Impulsivity can be a problem on its own with or without ADHD. Some people might call just the impulsivity problem ADD (without the hyperactivity), and sometimes girls with ADHD or ADD get missed because they don't tend to act out (on the whole) to the same degree that affected boys seem to. Impulsivity, and distractability can coexist as problems and lead to ADHD/ADD symptoms.

The thing with ADHD or ADD for that matter is that it's a neurological condition. There 'should' be the classic and problematic symptoms in different settings (not just at school or just at home, or just with certain people for example).

Children can have anxiety disorders too. A generalized anxiety disorder can lead to such things as 'jumpiness' and what can look like distractability and even impulsivity.

Asperger's syndrome causes a spectrum of different symptoms from mild to severe. The classic problem would be correct interpretation of social cues that 'normal' people just seem to pick up on as if by magic. That can lead to anxiety because of not being able 'read' people correctly then they assume weird and incorrect things about you, and that just sets up a vicious cycle of problems. A secondary classic phenomenon with this syndrome is concrete thinking. People who have this may not 'get' sarcasm or read intonations correctly. One of the recent studies done showed that they do 'get' and can correctly interpret happy and sad facial expressions. They did have difficulty distinguishing the subtle differences between sad and angry though.

A good, accurate diagnosis and some understanding on her part of what she needs to work with in herself can help more than vitamins or any other medication, or supplement which may be helpful or needed. Talk to your pediatrician about the problem and all her history and ask for a recommendation about how to proceed or where you can get specific testing.

As a secondary major thing, the biggest difference usually between classroom environments and home environments is the organization and controlledness. Classroom environments are defined, and somewhat regimented. Interactions are orderly and predictable usually. Students, and the teachers generally know what is expected of them and the 'rules' for interactions. Home environments by comparasin are much more chaotic even when 'organized.' Things are not as predictable. This can cause problems for people with any of the previously mentioned disorders and more besides (some people just do better, for no apparent reason, when things are more consistent and predictable).

children can also have dysthymia, or other mood disorders (having had an unknown math disability, and a level of perfectionism for however many years has probably been a huge burden on her and she might need more help than just time and a name for the problem to recover enough to seem to 'get over it')

P.S. This page has lots of online info from the aacap.

I am sure that you know this, but just in case you have forgotten, at her age she could be starting to have hormonal changes with her periods starting in the not too distant furture. Maybe not for several months, but girls are maturing earlier. If this is it, she's not going to outgrow it any time soon.

Hi Christie, boy do I know just how you feel. I have a 7 year old in 1st grade. She has been tested twice and diagnosed ADHD. She is impulsive, forgetful and creates a disaster wherever she goes while home.She can't unwind and go to sleep for anything and then she is tired the next day, doesn't want to get up for school and bursts into tears over everything. No memory of the most basic rules. She interrupts and doesn't sit still for anything of importance(to us). She lies and exagerates things, which I find really upsetting. (the lying) I have had several teachers question the diagnoses. They see some of this but not nearly as much. I think it is a combination of reasons. First, there are other kids to look bad in front of so they try to control themselves more. There is more structure, this is good and bad, but I have found (in first grade at least) that they change gears but stay within the structure so the attention is easier to maintain. I did change my daughters teachers in November. The teacher she had was a perfectionist (ridiculous with any first grader especially adhd). She made DD do papers up to 5 times(throwing away the work) before it was perfect. She kept saying to me "see, she can do it well". Yes, and tomorrow she will start over with the sloppy stuff. No retention. I tried to explain to encourage and except small amounts of improvement. She put her in a seperate area of the room and treated her differently. Keep in mind, DD is sweet kind and tries(for the teachers more than at home) . She was so upset she broke down and cried in the class two times.Teacher kept saying she is not ADHD this is not the way they act with ADHD (other poster is right, girls are different) I decided she'd had enough. Put her in with a teacher my older daughter had and I knew was structured but kind with moving around allowed for centers etc. She would go talk quietly to a child that needed it, never in front of the class. DD now says that her teacher loves her work and is sooooo much happier.I was ready to pull her and homeschool if the principal wouldn't agree to switch her. As it was he and the teacher told me that It was probably for me more than her! I am rambling but I am trying to say we know our kids. Hang in there and email me if you want. It is sooo hard sometimes.

Maybe this is a dumb question, but how can a child have ADHD, or whatever they call it today, at home but not at school? Don't you usually have more problems with the kids at school when they have this problem? I knew a kid who did have this problem and he couldn't function in school but was perfectly fine at home as long as he wasn't doing homework. It was all school studies that he had problems with and from what I've read, the same applies to other kids.

I would think it would be hormones or just something in the home before I would diagnose my child with something like ADHD. She's at a stage where these things are changeing and she's going to be moody and harder to deal with. I remember thinking I knew it all from about 10 or so and it continued throught the teen years.

~Leslie~

Christie this sounds so much like my 12 year old son. He is never in trouble at school but has learning problems and doesn't make friends easily, is extremely sensitive and reacts totally over the top for the slightest reason at home. The school have asked us to have him tested for eye problems, AD/HD without the hyperactivety and epilespsy (sometimes he spaces out and tunes off). No problem except he's a slow learner and a sensitive child with little self confidence.

He is scared of just about everything and imagines the worst in every situation. I've been reading a lot about General Anxiety Disorder and think this might be what he has.

Amygdala's comments really interesting me (enough to drag me out of lurking) as we always thought he let off steam at home because he felt he was safe enough here to express all his emotions without getting into trouble BUT maybe he does need more rules and routine in the home to help him cope - certainly gave me something to consider.

