What I have been doing is I have a plastic sack hanging on the door knob in my craft/office/junk room and most every time i pick up something I really don't want in it goes. When it gets full, I put it in the trunk of the car and drop them off at either Good Will, Salvation Army etc in town. My husband is pretty good with getting rid of items we haven't used for awhile, especially since we have moved into a smaller house. Then again, when he is gone, things just magically diaspear--and he never misses them.

I have learned that if he asks Where is something? I say I dont know. Never do I say I threw it away if it is at all believable LOL

My DH is the same way. He doesn't understand that it really DOES take up that much space, considering the storage space used for that thing keeps something else on the floor or the counter. So things magically disappear here, too. I wait for trash day and take things out quick! I must say he is learning, though. As the house gets more and more uncluttered and we can find things easier and have places to put things and keep them from getting destroyed or lost, I know he appreciates it, even though he doesn't say that. But he actually agrees to get rid of things now - something he would never do a few years ago when I started this.

My husband never, ever, ever wants to get rid of anything. We don't have garbage service, he hauls the garbage to the dump himself, so it would be too dangerous to sneak anything into the garbage. When I want to get rid of something, I put it in my van and haul it to work and throw it in the dumpster. When he asks if I know where something is that I have thrown out, I just say that I don't know.

Bonnie

I have to magically disappear things here too!

I think my husband actually *likes* it that I just get rid of things. That way he doesn't have to think about it, and it keeps me from pestering him about getting rid of stuff. The only area that DH needs "decluttering" is with his clothes, and that is because his dad LOVES to shop for bargains and is always finding new clothes for DH. So, every so often I just weed out the closet and make a trip to Goodwill. DH has *never* once missed anything I've gotten rid of. (But I know not to ever touch his favorite racing tee-shirts! Yikes!)

Sheryl

I'm glad I don't really have to worry about discord on the decluttering, organizing, putting things away, picking up after yourself front.

In the first place, LOL, I'm messier than DH. Or at least as messy AS.

In the second place, he doesn't argue just because, nor does he have any hangups about how much we spent for it, etc.

We currently are discussing whether to get rid of the folding rollaway bed. DD slept on it for several years, bcs we could fold it up in the day to make room in their room. But now it's in the closet , and it's in the way. We did use it a bit ago, when Grandma Camp was at our house, but that's not a likely scenario anytime soon. So I said, "let's decide if we really want it." He's thinking; so am I.

He *does* sometimes say, "it doesn't take up much room," too, now that I think about it. But if I stay set on getting rid of it, he doesn't object. I think his comment is more a "you're entitled to keep it if you want; don't feel you have to throw everything out."

For those of you who wish you didn't have to be deceitful, what would happen if you wanted to GIVE those small appliances to someone who needed them? OK, this would still be deceit, I'm realizing. But if you told him a friend of yours was wishing she had one, and you don't use yours, and your friend's going through a tough time, would he give them away? Get a friend to be in cahoots with you.

Oh, and I love it when stuff breaks--take it out back and toss it on the back step. Ooops, it broke. "Where's our electric knife?" Oh, it broke, honey, here's the carving knife.

Ha Ha, Tally, that's what happened at our house with a canister from my mother. She gave it to me for Christmas one year. I hated it. It didn't go with anything in my kitchen, but I felt obligated to keep it out, because she bought it for me. One day, after having on my counter for a couple years, I was wiping the counter and I eyed that ugly canister and thought, "Wouldn't it be tragic if it broke!" And suddenly, it fell from the counter and landed on the floor breaking into a million pieces. Ooops. :)

Bonnie

Bonnie, shortly after DH and I married, we were having dinner w/ friends and telling wedding stories. Our fave at the time was the ugly Capo di Monte vase bridal shower present--poop brown, and just the UGLIEST example of that genre I've ever seen. i don't personally like ANY of that pottery, but this was just ugly, ugly, ugly.

We cldn't return it, bcs it was several years old--it had been regifted. DH tried to accidentally break it. Our friend said, "Take it out back and smash it w/ a hammer."

