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intherain_gw

Same parents, kids with completely different organization skills

intherain
18 years ago

Perhaps we've had this thread going before at some point, so forgive me. I'm starting it up again!

We have 3 children - 16 YO DS, 13 YO DS, 10 YO DD. Same parents, same upbringings. Oldest DS and youngest DD have the hardest time organizing anything. I never know what to expect when I walk in their bedrooms. Middle son is completely opposite. He makes his bed every day, folds all his clothes neatly and puts them in his dresser, never has anything on his floor. I feel such a sense of peace when I walk in his room! Interestingly, this organized child is our most tempermental one. Maybe he knows he needs a calm environment to ease his mood swings, I don't know. Our two unorganized children are very calm and easy-going.

Do you notice a big difference between your children and the way they organize their bedrooms and their lives, despite having the same parents, living in the same household?

Sheryl

Comments (18)

  • Julie_MI_Z5
    18 years ago

    Sheryl,

    Same parents, two boys. Except for athletics, our kids are totally different in all aspects.

    Julie

  • stephanie_in_ga
    18 years ago

    Four kids, same parents. My oldest, DS, 12, is very neat. He likes things just so in almost every aspect of life. Keeps his room neat, keeps his notebook organized for school, will do his own laundry, vacuums without being asked because it bothers him. His teachers comment on it, too. He started middle school this year, and his organizational skills pay off. He is proud of this part of himself. I don't know where he learned them, not from me. It's inherent. He is also tempermental, doesn't adjust easily to a change of plans. He still has typical boy habits, too, though. Like not noticing his hockey gear reaks and should be taken out of the bag to air.

    #2 DS is 9. It's hard to tell with him, he has the disadvantage of sharing a room with #4, DS age 3. But he tries. Still, he always misplaces things, spends weeks looking for his gameboy, I have to put his binder back in order every couple weeks. But he cares and does try.

    #3 DD is 6. She could care less. She creates chaos just walking into a room. No incentive seems to matter, it's like she isn't aware of the mess. Now I know how frustrating I was to my mother.

    I would like my kids to be neat, but since I am inconsistent with organization around here, it's hard for me to expect it from them. I don't set up the house to make it easy for them. That's my parenting mistake.

  • maddiemom6
    18 years ago

    5 kids.... and they all are PIGS!!!!!!!!!!!

    well that is not QUITE true... my daughter is very tidy about some things and very very artistic so like her mommy... she has projects out all the time and her room looks like a design studio...exploded!

    My oldest can live in filth that would unsettle the homeless and I cna't get him to understand any better ~sigh~

    My little boys like order but still need lots of help in that matter. I think the biggest blessing I can give them is limiting the amount of stuff they have to deal with and giving them places to house all of their things.

    But it's not like I have room to talk right now so I try to be good to all of them :)

    Maddiemom,

  • susan_on
    18 years ago

    Two grown kids. My DH and I are both very organized. Both of my kids let their stuff get out of control routinely, and then just as routinely; they feel the need to tidy up and organize. My daughter is more organized with her life (keen on her planner) than her physical environment. But I think when they get older (20 and 24) they will both become more and more organized..and not have to play "catch up".

  • quiltglo
    18 years ago

    Four kids.

    Oldest has always been disorganized. Still is, but since he's 21 I leave it to him. He's my grumpy kid.

    11 yo DS is not a neat freak, but he likes all of his "stuff" around and keeps it reasonable well. His room has the most personality and he's my most intersting kid. Most tempermental.

    8 yo DD is just spacey. She needs her daily list or I think she would forget to get dressed. We call her miss fashion faux paux since she cannot seem to match her clothes. Miss pouty.

    5 yo DS is the big immitator. He has his desk set up like Dad's with his pencils in the same type of cup, etc. Has to wear his pants with a belt, always. The screamer.

    If I only had three more, I'd have the seven dwarfs.

    Gloria

  • intherain
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    LOL MaddieMom!!!!!

    Sheryl

  • rosieo
    18 years ago

    Four kids, numbers one and three were born organized (one is obsessively so), they used to pass the time waiting in line at the grocery store by straightening and organizing the candy. Numbers two and four are total pigs.

    The two organized ones have brown eyes, the pigs have blue and green eyes. Don't know if there's a correlation but it's interesting (to me anyway)

  • intherain
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Side note...

    Today I started taking down the Christmas decorations. DD and DS#1 paid no attention. My middle son (the "organizer") asked if I needed help. I almost fell over! He proceeded to take down and very carefully wrap everything before putting them into boxes. What a kid!

    As I was typing the above, my middle son said, "Mom, the family room looks so nice and clean now. I really like it!" He is SO different from the other 2 in every way!!!

