Dear Lisa, I am in a south suburb of Chicago near Midway - have lots of plants to spare. Maybe we could meet halfway or something otherwise, Chesterton is perhaps a hour away not too bad from where we live, could load up the van and come. DH says we have too many plants! and need to share or compost some. Many are native plants though if that's okay with you. BTW - DH is a diabetic and has serious cardiac issues and only in his 30's so understand what's it's like on a day by day basis.

Sweeby, I know this is so hard for you AND for your son. As a special ed teacher, I can throw out a couple ideas that have worked for me with some of my kiddoes. I have had everything from ID (the old MR), LD, ED, PDD, autism... One thing I would ask him if he says that he is not intelligent is what he thinks that means. Introduce him to Howard Gardner's "Seven Intelligences" and he will be able to see which kind of intelligence he has. He needs to know that just because he is not strong on linguistic intelligence or whatever, he may be "people smart" or "art smart" or "music smart" as we explain it to our elementary school kids. There are so many careers that he should be able to find something he loves. His teacher/case manager should already be focusing on vocational goals for/with him Next, I am assuming that he has an IEP, so I would be sure it is addressing not only his academic needs, but also his social, emotional, and transition to work needs. If you don't feel it is doing that, request a meeting. An IEP is a document that can be rewritten at any time if changes are needed. Once a student hits 14, transition planning is a required element of the IEP process. Special education operates under Federal mandates and those are very clear. Some districts do a great job, some...well, not even acceptable. He should be allowed accommodations such as extended time on tests. Our state tests are untimed, but for timed tests, most of my students get extra time-at least time and a half and sometimes more. Check with your state DOE to make sure the school is just not wanting to take the easy way out here. I am not saying they would, but it takes a lot more scheduling time to administer tests to our sped kiddoes since you need extra teachers to administer the tests when not everyone is receiving the same accommodations. For instance, if some get extra time and read-aloud, they need to be in a separate group from those who get only extended time. It is a nightmare for the test coordinator, but it is necessary to ensure that my students receive what has been agreed to on the IEP. Also, the school psychologist and/or counselor may run something like friendship groups during lunch or at other times that can offer specific, direct instruction in a social setting for kids who need help navigating the world of human interactions. Don't be afraid to push back if your son isn't getting what you believe he needs. Every district should have a monitoring and compliance division for parents and students whose concerns are not addressed at the school level. Knowing that he may have to work longer and harder than some others is a good lesson, but it can also be extremely frustrating and discouraging if he realizes his entire life may be one of always having to work longer and harder and never achieving as much. He needs to find his passion and then everyone can work together to see that he can incorporate that into his future in some way.

I have that verse but it has another sentence to it. the last sentence after She is now your guardian Angel, is....Watching over you from above. Kathy...I have it saved on my computer if you want it. I made my card very small with small but readable print. Then cut the edges with those fancy sissors. and hung it on the ornament. patti

Lyban, I'm so very sorry for your loss and for your friend too. I can't even imagine that kind of pain. I have to agree with the others that the words you wrote are the best. Since English is your second language, I think it would sound odd if you said it as if it "perfectly" which is what I think you are hoping for. You know, not like it really came from you. but something you might find in a greeting card. If you really still don't feel your own words are adequate, then if you are a praying person, do so. I had a similar note to write and though I knew how I felt, I could not find words. At all. It was all too emotional since her loss was so close to my recent loss. You are already way ahead of me on this as you do have some words written. Very nicely too. After some frustration in trying to write, I bowed my head and prayed for words that expressed my own feelings. What came was a twenty line poem that said my feelings perfectly. I have shared it often with others that have lost a loved one (a Mom in this case) and everyone says it's just how they felt too. Your case is different since you are wanting to express what you saw in them as a couple and not that you understand what she is going through. By telling her the love you saw in his eyes when he so lovingly looked at his her would be a very special gift for her to hear right now. To know that others saw the love her husband had for her. A love that will always be there in her heart, but she can no longer hold in her arms. It will be of great comfort for her to know that others know how great her loss is.