My wife worked as a Home Depot paint department supervisor and said the Glidden Gripper was the primer they recommended most of the time mainly because no one seemed to come back and complain about it. She said personally she would go to a dedicated paint store, not a box store. Prep is important especially when painting over wood previously stained and top coated as you have experienced first hand. It's going to be tough to find any coating that can withstand the wrath a vacuum cleaner, but you can be successful with the right products. I perhaps take an overkill approach but I would sand, vacuum and tack cloth everything, clean with TSP and mineral spirits, then use a liquid sandpaper, then prime with the best primer you can find and finally paint with the best wall and trim coating you can afford using the best recommended brush you can find. It's a lot of work and maybe a step or two more than needed. The TSP and liquid sandpaper are maybe overkill but that's what I would do.

I agree that I should use the best primer and paint. I just don't know what they are. A friend that flips homes said he uses Glidden Gripper, but I am open to any suggestions for the best brands. I want it to look nice and most of all, last.
Thanks in advance, Anna

Gripper is just fine. The problem with chipping and the vacuum cleaner most likely is because of old brittle oil based paint underneath