This makes me wonder why the person before you quit. Are you salaried and thus not able to even earn overtime money? Unless you are desperate for the money, I don't know how you put up with it. I remember one boss (who was the owner of the company) I had that felt his wife should live a life of leisure and he would send me to do her errands, such as getting their vacuum cleaner fixed. When I came back from doing that in 110 degree heat, I must admit I slammed a few things down on my desk. I was let go that week with the explanation that work was slow. I'm glad that happened because the next job I got was for a company with normal people. Nobody should have to take abuse from an employer.

Can you talk to HR to at least document this? I understand it's a VP that you work for but I'm assuming the VP is not one of the owners of the company. Did you get a job description when you started? Bring this to HR along with the real list of duties that you do and the hours that you work. I would expect them to intervene on your behalf.

Good luck! Your health is more important than a job.

Document, document, document. Keep a daily log of your job duties and what you do. Update it hourly. It will be a huge pain to do that, but you may need the information to show that you cannot accomplish what is being demanded of you.

Follow your DH's advice and leave on time. Take your lunch and daily breaks. You need those.

I have had the boss from hell for the past 18 months and I am now on medical leave. All of my leave time is gone, so I'm applying for time from our sick leave bank. Dealing with her has not been worth the stress.

Good luck. I know this is tough.

Gloria

Definitely document everything... and look for a new job.

You could talk to your boss until you turn blue, but it's not likely she's going to change and become reasonable and easygoing EVER. No matter what you say, it won't make a difference (she'll just see you as a complainer and a slacker).

In a small company like that, you're probably stuck with her the way she is. Do you REALLY want to work there under those conditions??

I think Marie is getting you off to a good start. You need to have a job description, If you didn't get one when you started, you need to go to to your supervisor and get it. That should be the basis upon which the two of you discuss what is and is not part of your job. I would not go to HR first because you don't want to look like you're going over your supervisor's head. If your supervisor tells you that a job description does not exist or is inaccurate, then take the lead in contacting HR to meet with the two of you to hammer one out.

Since it may take some time to get the job description settled, I would start right away to document what you do and how long you spend on each task (hours per week is sufficient). I also would note if there's something that stands in the way of your doing that job more efficiently. Then send a copy of that to your supervisor each week. If that's too often, she'll let you know. One of the best lessons I ever learned in the world of (non-manufacturing) work is that "Documentation is work made visible." It really is.

I'm also a great fan of making supervisors earn their pay. :-) If there is too much work for one person to do on a regular basis (even with a little overtime; don't forget that overtime is essentially a pay cut for salaried people), then your supervisor is the one who should determine what your priorities should be (something else you document mutually after each prioritization session, just to verify that you both walked away with the same list).

If your job is like many, the priorities will shift almost-daily, in which case you should feel free to respond to requests from your supervisor by verifying that it's okay with her that doing New Priority X will cause Old Priority Y to slip.

You're in a bad place, but you can make that job more manageable. It will take a few more long weeks, though. Good luck!

I agree with all the previous points on documenting and also on the possibilities of talking to H.R. I have dealt with bosses like that in the past and it seems to me that the female bosses that are so "power hungry" are actually very insecure in their position. They just try to cover it by treating their "underlings" poorly. I think they view themselves as "stepping up to the plate" when they do this, but infact they are creating a dysfunctional working enviroment. Since you are the only one doing what you do, it does at least seem you have some job security. If she just fired you, she'd have to deal with all that you do herself. Unless she is just plain stupid, I would doubt she would ever do that.

But really, life is too short to be unhappy all the time. If this can't be remedied in a reasonable amount of time, I think I would go elsewhere. You don't deserve to be treated with such condescension and disrespect . . . no one does, regardless of skills or position.

Best of luck to you! Keep us updated!

Brenda

I have my job description, which is very long & detailed. I worked as a manager in a similar-size company in my previous job. Another lady in the dept. & I shared many of the duties that are listed on this job description just for me! There are other duties which I didn't have at my previous job that I'm expected to do as well. And believe me, I didn't have any free time at my previous job. In fact, we had talked to the CEO about hiring someone else at least part-time to help us because both of us had plenty to do.

They have hired someone else this week for our dept. But my boss has her helping someone else in the dept. In fact, it's an area where the lady currently doing the job leaves on time every day. My boss did not ask me if I needed help. When I mentioned that it would be good to have the new person learning one of my biggest time-consuming tasks, my boss told me that she wanted her doing something else.

