Awww, that's a good one!! Happy Daddy's Day to all! Brenda

My brother and I moved swiftly and surely to isolate our mother's assets when it became clear her failing health would preclude her independent life style. That was 2 1/2 years ago. She has a revocable trust now. Assets are protected, we have powers of attorney, and the chaos that follows any death will be minimized. She has "gifted" every year since her health "crashed and burned". Her home has been emptied of its contents and her assets have been directed to its maintenance. I can only tell you, that having an elderly, frail, mentally failing parent in your home and in your care is no day at the beach. To be perfectly honest, I hate the encroachment on my personal freedom. But she is my mother, she needs my help, and who better than I to see she is well cared for, indulged, given mental stimulation on a daily basis? "Baby boomers" need to pay attention to this issue... , laws governing "look back" and estate planning change every month/year; you need to pay attention to politics! "Look back" for Mum had we tried to put our names on the deed to her home in 2003 was 3 years. With the trust it was reduced to 7 mos.. Get thee to a lawyer specializing in ELDER LAW and estate planning, ASAP. Loop holes on inheritance and the transfer of potentially valuable real estate are being closed routinely, even as we're being told that we should reduce our expectation of social security and Medicare. Smarten up! move now and isolate the assets. You'll be glad you did.

It depends, Thurman. Has the guy ever sent a card to your son before? Has he ever even met your son? It could simply be that now that son is living as an adult off at school and branching out that he is interacting with people with or without your acknowledge and/or approval. I would hope you're not going to start thinking this gentleman is trying to steal your son away. It's a birthday card, not an invitation to come spend summer break with the guy. It's likely meant as nothing more than a nice gesture because the son means something to his daughter. I just recently sent a card of condolences to my ex DIL's soon to be new husband after a passing of one of his close relatives. There was nothing sinister about the action nor it I intend any underlying motives...it was simply an express acknowledging someone close to my GS expanding family had passed away. I'm going to assume the card SD's father sent was not gushing with over the top 'For my son on his birthday' and signed 'Love Dad'. It does not hurt for extended member associations of family to be nice to each other. I'm sure if son thought you would get all upset over son receiving cards for his birthday that son would have never mentioned it to you.

IMO, its still the HUBBY who makes the final choice. Anyone, anyone even his own sister can tell him off and convince him not to pick up his kids. but in the end its his choice. No one elses. So it doesn't matter what a SM or a BM wants. Its the decision of that person. And let me bring another perspective to this arguement. You all are ticked off when a weekend is missed from an already constricted schedual eh..???? WELL WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BM MAKES PLANS ON DADS' WEEKENDS OR CONVINCES THE KIDS ITS NOT A GOOD PLACE TO GO??? Then WHAT? SHE MAKES DAD LOOK LIKE A PUTZ FOR THE LOST WEEKENDS. Its happening now with us. Damned if you do take them, and damned if youdont. Well guess what, i'm keeping a log for the last 2 years now of all the weekends lost with his kids and the reasons behind it. When on misses and why. Whether its a school activities, grandma's bday, cousins bdya party, just not up to it, wants to be with mom that weekend...ALL OF IT!. This way, when bm accuses my dh of it , i will have a record with dates and who showed up and who didn't so she doesn't try any funny business. and even the kdis have lashed out at my husband saying, oh your msising alot of weekends. He said yah, and who';s fault is that? YOURS NOT MINE! you want ot be with your friends, and go party and i call you ever week to know if you are coming...so dont play the tag game on me and try to guilt me. YOU ARE DITCHING ME. Be responsible , accept it and stop blaming others for you actions! And this is what i would say about this situation. STOP BLAMING SM'S FOR DADS DECISIONS. She has an imput but not the ultimate say. I think the mentality of blaming sm all the time comes for the same mentality that kids have the final say in these divorce situation and i cannot stress the fact even more that kids have absolutely no say and power lies between the adults. Between mom and dad. And in the end , a SM can b****ch all she wants, if dad says otherwise, its otherwise. And to add, if dad wants to skip one weekend, its also his right. He can make arrangments to picck them up another time for longer.