Your pictures are lovely! Both you and your daughter look great. I do sort of think that the pink is a little too summery for a Christmas party. They again, I don't know what part of the county you're in. But, people generally will dress more wintery for a Christmas Party. Your other two options sound ok... again, though, maybe you could ask around if you know others going. I find formality of parties and such is so regional that what goes in one county will be totally different in the next. I'd hate to tell you to wear the black skirt and then have everyone else in strapless pink dresses with tiarras -LOL I'm pretty sure your husband will be fine in a tux (even with a red shirt!), but it's harder with women. Do you know anyone else going to the party you could ask? If you're going to buy something, you may want/need to go even more formal; an actual gown may be a better option... I know I'm sort of changing my opinion from my last post but I was going more towards something that you could blend in with either way. But, if your husband is wearing a tux, you can afford to buy something, and everyone else is dressing really formal, you may want to go up a notch and wear a long gown. Ask around. And, post back even after the party. I am curious as to how strictly the word formal will be followed. Here is a link that might be useful: How to Dress

Ladies, thank you so much for responding and sharing all your great ideas. To update, the party was held on the 20th, and it was a well attended, casual affair. (roughly 65 people, nicely spaced out over 4 hours) I used regular blank invitations, and wrote that my sister and myself were hosting a party for their (70th!) and (75th!) birthdays on such and such date, time and place, as well as letting them know it was "come and go". I gave people my email address and my sister's phone number to contact if they needed specific directions. Then I enclosed a second note that said "We hope to see you there, but if you are unable to attend we know R--- and S--- would enjoy hearing from you with a card or note." (pretty much what Texas Red Head suggested.) Keeping in mind lindac's suggestion that "no gifts" implies you expected one in the first place, I didn't write "no gifts", but that also worked out well, as almost everyone brought a card instead. Actually, the only people who brought gifts were a few of my mother's oldest friends (her traveling buddies) who arrived in a group toward the end of the day. In fact, by the time Mom opened her gifts they were the only other people there besides family, so it worked out fine. I also took to heart what sherrman wrote and made surethey waited to open cards until after we'd cleaned up and were having coffee. Considering they had roughly 60+ cards to open, that was a geat idea. We'd made a video/DVD thing of old family pictures of both of them, and had contacted relatives some time ago looking for pictures. They've been married for the last ten years, and there were pictures of each other that neither had seen, so it was a great surprise. FWIW, we mixed them all up, his and hers, and nothing was in chronological order; we didn't want it to come across as one of those "This was your life" slide shows that are so popular at funerals. The little DVD was about 12 to 15 minutes long on a continuous loop, and yes, people stood around watching, and laughing and saying "I remember that!" it was terrific ice breaker. As guests were leaving, I had them stop briefly out front so T could take a quick picture. Everyone received a print of themselves looking relaxed and happy, and Mom and her husband got pictures of all their guests without annoying anyone during the party by having them stop and pose. It was just a very nice party, and again, I can't thank you all enough for your insight and advice. You're (all) the best. Melody

For "black tie" affairs, you taylor your dress with your husband's. If he is wearinga dark suit you may wear your little black dress, you would be very out of place ina long ball gown type of dress with him in a suit, You will be OK in the Little black dress, or in almost any other cocktail attire. A lot depends on the area of the country you live in. In my small town it's not unusual to see a woman dressed to the nines in a chiffoney floateeyd ress with strappy sandals and "done" hair and her husband in slacks and a "nice" sweater. It's not right, but you do see it. From what you are saying about the invitation, I suspect this party is purposfully "stuffy" and you will see people dressed in over the top formal wear and certainly a butler passing the glasses of champagne...I suspect it's all a little tongue in cheek and will be great fun! Linda C

According to Miss Manners, a dark business suit is "correct" even if the invitation says simply "black tie." But that is just the "rule" -- it doesn't do you any good if you feel underdressed. I always try to guess (or I ask) what the hostess is envisioning. Is her dream of a very fancy event? Then I will dress for that. She's usually the one who cares most anyway, and hosts treasure guests who help make the party happen the way they dreamed, don't you think? And it is a sign that you are taking their event seriously if you bother to dress for the occasion (whether that means dressy clothes, a costume, or whatever they seem to want). We just got another invitation that said "Dress down!" Somehow I didn't like that -- what would be wrong with "Casual"? I can't put my finger on it, but I felt kind of bossed by that, and my daughter did, too. Or maybe it felt sort of like the hosts were criticizing or judging people who have fancy parties? I don't know, but somehow it hit us funny. Big coincidence: I was just about to write that just this morning, someone called me to ask whether she should write "dressy" or "black tie optional" or something on her invitations. I told her that although I think people really do appreciate guidance so as not to feel self-conscious, I had just received an invitation (not the "dress down!" one) that didn't say anything about dress code, but the formality level of the invitation and the time and location of the event (Sat. night at a nice country club) made it clear that it is dressy but not black tie. Well, I happen to be sitting in a cafe right now, and just now the hostess who sent that invitation walked by! So I asked her, and she confirmed: very dressy but not black tie. Just before I typed THIS paragraph! I guess what it comes down to is that usually people in a community understand what dress is expected -- it has more to do with custom than with what the same words might mean somewhere else. But it's a problem when you are from a different community; you don't know the customs. So in that case, I would call the hosts and try to get a sense of what they are envisioning.