Thursday I nearly started crying in her office. I told her that I needed to take a late, slightly long lunch to attend a Christmas party at DH's office. It was scheduled for mid-afternoon. I was only asking to take my normal lunch plus app. 30 min. to an hour extra, mainly to make an appearance due to DH's position in his company. She was NOT happy. She started asking if would have my work done, etc. Then she tells me to go ahead, but to make sure I fill out a time off request for the time beyond my normal lunch hour.

I'm salaried, so I'm not getting paid any extra for working 50-60 hrs/week. But I'm supposed to use my paid time off for a measly extra hour this once?? It would still be more than a 40 hr. week for me. I finally just called DH & told him I couldn't go. I shouldn't have done that, I know. I was just so stressed & at that point I really didn't feel like going.

I am mid-level management at the company. However, she controls everything. I am not allowed to delegate any of my duties to anyone else or ask anyone to help me. When I've suggested making some changes, she tells me that doing that task is my job and that others have plenty to do.

Last night we went to the company Christmas party. When we left, DH's comment was, "She really doesn't like you at all." If he could tell just from being at the party, I know there's a problem. He noticed that she didn't say a word to me all night. She even went so far as to talk to the people right next to us, but never said a word to me or DH.

I know I need to talk to her, but I don't know what to say. I'm sure the initial words that come to mind wouldn't go over very well & they certainly wouldn't be very professional. I'm afraid that may lead to worse problems. She mentioned that the lady that had my job previously used to "run to the CEO about things." Hmm, I can't imagine why!!

Download this and keep track of ALL your time, print it out and ask the boss what you can delegate or stop doing and what is really important to the company.

When a job has passed through several hands, there are often tasks that should have been dropped from the workload but they hang on.

Here is a link that might be useful: Time tracker

"Mid-level management" implies that you have GOALS and discretion in how those goals are accomplished.

Your description of the situation makes it clear that you are working totally under the supervision of another person, who controls your schedule to the minute and your tasks too.

In this state, you would NOT be "exempt", you would be hourly and you would get overtime. It sounds like they are taking advantage of the "management" title to get 50-60 hours a week without paying overtime.

Look into your state's labor laws ...

kittiemom, it's obvious even from here that you and your boss are not getting along. I'm not sure what either one of you may be contributing to the friction. But it exists, and it's probably not a big stretch to say that your future at that company is quite limited unless you can report to someone else or she leaves.

So, at this point, I would go to HR (if there is, indeed, an HR department) or to this woman's supervisor. Do it by yourself first and explain the situation in as neutral a fashion as you can, with as many objective examples of the behavior as you can muster.

Keep in mind that your supervisor been there longer than you have and that she is in a higher position -- not that that makes what she is doing okay, just that the company has more of an investment in this woman than they do in you. So be objective and business-like. Do not make it a moral or character issue and stand on your willingness to do a good job.

Then request a meeting with whoever you're speaking with and your supervisor. Schedule a couple of hours if you need to. Both of you need to clear the air or one of you will be looking for a job. Whatever action plan is drawn up to address everyone's expectations, schedule a similar followup session with the same people for, say, a month from now, to make sure progress is being made.

I feel for you. The social component of work is critical, and to have a supervisor who is hostile to you makes a long week that much longer. I hope for the best...

First of all, my sympathies! When a work environment is bad, it feels like it just drains all the life out of you. You keep saying you know you need to talk about this with your supervisor, but before you do please consider carefully whether you really think it would make any positive difference. She doesn't sound like someone who's going to say "gosh, I didn't realize I was being so impossible, I'll change immediately". She sounds like someone who will instead use that conversation against you. I'd also be careful about going to human resources for the same reasons - it's not likely to help, and it may backfire on you. Spend some time thinking carefully about what you're trying to accomplish, and whether or not it's realistically possible.

I think your best option here is to find another job. Not an easy task, but your present office doesn't sound promising at all.

In the meantime, document absolutely everything. Your time, what she tells you to do, when she told you to do it, what projects you're working on, what priority each project has, what you've done, how much time you spent, everything. Confirm what she tells you back to her in email, so she can't say something different later. Send her weekly status reports on your main projects, and ask her to confirm the priority of each project.

And I would start leaving pretty close to on time, and I'd stop coming in early. I really really hate to miss deadlines on projects, but with this workload you're going to miss deadlines regardless of what you do. So don't kill yourself trying to do the impossible. With this boss, no matter how much work you do, there will always be a big stack of work you didn't do - you can't win. Work hard when you're at work, but stop putting in the massive overtime.