When he was younger he used to kick holes in the walls and keep a tantrum going for 4 days but he's certainly improved with constant reassurances of love and we talk through EVERY thing to try to quench of the fears.

LOL talk about jumping in and not knowing when to shut up! Sorry to go on but hope it helps to know you aren't alone, there's not always an easy diagnosis and at the end of the day your daughter needs your love and reassurances every day. It helps to sometimes peep in when the child is peaceful and asleep and remember how wonderful they are.

I don't think parenting is the problem as we have a 14 year old daughter who excels at school, is very outgoing and overflows with self confidence. Got to take each child on their own merits and personality and just do the best you can. Again sorry for rambling on. Sue

Thanks so much for all your comments. It felt good to vent. It's hard to know what to do. If I talk to her doctor or teachers about it I'm afraid they'll just look at her grades and think I'm a neurotic mother but she's sooo different from my other kids. Maybe it's some kind of anxiety problems rather than ADHD. She does have very good retention IF she is able to focus her attention but she usually seems to be thinking about four things at once and can't concentrate. Sometimes I worry more about her mental state than I do her behavior. Rules at home have always bugged her. If I tell her not to do something it makes her want to do it more. It's difficult for her to limit the use of many things. If she's washing her hair, she'll use 1/2 a bottle of shampoo. If I give her a pack of gum, she'll chew several sticks at a time. She loves chapstick but puts it on every few seconds like it just bugs her and she can't stop. If she's cutting her fingernails she keeps cutting them shorter and shorter till they're red and sore. I know those are small issues in the grand scheme of things but she's always been like that and I wonder how she's going to make it through life without drug or alcohol problems with such a lack of self-control. Any stories of kids who were like that but outgrew it? I could sure use one.

I have an ADHD son. The first poster gave you a great response. What looks like ADHD may often be something else. Your daughter may have OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Which is why she doesn't seem ADHD to her teacher. Disorders like OCD, ADHD, ODD, depression, Tourettes, General Anxiety Disorder, Aspergers, etc. are often found in combination, which may be why you can't pin it down. Remember, moms know best. Trust your intuition and seek an opinion from a pediatric psychiatrist.

Chances are what ever it is will get worse, not better, during adolescence. Most pediatricians don't have much experience with prescribing for or treating psychiatric problems except ADHD, but it would be a good place to start.

Here are some links to look at:

http://www.ocdresource.com/

http://www.anxietynetwork.com/gahome.html

http://www.ocfoundation.org/ocf1020a.htm

http://www.bpkids.org/learning/about.htm

These may give you more insight. Kids who are treated early on have better outcomes than kids who go untreated. The biggest worry is the tendency to self-medicate which can lead to drug and alcohol abuse.

I have a grown friend (43yrs) who has ADD and three of her children have it also. One also has the OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Both of these disorders are not something that you will grow out of. My friend fought the idea of using medication with her children..she even tried homeschooling for a while(not a real good choice when you have ADD yourself)...but finally she tried medications for all of them(one by one)and they are really making alot of difference in the children at home and at school and her friends see a bit of a difference in her.These conditions are also very hereditary. The father has OCD. We've noticed with the ADD people that we know...it is very hard for them to be organized and they tend to be sort of messy or sloppy.

The OCD people can vary considerably..some are much the perfectionists and like uniformity (kids at early ages line up their toys..only want to drink out of certain colored glasses...are impulsive and over exagerates many things or over does things..like he may take wayyyy too much of things.. like at buffets 8 cookies or a plate of the thing he likes(usually rolls or meat or candy)more so than a normal child who can also be impulsive.

My son is a definite perfectionist..but has a few signs of OCD although I try to keep him in check, because I can relate to how he thinks. I can warn him ahead of time at buffets or stores and unless I'm right there by him he always impulsively overindulges in whatever it might be...but I keep working on it with him. As an adult, I find myself buying 4 and 5 of things that I like (if one is great 2 or even more is better)..like shirts..VCRs..TVs..computers(we have five nice ones now)I even realize how I am and talk myself out of lots of things...but if I can find a way to justify it in my mind I go a head and buy it. And we do use the multiples I buy now..but they aren't real necessary. My son also goes into great detail when explaining something and if he gets interrupted he wants to start it all over so it's perfect. Or has a certain thing he says when telling us good-bye or good-night and if we interupt that by saying I love you or whatever before he is done he will have to say it again up to however many times until he does get through the whole thing.

Well, I've gone on and on and hope I haven't bored everyone and hope maybe I've helped a little.
God Bless You and your family!

If it were as easy as placing a label on her to fix behavior at home"The school counselor suggested that her behavior at home would likely improve now that her disability has been discovered." all to often we read books on children and can find "symtoms" just like reading into our horoscope, please do not label here just yet, I am an ADD coach, not very successfull as most people who bring thier children to me do not really have ADD or ADHD or ODD etc.. I lose alot of client this way but at least I'm honest, the test for ADD is very simple and I would be more than pleased to instruct you on it if you email me, I live in Australia so I cannot do it my self or I would, please feel free to email me.

Matthew

ADHD can manifst itself in many ways. My oldest DS has sensory integrations dysfunction - no ADHD but similar symptoms. He is an angel at school, Sunday school, etc - bascially any time he's on his own. However, at home, he's a mess. My theory is that it takes so much of his energy to act good in other settings that he doesn't have enough energy to be "good" at home. He feels safe at home, and knows he'll be loved even if he's not perfect. It's hard for DH and I, but I'm glad he behaves himself at school!!