I got that guilty little giggle., the one that means, "oh, that's really me, even if it is reprehensible!"

And I've thought about that for a long time--that "smashing it w/ a hammer" is really what it deserves, and is a way of reasserting YOUR power in the relationship.

(we gave it away to friends getting married w/ a note about weddings not being valid unless you get duplicate presents or something ugly; we feared their friends had too much taste, or were too sensible, so we didn't want them to be challenged on a technicality. we also gave them $)

Yes! I too have a husband like yours.

Here is the background that everyone already knows:
We have three kids. We live in a small house. As an example of how small my house is, three kids share one room and one room is a study. THis won't always be the case but it is now the case. My husband is a saver. He has old highschool notebooks with notes from chemistry classes, for example.

So here are some thoughts based on my experiences with my husband.

1. Put me in the sneaky column. I too get rid of things and never ever remember where they are or where they went. If he can't find it or track it, it's not my problem. If he used it more often, it would not be gone. If it is something that he will miss like the pasta machine that we have NEVER used but once in our whole married lives- I 'lend' it to friends to try. So once in a while he'll make the comment 'you have to get the pasta machine back from...' and I'll say 'oh yeah, one of these days...if they use it, they can keep it'. And let me tell you- the garbage man is my friend as is the local goodwill employees!

2. More importantly- focus on what you can change. I whine enough about what my DH has around the house, but in all honesty- I have a lot around the house too. IT's easier to look at his stuff and find it useless or trashy or clutter than it is to look at my stuff with those same thoughts. I found by going through my stuff and the kids' stuff, I was able to find alot of space.

Having said this- be very careful. If your husband is like mine, empty space means more space to spread out or save the stuff he wants. I am usually very clear with my husband on this space- "Look, see this empty shelf? Empty! Nothing on it! It stays that way. I'm saving this space!" He respects that usually. Or I spread out what I have so the empty shelf doesn't look so empty.

3. Don't think of getting rid of stuff. Think along the lines of storage. How can you corral his stuff or yours to make it look neater, take up less space, be something you can live with? I have baskets in every room. It's not ideal but it's livable. So in the study, we have wires and wires and connectors and spare computer parts galore. What he leaves out, goes in the basket on top of the shelf. He knows where to find it and I can live with it there.

4. Make it incovenient for him. If I have to live around something for a while, I don't. I'll give him a chance to take care of it. I will ask him nicely, I"ll mention it once or twice and then I stop. And one of two or three things will occur.
After a while it goes away. I will either throw it away and it's gone forever. Lesson- you do what you want and I'll act accordingly, you might not like what I do when I act, but I'll do what I need to in order to keep my sanity. I will even explain that to him in just those words. I asked you twice, I waited for you to act on it and you didn't so I did. You get the idea. And of course, I only tell him it went away if he asks after it- whatever it is.

Sometimes I just put it on his side of the bed. He gets the side of the bed with the wall. I'll throw whatever is bugging me in a box and put the box by his side of the bed. He can step around it, move around it, whatever. THe box stays on his side of the bed. If he tries to move it out of the way, I dn't say a word. I simply move the box back to his side of the bed in the way. And if that doesn't work, the box goes away. (see above).

If it is something that you know he wants to keep but it's just ugly, in the way, clutter to you and he rarely uses it, put it up. I put it up high, down low, under things. Think under the bed, on the top shelf in a box (love those boxes) in the back of the closet behind the coats. You get the idea.

5. Discuss and point it out to him when the opportunity arises. Wow, I might say to my husband- look at this waffle iron, we never eat waffles, you don't like waffles, it looks like a potential tax write off to me.

I also will say- you just don't have a clue how much we live around you dear. Look at all these books, these are all yours- see this box of MY books I am taking to goodwill to make room for you? I am doing this because I can't stand the clutter, piles, mess. Really dear, if you wanted to make me happy- you would get rid of or allow me to get rid of some of these things.