I think you're learning why the person who had this job before you left. I'd follow her example and find another job.

I'd get my resume together and get ready to move on down the road.

I have a very good friend that has been in your situation multiple times. Working her butt off, making the dysfunctional system work, insane hours, heat from the boss and no acknowledgement.

She finally ended up in a dream job where she got the title, the money and now is the one 'supervising'. Because of her experience dealing with this sort of thing, she is now a fabulous manager and her new boss loves her. She also works normal hours and is compensated for her experience and talent.

There is life beyond this job. I would look at it as a stepping stone towards the job you'll eventually be happy with. Sometimes we have to move around until we find the right job fit.

I would also never again "ask" for permission to be gone at a different time for lunch.

I'd *e-mail her* say, "I'm taking a late lunch. Since I was here last night until 8pm and didn't take lunch yesterday, I'm sure that won't be a problem for you." And leave. And be gone the extra half hour.

And I agree, I think you just need to find a new job. I don't know that you can fix this--she has all the power, and you don't.

And the not looking at you thing--that's bad. At the company party she can't even bring herself to be polite to you?

The one thing you *could* take to HR is, the question: "I routinely put in 50 to 60 hours a week, but bcs I'm salaried, I don't get compensated for that. What is the *company's* policy if one day I need to take a longer-than-usual lunch? Or if I need to take my lunch hour at a different time?" That would be nice to know.

And start seriously looking for a new job. And stop staying late. And flat-out refuse to stay late on important dates.

I'm in publishing, where we have "closings"--the time period when we do the final proofing, etc., of the magazine. I have taken to saying, "In one's personal life, there are events that are the equivalent of a closing."

Your anniversary dinner is one of them. And work will have to wait. Will the company lose money because you leave? No. Will your family life "lose value" bcs you don't? Probably. So leave.

You are her first employee, almost. She has a lot to learn. You don't have to stay there to teach it to her, but while you're looking for another job, you can certainly begin sending her back the "feedback" she needs.

You can say, politely, "I stayed last night until 8pm and didn't take lunch; I stayed the day before until 7:30 and didn't take lunch. I'm just checking: Even though I have put in all that extra time without complaint, you want me to ask for official time off for this extra half hour?" When she says yes, you can say, "thank you for clarifying."

And then you can really burn her on the exit interview, LOL!

Gosh, you know she (your boss( reminds me of the witch that played Lynette's boss on desperate housewives (anyone watching?). She (Lynette) got revenge at the end in a way that is probably not possible or practical in your situation.
But I agree with everyone else, get your resume together, leave on time, dont do overtime, your family is important.
Good Luck to you, and yes, really get her in the exit interview.
Bianchi

As the wife of a programmer, I know all about crazy hours and poor management, and what it can do to you mentally and physically, from watching what it did to my DH over the years. Get out while you can...there is almost assuredly a better job out there. Your personal health and your family life are not worth the beating that continuing to work at this place will cause. By all means, try to fix the problem if you think it's worthwhile and has any chance of going anywhere...but if it looks like a wasted effort, I would just move on.

You really made me appreciate my own job.

Because of her experience dealing with this sort of thing, she is now a fabulous manager and her new boss loves her.

I have to agree with this statement. Everything I've learned about good management over the years came from bad managers. :-(

I work late a lot--I'm not always anti working late. It's when you are being expected--and PRESSURED--to do the impossible for an unpleasable boss.

As tempting as it is, I actually wouldn't try to burn her in the exit interview either. It's a small world (or maybe I just work in a small profession), and you never know who may talk to who. There's no reason to give anyone an excuse to portray you as a troublemaker or whiner or whatever. I'm concerned that anything bad you say in the exit interview would just serve to bolster her portrayal of you as difficult, a whiner, or whatever. After all, she's in a higher position than you, and she's staying, so she's going to have a prety good chance to spin what you say however she wants. I wouldn't give her any ammunition. I'd just stick with "found another opportunity" or something generic like that when asked why you're leaving, and decline to give any details.

I've had many wacky bosses and strange jobs...

I have a question for you: is there anything you really need to learn or accomplish in this job to further your career? If so, I would say to stay until you have mastered that skill/achieved your goal. Then move on. If there is nothing you need from this position, start looking now! Remember, you are the person who directs your career.

