A couple of comments:

First, congratulate yourself for the progress you've made so far. It's so easy to beat up ourselves for not having made the progress we'd like/we'd hoped to/we feel we need to and to not recognize how much better we are now than we were. You didn't become like this overnight and you won't resolve the problem overnight. Give yourself some atta-whatevers for what you've done so far.

Second, it might be worth taking a little time from shoveling against the tide to think about how to reduce the volume of "stuff" at its source. It's easy to find on the Web the Web sites or phone numbers you need to contact to get your name off junk-mail lists; it might be a good time to admit to yourself that you like that magazine but you never find time to read it so why subscribe, and so on. It might also make sense to find yourself at a place that sells lots of organizing products and spend some time solving the storage issues -- I'm guessing you lose a lot of energy to working around that.

What worked for me when I did major organizing last year was to make a list of items that needed to be organized together. Such as stationery, maps, computer stuff, papers to be filed, etc. Then, I started in one room and organized it by the item. Sometimes, though, items from one of my groups were in various places but fortunately I knew the places so I just pulled everything that belonged in that group from around the house and garage. If I missed any, I could still add to that group which I had already assigned a home.

It made more sense for me to get my groups together first and then decide on which shelving, drawers or plastic containers I'd need to buy. I must admit that I already owned just about all of these before I started. The reason was because I'd buy them whenever the organizing urge hit me and then I never followed through.

For those items that you can't decide on, pack them up in a box (again by group) and put that box in the garage or somewhere else out of the way. If you are missing something, you'll know where it is and then at the end of 6 months or so, you can revisit that box and make a final decision if you really need those items. And, if you still aren't sure (that slicer might come in handy next Christmas) just keep it in the box. It's still out of the house and not creating any clutter.

Your one statement "I feel like I am not really living my life, I'm just on hold" hit home to me. I've gone through those "moments" in my own life. I've never been a clean freak like some people I know who will literally get up a few times a week at 4:00 am to vacuum their house before work. But what got to me (and still does a little bit) is not being able to find an item when I or someone else needed it. I felt as though I spent my life searching for things. It's really liberating to know where to find a piece of paper that was touched a month ago.

Andrea, what are you expecting life to be if this is being "on hold?"

Gloria

I too am battling the clutter, & as an amateur plant collector (180+) plants & a quilter in large studio apartment, I'm about at the end of my patience w/ clutter, especially w/ the paperwork. Recently bought a shredder to get started w/ that.

If you haven't read the site "Flylady" you might check that out for some ideas. I found it quite inspiring & has helped me w/ both the kitchen & bathroom as far as their upkeep & thereby reducing the overall work there. I do have an advantage (in this context anyway) in that I live alone, so I don't have other people's stuff to deal with. 1 disadvantage (sort of) is that I CAN find everything, regardless of where I put it, or to be more precise, which pile or room it's in; somehow I can see it in my mind & make a bee line straight for it. That doesn't help my motivation any though.

One really helpful thing from FlyLady is the idea of getting a timer, like a kitchen timer & set it for 15 minutes, theory being, one can tolerate doing almost anything for just 15 minutes. Then work at decluttering for 15 minutes at a time. Seems (to me anyway) less overwhelming to tackle things in chunks of 15 minutes.

Am with ya in spirit, pls. don't be discouraged!

(PG) Karen

Look again at Gloria's question--knowing her, I'm betting she's asking you, "what is it that will make you feel like you're living your life, instead of being "on hold"? What are your expectations?"

If you can identify them, you have a better shot at achieving them. Even if you're only able to create in your life ONE of the things on your list of expectations, you'll feel much better. If "living my life" to you would be "baking cookies with my kid," maybe you can find a way to do that now and then.

Or at you can decide to readjust them, if that is in fact what they need.

One thing I've seen i people's progress here on the forum over the years is that they spend a significant amount of time feeling as though all their energies are directed towards "managing their stuff"--decluttering, organizing, etc. And then, suddenly, there' s big payoff period--they look around their home and can't figure out what to do with themselves. Because their clutter is mostly under control, the floor is mostly clean.

Now for my comments:

I find it really hard to handle things only once. I can't pay the bills the moment I walk through the door w/ the mail in my hand (I can toss the junk mail, but I can't pay the bills).

I need to have a "holding place" for stuff that I will handle later, and then I *need* to have a routine in which I DO handle it later. (laziness is my biggest problem--followed by forgetfulness, as in I have time, but can't remember all the stupid little things I need to do). An "In box" helps me there, w/ both problems, sort of.

I found that having set times for dealing w/ the day's clutter was helpful. The DR table is the one that gets it all. So, I would get back out of bed in my PJs to clean if off--I was not allowed to go to sleep if the DR table was cluttered. And I had to put it all away. After a long time, I've gotten so that keeping th e stuff from piling on the DR table takes place more organically throughout the day.

Likewise, I've added my dresser.

I've stopped being an accumulator, slowly, out of sheer self-defense. As my home got better and better, I got a taste for clear spaces. Then, for some reason (probably kids & birthdays), it got worse. It was REALLY BAD about this time last year. I cannot bring myself to buy anything. I just keep thinking, "where will I put it?"