I don't know if this is what you wanted or just some sympathy. You have both now- my advice and my sympathy.
Good Luck and let me know if you find the cure.

Ginger

If "it doesn't take up that much space" ... reply "then you won't mind if I store it on your workbench - you have plenty of room". When the workbench vanishes in a sea of unwanted kitchen gadgets and old decor, he'll get th hint.

No single snowflake takes up much space: it's when they start hanging out in numbers.

Heh, my Mom does this. Dad can't throw stuff away he just can't. I mean, what if he wants to USE it someday. So Mom declutters when Dad is gone or gives me things which I promptly throw away. :P

Thanks for all the replies. I just wanted to see if I was the only one that gets gripey about the DH stuff.He seems to think I am. Whatever LOL. I enjoyed reading all the sneaky schemes others have. I now feel that I too am normal!!! Now if I can fit that apple computer in a trash bag, I will part by part.......Carolyn

My DH is a horrible hoarder and he buys a LOT of stuff to hoard. He's got so many "junk drawers" all over the house - 1 kitchen cabinet drawer, plus half of the cabinet above it; 3 drawers in his night stand; 2 drawers in his dresser. He NEVER needs/uses the stuff in these drawers. He fills up all the surfaces in the house with stuff. He junks the kitchen counter top with papers, sale ads, work badges, cell phones, wallets, cash, keys, and other assorted stuff.
He's got three times as many clothes as I do cause he NEVER gets rid of any of it. Numerous golf shirts he hasn't worn in years, pants that don't fit. The floor of his closet is 2' high with a pile of shoes and boots. Yet our bedroom floor is also cluttered with up to 6 pairs of shoes at any given time, to say nothing of his laundry that never gets put away. (Ohhhh, I'm not even going to get started on his laundry habits, I'll sound like a hateful shrew).

I DO get rid of a lot of his stuff, and if/when he notices something is gone, I say "Oh, can't you find that?, I don't know where it could be." But he KNOWS I through stuff away and even accusses me of it when I haven't, and we end up finding it later.

This is probably the biggest area of contention between us because he can't understand the need for less clutter. If I DIDN'T constantly sneak and throw stuff away, our house would get condemmed as un-inhabitable.

Earlier this year, we and his sisters spent many, many days helping his parents go through their large house and get rid of stuff to prepare to move to a smaller one floor condo. They'd lived in this house for 17 years, but had boxes of stuff that they'd left un-opened for 2 moves (30 years!!). They had one metal 4 drawer file cabinet, stuffed, that had gone through 2 moves un-touched. They had 5 irons!!! Cause they kept buying new ones when they couldn't find the others. Clothes from the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s. Food in the pantry that had expired a decade ago!

So I'll keep throwing (or giving) away as much as I can without REALLY annoying DH.

Ahhh... this is an oldie but a goodie.

I just posted that I'm getting rid of extra bedding this week... but I'm sneaking everything out of the house in brown trash bags while my husband isn't looking. Even after I pointed out we haven't needed them in more than 18 months, he would want to keep it all.

I'm worse than DH when it comes to this. He will skim through boxes of papers and throw the whole box out. I will then go through the garbage bag to check on what he's thrown out and I often find important papers in there. The only problem is that I can put these boxes in front of him in the living room and it will take him weeks to even open them up. When I did all the decluttering this year, I put everything that is DH's in the walk-in closet under the clothes. I didn't feel a need to get rid of any of it.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that two of my small appliances stopped working. Before I could even turn around he took them and threw them out. I've replaced them since but I would have held onto the old ones just in case they somehow would start to work again.

I can actually state that it is in my gene pool -- yes -- generations of women on my side of the family have sneaked things out to the garbage. Learned my techniques from my mum!! Dark green/black garbage bags have truly saved many marriages. So have friends who "rush over" with a van or truck so we can make a hasty run out to drop off bags at Goodwill.