Second, have you tried checklisting yourself? You say that you have a long and detailed job description. Can you write yourself out a checklist of everything that you have to do to perform each task in that job description? It sounds like there's a lot coming at you and with the addition of the wacky boss, that would make it hard for me personally to concentrate. If you can checklist yourself, you will find ticking competently through each little step... or at least you will know exactly where you left off.

I agree with the posters above that you should sit down with your boss and identify your priority tasks. Don't ask her to do it with you--TELL her that you will be reviewing your priorities with her and give her the choice of doing it daily or weekly. If she balks, review your priorities with her every Monday morning anyway. Every time she gives you something new to do, ask her what priority it is and don't give up until you get that information.

I also agree about your hours. You are not getting compensated for your extra time--either in money or recognition. So, arrive on time and leave on time. Don't give any excuses--you have to go and that's it. Take your lunch hours too--you need your breaks. Focus on working efficiently during your work hours.

Best of luck!

I remember hearing once about a situation like yours that finally ended with the person quitting. The boss then quickly hired her friend to fill it. I assume that's not what's behind this, especially since someone left your position before you. Has anyone given you the reasons why the person before you quit?

Ditto what Jane the Renovator said.

And start job hunting again. You don't have to hurry out, just find another opportunity in order to save your sanity.

Well, DH (the problem solver) decided that I wasn't going to stand up for myself & called the CEO. He met with me & the Pres. They were not surprised. They told me that I was certainly not the first person to have problems with this woman. I told them that I had planned to talk to her first before going over her head to them. They were very nice & told me that they respected that & wouldn't get involved at this time. They said that if talking with her didn't work & the problem continued to come to them. They also told me that even if they got involved, she wouldn't change fundamentally. She wasn't included, but she knew something was going on because she was very nice to me for a couple of days. They she basically lost it in front of another employee who had come to ask me a question. She was so bad that he just stood there with an astonished look on his face. She needed some paperwork & couldn't find it & was convinced that I had it & just hadn't put it away properly. I told her that I did not have the papers in question & had not seen them. Since this was something a little out of the ordinary & a first time occurence, I would remember it. I'm pretty sure that she took care of this particular issue & the papers were likely on her desk somewhere. It wouldn't be the first time this had happened. She became very angry when I told her I didn't know where it was. They realize that this woman has friction with a lot of people. I've seen her act badly to the plant manager & one of the other VP's, but of course neither of them works for her, so they just ignore it.

I had a long meeting with my boss yesterday. I told her that her treating me the way she had been bothered me & was a problem. I gave her several examples. I also told her that I needed to start working more regular hours. I told her that I certainly didn't mind working overtime when needed, but that I could not continue working until 7:30 or later every night and thru lunch. I also explained to her that I believed I was spending more time than she realized answering questions for other staff that relate to customers & trying to facilitate things from our dept. that might be holding up an order. This is not something I'm just doing extra, it's part of my job. I just don't think she realizes how much time it takes. She told me that she realized that she often came across in a bad way. She said she didn't mean to be a witch, but she knows it often sounds that way. She mentioned that this was an issue with the previous person in my job. She also said that she's come a long way from the way she used to be (now that is SCARY!). She also said that until fairly recently, she had never managed people. I feel better now that I've taken the step of talking with her so she realizes there are issues. I don't think it'll actually change things over the long term.

I did work very late Tues. night, but she did at least ask if I minded. I took a long lunch on Wed. & left on time. She told me yesterday during our meeting that she wanted to meet with the entire dept. now that we had someone new. She later popped in & said that she had asked the others to meet at lunchtime & that we would order lunch in. This was not a previously scheduled meeting. I told her that DH was going out of town for a couple of days & that I had already planned to have lunch with him because of that. She said that she would have to go ahead & meet with the rest of the dept. I told her that was fine. Normally, even if I'd had lunch plans with DH, I wouldn't have minded changing them for an impromptu meeting. But with him going out of town, I didn't feel that I should cancel them yesterday. They ended up not meeting because one of the ladies didn't get asked before & she also had plans.

I did work very late Tues. night, but she did at least ask if I minded. I took a long lunch on Wed. & left on time. She told me yesterday during our meeting that she wanted to meet with the entire dept. now that we had someone new. She later popped in & said that she had asked the others to meet at lunchtime & that we would order lunch in. This was not a previously scheduled meeting. I told her that DH was going out of town for a couple of days & that I had already planned to have lunch with him because of that. She said that she would have to go ahead & meet with the rest of the dept. I told her that was fine. Normally, even if I'd had lunch plans with DH, I wouldn't have minded changing them for an impromptu meeting. But with him going out of town, I didn't feel that I should cancel them yesterday. They ended up not meeting because one of the ladies didn't get asked before & she also had plans.

