Another idea... Since the guests are folks who've know her since babyhood...when you send out the invites-include a page from a smaller sized photo album (one with 2-3 ring holes so it can be inserted by her the day of the celebration. The size of the album should have pages that will hold the photo & memory card on the 1 page. Print a'what to do' directions to include with the invite (send in a manilla envelope to fit the photo page)stating to please place a photo of her they have taken, and also include a recipe sized card for them to write down what the occasion was when the photo was taken and/or what special meaning it has for them. If they don't have any photo (from birth thru the present-perhaps you or another family member would give that person one to use. Then...(you still with me? LOL) place a ladder at the party location-place an 8x10 photo of her (Sr photo?) on the very top of the ladder with a sign under it saying : "___'s (her name) Ladder of Life". You can tie cording to each side of the ladder, with clothespins threaded on it (to hold the photo/memory cards that each guest brings. A little sign dividing the rungs of the ladder into sections (Babyhood, Toddlerhood, Elementary, High School)-guests would pin their page of the album into the section when the photo was taken, along w/their memory card. You can decorate the sides of the ladder with bows, school colors or party colors. You'd give her the empty album when she gets ready to open cards-have her read each & then place it in that section of her Memory Album. I've done this w/all 3 of my children & a couple nieces & nephews-well received by all and a treasured album for the graduate!

Okay, thanks for your responses. I was just too stuck on the champagne so I got 2 bottles but am skipping the OJ. That way she can open them or not but I think she will be more than happy to partake immediately - after all, it is a celebration! I think that was a enough but I ordered some flowers from my favorite shop and will pick them up in the morning. Not everyone is appreciative or even cares about such things, but I know this friend really does and it will make her happy - which makes me happy. Win - Win!!

Congratulations! "now, what would you do? is it understandable for me to be upset or not? is it normal to not even send a card or a small gift? would you say anything?" 1. What I would do is exactly what you are doing. Venting :) 2. Yes, it's understandable, I'd be upset too. 3. "Normal". Hm. Well, from what you've described it is normal for him and his relationship with your DD. It appears it's not normal for how he treats others. Unfortunate. But probably normal. 4. I'd say something if I thought it would do any good. And I'd say something like what was suggested above: DD worked hard, I know you're probably busy and it's easy to forget, but would you give her a call or send a card letting her know how proud you are? It would mean a lot to me. I received no gifts/cards/etc. for my college graduation from family members. My friends, their parents... they gave me gifts and I appreciated their tokens of pride so very much. For me, taking the time to really congratulate someone for accomplishing a goal is very important. Regardless of what it is. Your dd sounds like she's gone above and beyond many graduates, and that is worthy of extreme pride (so please don't take this wrong because it has nothing to do with your DD, just a generalization). My feeling is that if someone graduated Summa Cum Laude from Harvard or plumbing school it shouldn't matter insofar as they should be shown by their family and friends that their efforts and accomplishment did not go unnoticed. Praising someone for success (even if it's something that may be considered by others to be not that hard or unusual) is important. Acknowledging achievement is important. I have a friend who recently completed a marathon. Ten miles is not very much. I can run 10 miles faster than this person. I have another friend who has won the Ironman and many who have competed in similar elite marathons and triathlons. But I am so proud of her and I'm her biggest cheerleader. She set a goal, she worked toward it and she accomplished it! It's so cool to see her look of pride, and see her self-worth rise and to know that she knows that she is more capable than before. To me, that's cool. And if your brother is too ignorant to see just what a cool niece he has, it's his loss. Heck, I'm proud of her and I don't even know her. (((virtual card congratulating dd)))

I hope you'll find some fun things to do too. I don't know what size city you are going to graduation in, hopefully there will be something of interest to enjoy - although I do understand you not wanting to get too far out of range of niece if you are supposed to be chaperoning ;) I'm a little surprised the graduate is even free for dinner, the last three I've been to (in three different cities, two states) have included whisking the kids off in provided transportation to an all class all night party. We're still a little up in the air for a great nephews grad in three weeks, I haven't made reservations for us yet. If we go to graduation, we'll see little of him. The kids are being bussed to an undisclosed location from graduation services to their party. His family is having their own celebration on Saturday following the Wednesday graduation. We can't do both, it's about a 6 1/2 hour round trip. I think a phone call is in order, I need to ask him what he would like us to do, where/when he would like our participation. But back to your question, I think no more of a relationship than you have with the boy, I would probably buy a card and enclose a $25 Starbucks card. If he has definite plans for college and you know where, you could send for a gift card to their bookstore.