I am married (for just about 25 years) to a Pack Rat. He now runs a small home business selling things on EBay -- and so --- makes money from stuff. Really. The business is now run out of the two-car garage -- and I fight to keep things "within some sort of limits" or our house would be simply over-run with piles of things waiting to photographed or measured or listed.

We are opposites here. And the clash could be scenes from a sitcom. He wishes I would get rid of stuff more often. I HATE when he throws away stuff that should be recycled. He'll get so fed up with my collection of plastic grocery bags that he'll throw them in the trash. I'll take them out, saying no, they have to go back to the collection bin at the grocery. He'll say then take them, but I keep forgetting.

You should have seen us unpack our move last year, I was smoothing, folding and saving all the packing paper possible. I hear some of you sighing, you think I'm hopeless. But it's great paper, I had 101 uses for it, and I've used up all he would let me keep.

He doesn't understand my piles of outgrown kids clothes. He says "just take them all to goodwill TODAY when you're out and it's done." I say no, I have to go through them, some might fit kids I know, some get sent to my nephew, I have to think about it.

He HATES large, plastic kids' toys. Every time we've relocated, he's sneaked a couple into the donation pile or yard sale. Today, the neighbor cleaned out her kids toys, they are older, and found a couple things they thought my 3 y/o would like. He loved them. I thought, what they heck. They're free, they make him happy, I'll get rid of them when he's tired of them. Never mind that Christmas was 5 days ago and he hasn't played with everything yet. One is large and plastic and loud, I knew I'd get a dirty look from DH for that one. Did I ever! Yes, I have older boys, we have plenty of hand-me-down toys already. I didn't say it was a good decision.

He often drops the hint as he leaves for work "Any chance THAT might be gone when I get home?"

BUT.. he just accepted 2 huge speakers from his high school days his own mom wanted to get out of her attic. Each one is as big as our TV and at least 25 years old. No idea why he wants them. They're in the garage, wouldn't it be tragic if I backed the van into them?

Obviously we don't have the same standard on what is worth keeping. Either way, we can all use the phrase a friend taught me as they key to her marriage. It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Stephanie,

I HATE it when husbands are right! LOL

Recycling only works when you actually recycle the stuff. Maybe you could put them in the trunk of your car so the bags are there for the next grocery shopping trip?

And pack up the piles of kid clothes and take them to Goodwill today. It's faster and easier than thinking about it, and it's done. Or, ship them ALL to your nephew. Just get them out of the house!

Once I decide something has to go, I like to get rid of right away and admire my work. :)

As a Christmas gift to me, my two teen daughters de-junked the house,swept and washed the floors, and put out everything they found in the garbage. I looked through the bags and saw nothing I wanted saved. But the garbage truck hasn't come by in two weeks. They skipped due to the Christmas and New Years holidays being on the two Mondays that were/are our usual pickup days. So the cans and bags are still out on the street. I can't wait for them to be gone,gone,gone. I just hope Daddy Dear doesn't look in them and decide to "rescue" anything.

Jannie,

Good for you! I know what you mean about having them sit around and running the risk that someone will look inside. We were lucky that our Monday pick-ups were just delayed a day.

I've been known to wait till my husband leaves for work on trash pick up days then sneak something out to be discarded before he can see it and indignantly declare 'that can be used!'. Latest of this ilk was the iron that was replaced by a new one for Christmas. This iron technically worked, as in it heats up and presses clothing. But it had something wrong with the misting/water function so as soon it heats up fully while you iron great blobs of water randomly drip out onto the clothing, which made it NOT usable. I go to this much length to explain why 1) I discarded it when I got an iron that works but 2) my husband would have insisted vehemently that there is no reason to toss it. "But it WORKS" would have been the battle cry. Oh, we have yet another iron he tried to 'fix' years ago by taking out all the controls(!). So that iron can only be plugged in whereupon it heats up to max, steams like a runaway locomotive and can't be adjusted in any way. Oh and if you use it for more than a few minutes the handle heats up so much you can't hold it. "But it WORKS!" I haven't tossed that one yet because he now uses it to iron his own cotton hawaiian shirts; swears it is the greatest ever. Sigh.

