to be cool, that people that see his page are going to judge him based on what he puts there. He didn't think it was a big deal. Dr. Phil did a show on this not long ago because girls were posting pictures of themselves, drunk and passed out. Kids don't always realize that what they are doing is 'expressing' to the world that this is who they are. Or at least who they will be seen as. (it's even more pathetic when grown ups put tag lines like that and I have seen some that do) I drove my daughter and a few of her friends to a concert. I kept quiet and listened to them talk. One talked about having sex, one talked about sneaking out of her bedroom window. I dropped them off at the concert and came back to get them, took them home and the next day, had a talk with my daughter. She told me that they were just all talk, trying to sound big. I told her whether it was true or not, that is how they want me to see them? They know a parent is in the car and can hear them so that is what they want me to think about them? (they weren't whispering). She thought about it and within a few weeks, she wasn't talking to one of them. She hardly sees the other one. The one that didn't say anything is now her best friend and comes over. I don't know if what they were saying is true or not but it shows a lack of respect for themselves to behave that way. I told my daughter that I want her to respect herself and if she ever talked that way, whether I was there or not, I would be embarrassed for her. My niece has put up pictures of her drunk and acting stupid and when she shows up for family gatherings, she isn't seen as the sweet girl she used to be. She got married a couple of years ago (she's 21) and had a baby just after they got married. Then, when she turned 21, out came these 'party' pictures and it makes her look trashy. She comes around as a sweet innocent new mommy but puts up pictures that make her look like a drunk tramp. My advice is to talk to your daughter about it. Find out how she feels about her friends' myspace and I'd make sure my daughter wasn't putting up things like that too. I think a lot of it is to get attention, but they are getting the wrong kind. |
RE: Daughter's friend
| | |
| i have to agree somewhat with ima. girls are of that age where they are def into shocking everyone. my own sd has had a bi-line on her myspace that had a sexual inuendo in and i almost flipped! her other friends had trashy bi-lines as well. i do think that is part of their ages, but i definitely would bring it up and mention it, maybe not as "guess what i saw" more as, in general. and just as experience, the more you try to come between them and their firends, the more they want to hang with them, to defy you, so def tread a little on the cautious side. |
RE: Daughter's friend
| | |
| I think more information is needed on the friend. Maybe she made a bad judgement on her page. But it's good that you talk to your D about the messages she sends, and maybe looking out for friends, too. I was the Goodie Two Shoes in HS. But still got a thrill out of wearing a sweatshirt I bought at a kite shop b/c it shocked people. It said "Once you get it up, can you control it." I'm sure that little move put a few gray hairs on my mom's head. Especially since it was so out of character for me. |
RE: Daughter's friend
| | |
| I have a 15 year old (boy) and he tries to shock me on a daily basis. Mainly with his maniac music and the bands that do stupid things, he tells me all about them ! Deep down I know he is a good boy, but you need a suit of armour to get through those shock tactics! I think its good to know who their friends are, having them at your house, and finding out what makes them tick. |
RE: Daughter's friend
| | |
| Parents, are you making it crystal clear to your kids posting stuff like you mentioned on My Space, that many potential employers are now checking out My Space before they hire someone? If they have 80 applicants for "a" job opening, (perhaps your kid being one of the applicants) that they could be passed over because of what they have posted on My Space? |
RE: Daughter's friend
| | |
| I also heard that colleges do the same-check on applicants online. I mean Ivy League or other prestigous colleges. I told my DD about it when she was still in high school. She said she will pay attention, I don't know if she did-I never saw what she posts. On the other hand...Sometimes kids post or say or draw awful stuff just because...My DD's rooms walls are still covered with awful pictures of awful bands, singers look like they are on drugs and some magazine clippings are not too polite, but she is not troubled. |
|
|
|
|