    Sheryl

  • datadon
    18 years ago

    I have 2 kids: DS, 23 yrs. (green eyes), a pig his whole life although he'll get a cleaning bug every couple of weeks and clean his rooms (he has a 2 room suite). When he was little I used to clean and organize his room weekly only to be totally frustrated the second he walked in from school and trashed it. So I stopped cleaning and just kept his bedroom door closed.
    DD is 12 yrs (green eyes), a pig and her version of clean room is the opposite of mine. Even her brother (see above) calls her a pig. How can she stand living like that?! She gets grounded regularly until her room is clean. But like I said we have different "clean" ideas.
    My husband (blue eyes) is not a pig so much as disorganized. He'd leave his butt in a chair if it wasn't attached to his body. His closet is large enough to use as a dressing room but his dirty clothes end up on the bathroom floor - always in the same spot - in front of MY closet door. SO I put a laundry basket there. The clothes are still on the floor but next to the laundry basket. LOL
    I (brown eyes) feel best in an organized home. It does not have to be spotlessly clean but does have to be organized.
    Living with my 3 very loved, messy ones is stressful. My New Year's resolution is to lighten up. I will need professional help.

  • susanjn
    18 years ago

    "...always misplaces things, spends weeks looking for his gameboy..."

    Today I'm on a mission to find where the evil, Gameboy stealing elf put dd's Gameboy. I'm cleaning up hot spots in the process. When she was little I used to say she was like a spoon, stirring our house. She would pick up random things and drop them in random spots. Now 11, she just has way too much stuff and can't keep track of it.

    My son never loses anything, and has only a slight case of teenage slovenliness.

    "I would like my kids to be neat, but since I am inconsistent with organization around here, it's hard for me to expect it from them. I don't set up the house to make it easy for them. That's my parenting mistake."

    Oh good, I'm not the only one. At least we're being honest about it, right?

  • bluesbarby
    18 years ago

    Hmm. Interesting about the color thing. My DS is 28 (blue eyes)as a child his room was always a disaster but his person and clothes were always super clean. I swear he went thru 5 outfits a day. And he would take 3 showers. My oldest DD 25 has blue/green eyes. Her room is always cluttered but I know at her apartment the bath and kitchen are always spotless. She also is a clean freak when it comes to herself and her clothes. My other DD (brown eyes) is the most organized about everything in her life. I think she sees it as a competition. Each is soooo different, but that's the fun part.

  • intherain
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Oh dear, I have green eyes.

    "but his dirty clothes end up on the bathroom floor - always in the same spot - in front of MY closet door. SO I put a laundry basket there. The clothes are still on the floor but next to the laundry basket."

    Datadon, that was my husband for 18 years of our marriage. For whatever reason, this year - our 19th year - he's started putting his clothes in the hamper *sometimes*. I feel your frustration - the hamper was RIGHT THERE, but he'd toss it on the floor right beside it. I still find wet towels on the floor, though.

    Sheryl

  • mitchdesj
    18 years ago

    Interesting thread; my 2 adult kids are total opposites in the clean/neat department. My daughter is a virgo and is neat/organization freak since birth almost, ( as are all the virgos I know).
    DS has always been slightly disorganized and not a good house cleaner. He's a taurus.
    Both have blue eyes, lol.

    I've always set a good example but can't say I've actually taught them how to do it.

  • des_arc_ya_ya
    18 years ago

    Both my DS and DD are blue eyed slobs! LOL Also, they're both Libras, as if that makes any difference. DSD is also blue eyed and she's a slob, too. I have blue/gray eyes and am one of these nasty/clean people - let it go and then make a clean swoop of everything! (That's kind of how all three kids do, too.) Oh well.....

  • sadiesmom
    18 years ago

    Oh My Gosh!! I haven't posted here in a long time but now that it's free again, I couldn't let this post go by because this is a constant source of distress for me (though I know most of it is my own fault):

    DS: 13--EXTREMELY organized--more so than anyone else in our family and VERY focused on routines. His friends sometimes tease him about it and frequently remind him that they get great grades, too even though they procrastinate and he should try it sometime. Two weeks ago, DS was flabbergasted that I never made my bed that day--he kept walking by my room all day long and giving us the "whale noise". Finally, about 6 pm, he couldn't handle it anymore and MADE THE BED FOR ME and he was so relieved. I couldn't help myself and told him "Dude--that is not normal."

    DD 10: RARELY knows where anything is. Though her room is clean most of the time because we make her clean it every morning before breakfast, she can't remember where she put anything! Arrggghhh--it is so frustrating. She is my artist and author. Those gene's have to be related! I'm not the most organized person in the world but I try really hard to help her develop those skills better than I did because I know it will make her life easier in the long run....... I always try to point out to her: "See, I'm putting the phone book back in it's spot so I can find it tomorrow." And, she has PLENTY of space and cubbies for her stuff.....

    It is one of the great mysteries of life how two children with the same parents can have such different personalities........

    When it comes to organization I've failed BOTH of my kids.....

    Sigh.......

  • intherain
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Oh good grief! First I hear green eyes are slobs, and now Libras! I'm both!!!!!

    Guess I better not complain about my kids anymore..... (running away)

    Sheryl

  • green_eyes
    18 years ago

    another green eyed libra confessing to being a slob!

  • esga
    18 years ago

    I have no kids, but in my birth family my parents and my 2 sisters have no more than ordinary issues with clutter. I, however, have always been an extreme clutter - though I am not totally disorganized. So when we talk about clutterers coming from families which were also disorganized, I know that's not where my tendencies came from. I have seen how it's done, I am just not motivated to do it myself, and once I put things away they are lost.