Anyway, I do the trash pickup thing. I have taken trash to my MIL to put out in HER trash. This isn't always feasible though because she lives a couple of blocks from us and he goes by her house daily on the way to work. I even routinely take trash up to the university where we both work, only a few blocks away, and toss it into a dumpster there. I sometimes hide small items in the trash and bag it, then put it out before he notices.

Today I have a good window of opportunity. He is out boating all day and it's my normal cleaning day anyway. I may tackle my son's bedroom while they are gone :).

Ann

When I go on one of my weeding out missions, I put the bags in the trunk of my car, which DH never drives. That's my secret hiding place. ;-)

Ann,
At least your iron is small enough to disappear. I'm still working on a plan to eliminate useless furniture (what good is a table with a rolltop that won't roll and a broken drawer?) and a half-working TV.

Funny story. I had cleaned out the MBR walk-in closet on Saturday, moving all my clothes to another bedroom closet. DH was in the bedroom at the time and knew I was working on it. Last night, he asked me where my clothes were. He hadn't even realized half the stuff in the closet was gone for 2 whole days.

I am laughing at all these posts. Who knew that there were so many hoarding hubbies out there?

My husband is addicted to accepting hand-me-down furniture, even if we don't need it (which at this point, we don't!). Apparently the word has gotten out in our social/family circles that we will take anything, even though I have made attempts to thawart all these charitable donations. Recently someone's grandma (seriously it was a friend of a friend) died and we ended up with her rolltop desk, washer and gigantic hideous buffet cabinet. I was mortified when the truck rolled up that time. And don't even get me started on the number of couches he's accepted. I finally had to put my foot down when I heard a 64 inch (this is freaking huge!) ancient, old, TV was coming our way. I probably wouldn't have objected if it had been relatively new, but it was old and crappy. Like I need that taking up more space. His motto is "well we can always get rid of it." Then why are we accepting it? His mother was the worst, always showing up with lamps, end tables and other crap THAT SHE DIDN'T WANT, so of course we HAD to take it. I could go on for days!

i too am married to a clutterbug. my hubby is constantly bringing stuff home from the thrift store, dumpster, yard sales, whereever he finds a "great deal" (as if we don't have enough of our own crap). His mother has passed on, so of course he has to hold onto the sentimental stuff he has from young adulthood and childhood. Such as the pine cone in an old jar ( I don't know the details on this, honestly I've never asked) and the picture of HIS MOTHER when she was a baby (I have been told by him that these two items must be prominently displayed in our home, so they currently reside on a shelf in our built in wall unit in family room). Next, there are the pair of UGLY AS SIN candlesticks his mother made when she took some sort of pottery class back when Eisenhower was president. Oh yeah, and there's the pair of fire engine red crocheted (adult sized) booties she made for him. (thank god these don't have to be on display). He has threatened me with death and divorce if i dispose of any of these items. The non-mother related clutter that he accumulates, I just haul out to his shed and toss in the center of the floor. Then, when he gets mad that he can't walk in there, I offer to "clean" it up for him and freecycle it all.
Now, I am not totally innocent, (but I am 1000 percent better than him). I have a picture that my mother gave me that I cannot stand, but I hate to hurt her feelings, so i keep it in my closet and before she comes over, I hang it on the wall. Luckily she lives out of state and can't just "drop in".
Wow, between DH and myself it sounds like we have mother complexes..lol.

Emmhip, I thought MY husband was the King of Hand-me-down-ville until I read about yours. Much of the furniture I want to toss was also not ours to begin with.

