Motivation: You have to REALLY want to improve the house, not just "half-want" to improve it because you feel guilty that you "SHOULD" be living differently. Anything worth having is worth working for.

How to start: Flylady says to start by shining your kitchen sink and keeping the dishes done. That's a no-brainer for me, so I'll suggest this: Flylady's "You can do anything for 15 minutes" really works. Set your timer for 15 minutes. Walk through a room with a trash bag. Pick up obvious garbage. You have Flylady's permission to throw stuff away, so forget whatever your mother told you about saving junk (you can designate separate bags for recyling and charity donations if that won't overwhelm you). Clear the walkways in every room, then the table tops and horizontal surfaces, then the closets and drawers. Do this EVERY DAY for 15 minutes until you're ready to move on. Yes, this could take a while. Be patient.

Another thing Flylady says is you can't organize clutter. Not only that, I find it hard to clean around clutter. Once all the clutter is gone, you'll be able to do "real" cleaning with less effort. For example, it's hard to mop the kitchen floor if it's covered in boxes of stuff. Once the boxes (or whatever) are gone, it's a simple thing to mop the floor real quick.

Your daughter is old enough to participate in the Timer Game, too.

Also, to look at routines another way, you DO have routines! Your routine is to sit and watch TV and ignore the mess. You need to CHANGE your routine. Make it your NEW routine to get the dishes done and shine the sink (it's a "pride" thing, just trust us on this). Then set the timer for 15 minutes and get rid of stuff that doesn't belong, THEN watch TV.

Here's a challenge: Do you remember Flylady's 5-minute Room Rescues? Set the timer for 5 minutes every day and work in the WORST room in your house. For only 5 minutes. Eventually you WILL see a difference. That's how I cleared out our basement. It would work in your bedroom, too. Getting rid of "stuff" is the more freeing than you'll ever imagine.

Julie
P.S. The first winter Flylady gave me "permission" not to save stuff, I was filling a 30-gallon Hefty bag PER DAY. FOR WEEKS. The Salvation Army loved me, and the trashmen probably thought we were moving. LOL

Welcome mamasdaughter (md for short.) We're glad you found us and hope you'll stay for a bit. Here's what I can tell you, based on my own experience.

"What is the answer, the motivator that makes a person get off their butts and do something?"

"You don't have to see the top of the staircase to take the first step." (Martin Luther King-Jr.) Flylady uses this quote and so do others. Will you believe us when we tell you that if you will just begin, you will achieve? There's an element of faith here. A person who runs a marathon doesn't just go sign up and run. They train for months and months and months. Just to run for a few hours. Life is a marathon. Those who do the training do better.

I'll bet when you've tried to do something around the house, you end up saying, "What's the point?" The point is, you are in training. You are training your brain to think differently. And one day you can go the course. But not without putting in all of those days of little steps. Most people will say you'll do "it" when you want "it" bad enough. I'll personally bet, that you really don't know what "it" is!

It's interesting that you mentioned your bedroom. This week is the bedroom week with Flylady. Go ahead and start there. Like Julie said, just 15 min. at a time.

We can hold your hand and cheer you on, but you have to run the race.

Gloria

The first question I would ask is "how's your health?" And I mean both physically and mentally. If you are dealing with depression, you will not have the energy to tackle this job. If you are overweight, you will not have the energy to tackle this job. You need to get to the bottom of this soon, so your daughter doesn't have to relive your teen years as well.

What should motivate you is the fact that YOU deserve what you so dearly want: a clean, inviting home that you will allow you to open your door to anyone. You deserve a wonderful place to live. Start again with Flylady today. Don't wait. You deserve a better life, but no one can give it to you. You have to overcome fatigue, laziness and despair and just do this in fifteen minute blocks of time. Keep posting, even if just to tell us that you've washed all of your dishes. Go girl!

You *deserve* a clean, functional home.

To get one you need to REQUIRE more from yourself. Why do you let yourself just sit in squalor? Only you can answer that. If, as you suggested, it's your early upbringing and lack of knowledge in *how* to clean, then do some research and get some knowledge.

Flylady is a marvelous place to start. Personally, I wouldn't sign up for all the emails. There are so many that you may just sit and read all day. Just check the site daily, and work in the zone suggested.

It's like exercise - you don't have to like it, but you do have to do it.

Here is a link that might be useful: Flylady

Mamasdaughter - Have you had a complete physical exam? Sounds like you may have low blood sugar, which can make you feel like that (no energy or interest in attacking any problem). Please have that checked, at least. It is easily correctible by lowering sugar/carbs and eating more protein, sort of modified Atkins. I speak from experience. I once thought 1/2 of a coffee cake was breakfast......Good luck.

Carol