Trying really hard to cut back on spending made a huge difference, too. I try to pay off my credit card each month, and spent about 3 years (awhile ago now) wiping out a $5,000 credit-card debt. So every dime I didn't spent, could go toward that debt. I got REALLY stingy. I had to really really really NEED NEED something before I'd buy it, because I had another plan for that money.

A couple of bonuses: I have less debt, and more money. And I have less stuff, so I enjoy what I DO have, more.

I learned about the last point w/ my kids. "Santa" bought the 3-y-o boy a die-cast bus that he LOVED (he'd lusted after it for months; it was so cute). He carried it everywhere. Santa was so glad. Then everyone he knew starting buying him another busthe things were only $6, and they were ubiquitous in all the little shops. Suddenly that bus was just not as valuable to him. Santa was really sad, and he actually didnÂt value it as much anymore. So if I really enjoy a particular object (a vase, platter, serving dish--can you tell what my "accumulating" bent is?), I've decided not to "camouflage" it with other items. It helps me appreciate and admire them more. (and, if I didnÂt think they were THAT great, I sent them off somewhere, to make room for something I really love)

I find that junk mail isn't the problem--I can throw that away easily (delete, delete, delete, just like spam, LOL!). That's a snap.

But stuff STILL comes into my home!

My problem is stuff like this, that I haven't planned for, and that have only a short-term need for "housing" (but need to be around for a month at least):
-fundraising papers from school
-Sunday school materials for the new quarter
-new hymnal (I'm the organist; and I can't just ditch the old one, bcs some of those arrangements are easier to play)
-Christmas presents for other people
-wrapping paper for the Christmas season
-DDÂs or DSÂs school projects, which they created from nothing and now want to save

I did take a stab at creating a "short-term executive housing" project--I made space in the file cabinet for Sunday-school material, school fundraising stuff.

Oh, and IÂm a big fan of infrastructure. ItÂs no accident that the FIRST part of the cliché is "a PLACE for everything." If you donÂt have shelves, drawers, etc., you canÂt put anything away. IÂm a big fan of closed doors. So give yourself permission for some serious thought about what you need in terms of closets, cabinets, bookshelves. And where theyÂre most needed. Sometimes the "where" is "right where the stuff keeps piling up," but sometimes itÂs not.

Good luck!

Just a few words,

First of all, if you have made great strides getting your clutter under control, congratulations! Pat yourself on the back, have a nice glass of wine and relax for a while. Reward yourself!

I have helped numerous people deal with clutter. The main thing everyone says is they feel overwhelmed with the mess they have and they simply don't know how to tackle it.

I have suggested many times that folks set a time limit for working with clutter. Set a timer for say 15-20 minutes, and go at the pile of stuff. When the timer goes off, stop and rest. This will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed. If you haven't used an item just laying around for the past month, consider it trash, or store it neatly somewhere .

I have been in the housekeeping industry for the past 14 years. Having seen tons of the messes over the years, I can tell you what you already know, it will rule/ruin your life. How can you have a sense of peace when your home with all of the mess? Not to mention the dirt it collects. If you have a clutter issue, you really dont have a clean house. I'm NOT a clean freak (I have three dogs), but I do like for my place to be tidy. There is a huge difference.

I suggest if you don't have storage for your stuff, make a decision about how/where it needs to go so you can easily get to it when you need to. You will probably be surprised at how much storage you really have in closets that are a mess. Make use of empty space by installing inexpensive shelves. Wall areas will hold hooks etc. for stuff that can be hung.

Finally. Please do not consider tossing everything you want to deal with into a closet or the garage. This is not dealing with it, its moving it. I cant tell you how many closets Ive seen spilling over because people thought they were dealing with stuff.

Good luck!

SG

Andrea,
I love Flylady for the encouragement to keep going, a little bit at a time.

Can you give examples of what you're having problems storing? I'm not keen on fancy storage systems. The less you have, the easier the household management. I worry that you're pondering the addition of "appropriate storage space" for things that accumulate until you feel overwhelmed by the stuff all over the house.

For example, I love books and I love to read. I originally thought I needed another bookcase so I wouldn't have books stacked all over the house. What I actually needed was to donate several boxes of books to the library sale.

So, did we chase you off andrea?

Gloria

Andrea is probably as shocked as I was to hear that anybody gets up at 4:00 am to vacuum. I hope thats not a new standard in cleanliness.
I appreciated all of the great ideas though--because we have moved back into our house after the remodel with all of our stuff--and almost no furniture. No bookcases yet, no cabinets for vases or crystal, or linens, and our master closet isn't finished yet. Clutter--yes, just a little. Getting dressed in the morning can be a challenge. But I was able to find a Halloween tablecloth for dinner tonite. I think the Thanksgiving platter will cover up most of the design, and Orange and black are holiday colors. I have a note under the platter that says the first person to comment washes dishes. (a frequent ploy)
I would bet that if Andrea spent 10 minutes in our house these days she would go home thrilled with her organizational skills. Its all relative.