Jiggreen, you make me laugh with the UGLY AS SIN candlesticks. Want to trade for DH's grandpa's big paint-by-number pictures? As a helpful hint, I have often sent "must be displayed prominently" oddities to the least used room of the house for "safety" considerations (you wouldn't want the pine cone in a jar to get broken, would you?). LOL

Well now we are getting a card table for the basement. I'm not sure where we are going to put it, as there is no room! Of course the card table is coming from some friends who thought we would love it... I think it's more like they knew we would take it! This summer I am having a yard sale and the furniture I don't want is going. DH will have to say his goodbyes to the ugly lamps, end tables (there are 4 of them and we don't use any of them), hideous rolltop desk, random tables and couches. I will prevail!

emmhip

You may find that at the yard sale no one will take the ugly end tables and lamps! I hate when that happens.

My husband has an addiction to horrible auctions. He is getting my 9yr old hooked too. He brings home rusty farm equipment, broken appliances and crap in general. I always tease him and say there will be a huge auction the day of his funeral.

Emmhip,

If you just gave away the furniture, it would be gone NOW. I think that's another reason I don't have yard sales... once I decide to get rid of something, I want it gone ASAP.

We used to have those ugly lamps, stored in a corner all together like a pack of hyenas, and DH fussed when I tossed them to the curb. He thought we should keep 8 of them (NONE were ours to begin with) in case our ONE (one!) table lamp in the house quit working. I was delighted to inform them that in NO case would those lamps EVER set in the living room, so it was a pointless idea.

Well, we are really trying to get ourselves organized as we have our second child coming sometime in the next 6 weeks or so. Told DH he HAD to declutter his furniture collection and I think my hormonal rage scared him enough to make him believe that this time I was serious. We have gotten rid of an old carpet, some of the end tables, speakers, a computer desk and a few other things he was holding on to. I even managed to ditch some of his ripped t-shirts when he was out, he has yet to miss them. We repainted our bedroom and I tossed tons of stuff that we were both holding onto, and was able to store some of the stuff we both wanted to keep. All in all I have had a great last week as far as decluttering and my stress level has gone way down. I am a happy camper!

Emmhip, you're nesting big time! Good idea to use those hormones to your advantage!!

Here's a question, how many t-shirts does one man need? There are 7 days in a week. 30 in a month. 52 weeks a year. 365 days in a year. I keep threatening to count out his t-shirts and give him a 'ration' to keep it under. I swear he has 100 t-shirts. And he still keeps buying t-shirts! He has one to commerate every sporting event,concert,etc. And it is easy to figure out which ones he doesn't like or wear, because he never puts the laundry away. If I just don't put his laundry away for say, 3 weeks, it's pretty clear which shirts he passes over. I've threatened, um, I mean, offered (LOL!) to just purge those but NOOOOO - too traumatic for him. Sigh...

Maybe I should do what I do with dd's toys, hide them, and wait a few months, then sneak them out of the house.

I wouldn't throw out those t-shirts. At least for dh, when a team is doing really well, even if it's years in the future, he'll want to wear that particular t-shirt he bought years ago. Or if he meets someone new and he wants to impress them, he might wear an "old" t-shirt from a particular concert. He also has a lot of t-shirts but since I have the room in the closet for them, it hasn't bothered me. It's his insanity of keeping every wire he ever purchased that's driving me nuts.

Oh, Marie26--what if you wrapped tape around the prongs (or whatever) of those wires, w/ the date on it? And then, you'd be able to prove to him that it doesn't go w/ anything?

And put a piece of tape (w/ the date) on the tag of those T-shirts, for the same reason?

I like the "hide the T-shirts" idea--and if he ASKS where one is, make him ransom it by giving up whatever T-shirt it is he has in the closet but WON'T wear.

OMG -- DH has stacks and stacks and T-shirts!!!!

And drawers full of socks.

And stacks of sweatshirts too.

Soooooooo -- I'm going to start getting rid of a few at the middle of the stack. Verrrrrry slooooooowly.

Soooooooo -- I'm going to start getting rid of a few at the middle of the stack. Verrrrrry slooooooowly.

May I, as a guy and (ex-)DH, suggest that you don't do that? I can understand that you want to get rid of what you see as clutter. But I would be miffed if anyone decided to clean up for me without my asking, as I'm pretty sure you would be miffed if DH started going through your shoe cabinet or kitchen-gadget drawer deciding which ones you "needed" to toss.