Good for you! There may not be an ultimate resolution other than finding another supervisor or another job, but at least the issues are on the table, you know what you're experiencing is not unique, you are normalizing your job and your personal life, and your boss is aware that there is at least a perception problem (which, in that line of work, is just plain a problem).

It's disappointing that people don't think she will change, but it's at least realistic. Things won't change until she wants them to, and she may not have the motivation until she finds out her career likely is at a standstill unless she improves her soft skills.

I think I still would shop for another job to see if there's something better out there. Of course, you may end up in a similar situation at the new place or the entire company may have that kind of culture. In the meantime, I would continue to manage work and personal life and to establish boundaries with your boss. I wish you the best in making that happen!

Kittiemom,

Oh my gosh, were you mortified when you found out your husband called the CEO? I would die of embarrassment if my husband did that. I'm glad it all worked out, though!

Sounds like if the president of the company knows the VP is a management disaster, and he allows it to continue, there isn't too much hope for improvement. Like Steve said, keep shopping.

Julie, I was a little upset, but more surprised than anything. I would have thought that I would have been very upset & angry w/DH, but I wasn't. He had listened to me talk about this & didn't feel that I was going to stand up for myself, so he was trying to help me. The CEO didn't tell me that it was DH, he said he heard something through the grapevine. I knew immediately that it was DH, because I had spoken to no one at work about it. To be honest, I am a little relieved because at least now they're aware of the situation.

I realize that they have quite an investment in my boss because she's worked there several years. She is very good at the non-management part of her job. She has worked hard & been loyal to them & now they are being loyal to her. I respect that, especially in today's business world where it seems that loyalty on both sides is lacking.

There was a similar problem at DH's company. A particular supervisor who was a long-term employee was a terrrible manager. His dept. had constant turnover, with some people only staying a few days. The pres. promoted another employee to manage that part of the operation. DH says that the change is amazing. They no longer have the dissatisfied employees or the high turnover.

They could do something similar here - basically let her do her job but take away the management aspect of it. They are doing that to some extent. The CEO told me that as of Jan. 1, they are changing the structure of our dept. Most of the people who are now managed by her will be managed by one of the other VP's. Technically, their jobs could fall under either dept, but in most companies they would remain where they are. I have to wonder if there is a reason beyond what they gave me. I know that two of the people in that dept. have turned in their resignation but were persuaded to stay. This happened before I got there & I have not tried to pry & ask questions as to why they resigned. I will not be part of the restructing; I will still work for the same person.

She told me Fri. that one of the problems she had with the previous person in the job was that she was fast but not accurate enough. She said my accuracy is better but I'm not as fast as the last person. I'm beginning to see a pattern here. Besides, she should know that working efficiently is one thing, but trying to be too fast when you're doing accounting is only asking for trouble & mistakes. It takes a little extra time to be thorough.

I have remained in touch with a couple of the ladies from my former job. I talked to one of them & she says that my former boss has mentioned calling me sometime in Jan. to go back there. He told me when I left that they wouldn't replace me for a while. Both of these ladies are in favor of me going back & have told the boss that. I may call him after Christmas. He was wonderful to work for. I didn't burn any bridges when I left there. He knew the reasons that I was leaving - this job appeared to be the next step on the career ladder & it was a much shorter commute. He also knew that it was not about salary & that it was a VERY difficult decision for me to make. This isn't certain, but it gives me hope. I would go back to work there in an instant. So here's hoping!

Sometimes all we need to do is work on the other side of fence just to get a different perspective of what really is important. I am so glad things are changing for you in this company and that you might be able to go back to your old job.

They could do something similar here - basically let her do her job but take away the management aspect of it. They are doing that to some extent. The CEO told me that as of Jan. 1, they are changing the structure of our dept. Most of the people who are now managed by her will be managed by one of the other VP's

At most of the companies I've worked at, that position was known as "Vice President/Director/Manager/whatever of Special Projects". It's what companies do when they're too kind to show someone the door but they realize that the person is a liability. Sounds like that's what's happening here. I'm sorry to hear you're not going with the other VP. That's a bit strange considering the problems you've had with her, but that may change shortly after the reorganization anyway, once the excitement of it dies down and they can save face (theirs and hers) by not moving everyone out from under her supervision.