Whenever my house needs a real good cleaning, I invite my friend who gets up at 4:00 am to vacuum to a dinner party. I once told her this and she thought I was nuts. But it certainly gives me the extra oomph to make the house sparkle!

About the vacuuming, she says that she's always gotten up hours before she had to leave for work so she has time for this early in the morning. And she has 2 dogs that shed and 4 or 5 cats as well so her place needs the vacumming more often than other places. For me, I'd go with my one dog that doesn't shed and vacuum less.

I used to have a sog, a mutt terrier who was a terrible shedder. I vacuumed daily. Luckily, I was home with my 2 kids at the time. I now have a non-shedding soft-coated Wheaten terrier. Much less shedding, but she requires regular professional grooming,which is a problem in itself. And I would never vacuum at 4 am. That's just too early, people are sleeping!

OOps, I meant dog, not "sog". I hit submit too quick. Sorry.

Well, andrea isn't the only one in shock that someone would be vacuuming at 4 in the morning. I guess if they really go to bed at 8 every evening it would't be all that different from me doing something at midnight.

This is my first year off of work so I'm getting myself into some bad habits, but I found I could get 99% of my stuff done before work as long as we did our night before routine.

Gloria

She goes to bed by 10:00 or before, I believe. But she has to leave her house by 6:45 to get to work at 7:30. She works until 5:30, 4 days a week and just finds it easier to do it in the morning when she has the energy since work really tires her out.

I wonder if Andrea was feeling that whatever her life is like now-it will always be like that, which could be really discouraging if you are buried in soccer schedules, or burp cloths. But, it is surprising how women's lives change back and forth with the priorities and life stages.
When your kids are little it seems like you'll never see the end of legos under the bookcases, and the house needs firm organizational skills to avoid being buried in clutter or chaos. When they get to high school I recall needing skills in managing difficult personalities and time crunches, as well as fashion skills. (You aren't going to wear that, are you Mom?--and how come I have to wear this when everybody else is......) but the kids grow up and they are out and you are on your own--with an adorable husband if you are very lucky. (hopefully its your own)
But my point is that women live a long time and your life has time for lots of achievements, all different kinds.
For lots of us working and homekeeping are another stage. When my kids were little if the queen of England were going to visit I wouldn't have been able to get up at 4 a.m. to vacuum. But I got up at 5 this morning to go to the gym before going to court, because I need the exercise. (But I still wouldn't vacuum at 4 a.m) If you hang in there long enough --you can do it all; just not at the same time.
Jannie-- I thought a sog was a dog that shed a lot.
Gloria--I agree with you, I can get so much done before work in the morning and its a good idea to move around a lot before sitting at a desk all day.

Count me as another member of the "Early Morning Club" LOL.

I can guarantee I'm home at 5:00am but evenings are another story. Every "one thing" I accomplish in the morning is one less thing I have to find time for after work.

OK, off to church!

Julie

Well I'm not Andrea but when it comes to the clutter thing, I'm right there with here. I too am trying to declutter, get organized and stay organized...as one poster mentioned my main problem is not having a place for everything. That is one of my biggest issues right now. So I'm working on finding a place for things, then deciding what will work best as a holder and then trying to find what I need.

I live in a 2 bedroom condo and have 2 kids, boy 7, girl 6 and they share a room...right now I'm working on organizing their toys in clear small-medium sized plastic containers, the larger clear plastic drawers bins for longer toys etc etc. I've tried the seperating thing before but didn't really complete the job enough to follow through, I tried the throwing everything 1 LARGE bin...that didn't work. Then they want to take this toy or that toy over to grandmas house and guess where it ends up??? In the car.

With their toys and stuff in their room (they share the larger of the two bedrooms) I was obsessed on how their stuff "looked" you know fashion over function...but since I can't afford Pottery Barn cabinets & shelving with cute little baskets for storage I had to get over that real quick, so I'm going with Big Lots Sterolite or whoever makes those plastic containers...which probably works best so they can see what's in them...I think the main thing with the toys is keeping on top of the kids with putting the stuff back in the containers and back on the shelf.

My other issue is homework papers, important papers from their school and of course the everyday mail...I have most of my bills sent me via email so that cuts down on some of the bills coming in the mail but I still feel very very overwhelmed by paperwork....that is another work in progress though.

I can see where the original poster is coming from saying she feels on hold..I get overwhelmed, feel over run by "stuff" and start to feel like I'm just a big mess...You feel like until you can get this clutter "together" your life is on hold...it's like a constant vicious cycle

keeping on top of the kids with putting the stuff back in the containers and back on the shelf.

I'm in love w/ the Sterilite DRAWERS--no lids, just the bottom part. And I find the kids were better about putting the drawers back, than about putting containers back on shelves. And the drawer can be taken out for filling up and then put back in (but it doesn't HAVE to be taken out).

I wish I wasn't so sentimental and could part with stuff.......it is just stuff but it is so hard any ideas? Thanks ddcile5