Maybe for your DH collecting T-shirts is like other people collecting spoons or matchbook covers or Christmas ornaments from places you've visited. Maybe not. Whatever, getting rid of his "stuff" without his permission is not something you likely would want to done to you.

I suggest taking the shirts you know he does not wear and offering to store them safely someplace else: basement, garage, attic, wherever. Put 'em in a box and seal it and get rid of it quietly (don't even ask him to put it in its resting place). After X amount of time with it untouched, then you can broach the subject of donating them someplace else (as a unit, not individually). Just don't toss 'em...

Steve has a good point.

But...
it depends on the husband. Mine will not throw out or get rid of ANY article of clothing. Doesn't matter if it's ripped and stained, doesn't matter if it doesn't fit and he hasn't worn it in 15 years. At one point (before Flylady!) I let him get another dresser to hold his t-shirt overflow. Since then, we're back to an overflow on the top of the dresser. He NEVER opens a drawer, just wears whatever is setting on top.

And I'm currently trying to convince my husband to get rid of his flannel shirts. He hasn't worn any of them in 15+ years. The shirts don't fit him. And he HATES flannel shirts and NEVER plans to wear them (he admitted this). Am I the only person he thinks it's totally ridiculous to keep 2 dozen shirts hanging in the closet for no reason??? If he doesn't agree to this soon, the shirts will start to disappear one by one. In a year or two, he won't remember how many he started with.

And the 2 down vests. He has NEVER worn them (they were gifts--and he didn't like them but couldn't be bothered to take them back to the store). They don't fit him now. He wouldn't wear them if they did fit.

And the 6 windbreakers. He hates windbreakers. Never wears them, some were gifts and never worn. He has no intention of ever wearing them, and has admitted he can't think of a time when he would possible want one. Originally he said he was saving them for our sons (who don't want them either). Now we're saving them in case the sons change their minds someday?? Keep in mind these have ZERO sentimental value. Several are now out of the coat closet in a "holding cell" for a while. If he doesn't notice the closet it less crowded, out they go for good.

And sweatshirts. Another problem. He has 3 he will wear, ten he won't. Says straight out he hates them. Why are we keeping an extra 10 sweatshirts?? And no, the boys don't want them either.

And socks! Don't get me started on socks! Everytime I see a holey pair in the laundry, I toss them. That man is hoarding new multi-packs of socks in his drawer, but won't throw out the ratty ones. He has so many socks there is an overflow to the top of the dresser again. Same with underwear. Don't complain to me that your elastic is shot if you've got 4 multi-packs unopened in the drawer. Throw out the ratty underwear for pity sake!

So, like I said, it depends on the husband. If I didn't take action at some point, he would NEVER throw out anything.

True confession: I tossed an old broken paint-type white plastic bucket in a dark (no see-thru) trash bag last fall. I'm sure he was saving it until the day came when he said, "Gee, a broken bucket sure would come in handy right now". We have a bunch of identical unbroken buckets just like it.

So, like I said, it depends on the husband. If I didn't take action at some point, he would NEVER throw out anything.

That's true, it depends on the guy. I didn't see anything in teacats' post that indicated what kind of attachment DH had to the T-shirts, so making them disappear seems -- well, premature, if not a bit unfair. If she knows that he doesn't like them and can't physically wear them (as you know about your DH), then there is an issue with separation, and if you can help him with that, so much the better. :-)

Without knowing what value (if any) the shirts have, however, IMHO "disappearing" them is inappropriate.

I agree with steve. There definitely can be an attachment to certain shirts, even if they have holes. I guess it all depends on your own spouse.

