I would like to send your girls some mail. I am sending you an email also. Deb

newhomebuilder, I guess we didn't understand completely -- but we didn't misunderstand completely, either. In your first post, you wrote "I thought it would be nice to include those that we will not be inviting (but would like to,) to come to one of the parties given for my daughter and her fiance." This time, you wrote "We would only invite extended friends to a cocktail party." Unfortunately, I think you still have the same problem, because it is still a party YOU are giving (or at least for which you are making up the guest list). Also, even though it's not A Shower, it's still a party given in honor of the bride and groom around the time of the wedding (I assume). People may still feel like they should bring a gift. And even if there is somehow no expectation or thought of gifts, it's still the B-list event. I do understand that in many communities, 350 isn't an unusual size for a wedding, and many people have large families that expect to be invited. But nowhere is 350 considered a private ceremony, either. 350 = 350 wherever you are. I think lowspark's is the best suggestion: "Now, if you wanted to host a party a few months AFTER the wedding, just to have friends over who missed the wedding and want to meet the bride & groom, I think that would be ok. However, I would just call it a party or get together without intimating any purpose related to the wedding or the couple." I wouldn't even limit the guest list for that party to those who weren't invited to the wedding. If your real purpose is to have all your friends meet the couple, that will do the job. It will not serve to "include" more people in the wedding festivities themselves, though, which is what you said you wanted. And I just don't think there is a way to "include" people without inviting them to the wedding itself. No one can do that for everyone they would like to have, and no one does. Yes, you're right, it's really hard, but you will make your guest list and move on. Those who aren't invited will understand -- they've been there, too. Listen, EVERYONE has the same hard problem! My son and his girlfriend aren't even engaged yet, and I'm already worrying about what we will do about the guest list. I have NO idea how we will manage it, but I am sure we'll figure it out when the time comes. And so will you! So although I'm sorry I cannot help you feel better about what you would love to do, I think in the long run you will be happier if you don't complicate things by trying somehow to include everyone. Lucky you to have so many dear people in your lives.

I do hope everyone got my cards. I enjoyed making them and hope they didn't get destroyed by the post office since some were on the lumpy side. Everyone on both lists should have received them. Each card was a little different and since I belong to a few forums that send out cards I probably sent out about 150 cards. Like Minnie, I start making mine early in the year and eagerly anticipate the card exchanges. They make my Christmas by keeping in touch with cyberfriends. Thank you so much for your cards everyone! I have kept all my cards since the first card exchange. Each year they all get masking taped to the doors in my house with the newest ones on the closest doors to the living room. They decorate my house so nicely at Christmas. It has been a tradition since I was a little girl to tape the cards to doors and each day I would anticipate the mailman as a child. I do love the card exchange!

Today was the first time I've been to the post office this week,so I had a hand full! I love getting all the cards from everyone each year. Thank you all for the cards and for taking part in the exchange. Tami