OMG, Julie, my husband is exactly the same! Only no sons to pass them down to. Maybe waiting for grandsons? His tshirts come from the leftover clothes kids leave at our rental apartments. These are GAP clothes. Nice stuff. But my DH will wear the holiest ones. My mom gets upset with him - he'll wear a brand new t-shirt (yes, he still buys them if we go on a trip or to a special event or something) up to work on our Xmas trees or cleaning apartments, but wear one full of holes to dinner at her house. Needless to say I have a whole extra plastic bin of tshirts he hasn't seen in years - in addition to the drawer stuffed with shirts that he only wears the top 5 or so of because I throw them in the wash every few days. He has polo shirts, turtle neck shirts, long sleeved tshirts, button down shirts, jackets, hodded sweatshirts that he comes home with and never wears. But won't get rid of because they're good. But meanwhile, someone, somewhere could actually USE them. Same thing with socks - you'd think we were stocking up for some catastrophe where there weren't going to be any socks to be had! And yes, he also has unopened pakcages of socks & underwear. Luckily the dishes he comes home with I can throw away without him noticing too much. We have about 12 hammers and about 20 worn out screwdrivers. I throw a few in the goodwill box each time I go, but the number we have never seems to change. However, to be fair, I have things that I can't give up, even though I don't really use them. So I store his stuff, and take out the box once in a while and ask if we can get rid of some of it. The last few years I think we have pared down some. My goal is that when we move out of this house, I don't move unwanted stuff.

RJVT,

We have 1 wedding and 3 formal suit-and-tie dinners in the next month, and DH doesn't have a single dress shirt that fits. We went last night and bought ONE (he fussed the whole time).

I'm guessing the shirts that don't fit will remain in the closet? Wish me luck, because today I'm going to try to talk him into getting rid of the "bad" ones. LOL

Good luck Julie! DH has old suits hanging in the closet that he hasn't worn in years. One is the 70s style - corderoy with patches on the elbows. EVERY time (and there've been many) I ask if we can get rid of this now I get a resounding NO! Then I don't even ask about the other 5 or so suits hanging up in there. Needless to say, he wears the same unmatched coat & dockers to everything. I would love to get rid of all the suits and get just ONE BRAND NEW ONE, but no. Maybe I should actually have him try to try these on - that might change his mind ;)

he'll wear a brand new t-shirt (yes, he still buys them if we go on a trip or to a special event or something) up to work on our Xmas trees or cleaning apartments, but wear one full of holes to dinner at her house.

Hmmm ... when I'm doing grungy work, I wear grungy clothes. When I know people are going to see me, I wear something nicer. Your husband obviously sees it the other way. :-)

We went last night and bought ONE (he fussed the whole time).

I'm guessing the shirts that don't fit will remain in the closet?

I've spent a lot of time telling myself I'm going to get back to the size at which I could wear much of the clothes in my closet. And that it would be a shame to toss it when I'd only have to buy it again "soon." "Soon" is going on three years now ... The argument that someone else can use this clothing doesn't sell me very well because every thrift store I walk into (and I walk into plenty of them) has tons of clothes, indicating a supply that far outstrips demand. I have the space; why not keep them? It surprises me that this thinking works for clothes much better than it does for many other items in my house.

Steve, that's what's so funny. I have a drawer with various "work" clothes - t shirts, sweatshirts and turtlenecks that can get covered in paint and ripped, and "good" clothes that I don't wear doing that kind of work. I don't think this even occurs to DH. He likes this shirt, so that's the one he's going to wear today. I guess if he doesn't care or can't see the condition of his clothes, there's probably not much chance of him noticing the condition of the house :) Good thing he has other good attributes going for him!

Steve said: "The argument that someone else can use this clothing doesn't sell me very well because every thrift store I walk into (and I walk into plenty of them) has tons of clothes, indicating a supply that far outstrips demand."

Yes, and no. I frequent several nice thrift stores near us, and the turnover is tremendous. What you see on Monday isn't there by Tuesday. Everything there this week is discounted by half NEXT week. The quantity may stay the same, but the selection changes constantly.

P.S. My husband chose 2 shirts to leave his closet today--it's a start! One he hates and never wore; the other is way too big.