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Never Ending Battle!!!

Posted by netshound (My Page) on
Sun, Jun 25, 06 at 12:01

What is my problem??!!! I begin cleaning up one roon, in the process, I find stuff in that room that actually goes somewhere else so...I bring it to the proper room it belongs in and set it down "temporarily" till I get to that room. Well...the problem is, I never get to those rooms! Between working Full-Time and a Toddler I never seem to get everything done! By the time I get to those rooms, the rooms I already did are messy again and I have to start over! Its a vicious cycle. And I have a Husband that actually helps in the house! But still, it's not working! I don't have enough energy to keep up, especially knowing within 2 days you won't even be able to tell I've done anything anyways. I need Help!! I just want my house clean all at once!!!!


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Try this. Do not organize one room at a time. Instead, make a list of items that need to be organized, such as office supplies, crafts, music, movies, maps, toys, bills to pay, papers to file, etc. Then pick one category from your list and go around the entire house and garage and find all of those things that belong in this category. Buy a bin or cabinet if you don't already have a place set up for this category and sort into there. It is easier at this time to go through all the papers or toys to decide what you will throw out or give away. If you pick just one category a week, it really won't take that long to finally have your house in order.

It might be hard to break the habit but I wouldn't put items that belong in other rooms into those rooms during this process. You will eventually get to these categories. I would just concentrate on the category of the week.

It's great that you are doing this when your child is still young since you're house will be organized and life will be simpler for you in the years to come. I finally did this when all my kids were grown and out of the house. I wish I had done this years ago. The results are definitely worth it.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

netshound, we changed our household using Flylady's system. It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. You may want to give her a try. It is a good system for working moms to maintain control over the house. We manage this with four kids and my youngest was 2 when we started.

I've found when we are doing pick-up times, I would take a laundry basket and start in the living room. Anything which didn't belong went in the basket. On to the next room and either stuff from the basket was put away or more added. Kept going to either put away or move out of that space.

The trick for me is to separate "cleaning" from putting stuff away. Getting items where they belong can be really quick if you do it for five minutes every single evening. Your child can learn to throw his/her toys in a basket and put dirty clothing in the hamper. Everyone can put their own dishes in the kitchen. It really does take consistency, though.

Gloria


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

I like the idea of not putting stuff in the other room, but instead putting it in the basket. Then, you can put it ALL the way away.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Make sure you have a place for everything. I use to have this problem and then it finally dawned on me that I needed to organize those spaces to work for me. So look at what you are placing in the rooms and make homes for them. Organize your closets and get rid of anything you really don't need. Do you have enough storage, cabinet space, drawer space? I just got rid of tons of clothes I don't even wear.Netshound if you give specifics maybe we can give you more ideas.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Ok, here's some specifics:

Kitchen: I always seem to have a pile of "important" papers on the table. Most of which, I would throw away because they are not that important but as soon as I do that, My husband will look for them! Microwave always has small pile of stuff that I can't throw out but need to save like reciepts, CD's that I listen to in the kitchen..etc..

Livingroom: Well, I have a toddler and my house is to small for a "play-room". Enough said!!

Bathroom: My husbands clothes that he only wore for a couple of hours are always stuffed in the corner for future wearing because he will NOT bring them to our bedroom which I have asked him 100 times to do!! Toiletries left out because linen closet is a wreck!! Of course, no time to clean it out either!!

Bedroom: ALL of our dirty clothes are in a pile because our washing machine and dryer are on the fritz...they do still work but it takes almost a full day to do 3 loads of laundry and we have way more stuff than that. By the time all the clothes are washed...the pile on the floor has returned...NO MONEY to replace washer and dryer!! Tiny, tiny bedroom with no storage and no room for a trunk at the end of the bed. Under bed already has totes of pictures and odd and end things...

Those are just a few things off the top of my head! I just get frustrated because there is not enough time in my day to keep everything in order! When I finally get something in order, another thing is getting behind...then I go and get that in order and the thing that WAS in order before is no longer in order anymore!! My job is very labor intensive and I'm exhausted physically when I get home, I just don't have the energy anymore!!


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RE: The Never Ending Battle!!!

Oh and I almost forgot:

My Daughters room: She has sooo many clothes and jackets that my family gives to her and I know she will only where half of the stuff they buy her but I don't have the heart to get rid of it or donate it...they spent thier hard earned money for that stuff. It would'nt be right to just get rid of it..and I've told them that she has enough stuff!! They just like to give her things. Her room is tiny with a very small dresser and a teeny tiny closet. We are going to get her a bigger dresser, but again...NO MONEY!!

How do you organize with NO MONEY??? Sure they have all these wondeful organizing do-dads but it cost money for the good stuff.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

netshound, here's the real deal. We all have the same 24 hours and we all have responsibilities. It's not a contest of who is the most tired or has things the hardest. Since this "is your life" let's figure something out.

First stop. Sit down with the DH and do a come to Jesus meeting. You are tired. Just like every other working mom with a small child. He doesn't get it. Just like every other DH I know. Tell him you are overwhelmed and exhausted and need to divide up the household jobs since you both work all day. If he isn't responsive, please consider some counseling.

Take the time to list the important stuff. It should really be a fairly short list like, pick up clutter in living room, put dirty clothing (everyones) in hampers, do dishes, do laundry, cutting grass, etc. No accusing him of not doing anything. Just have the list and divide up the jobs. It's usually better that you take ones that bug you and need to be done daily like the dishes, or the DH will let them pile up.

One of you take the laundry to the laundramat on a day off and get it done and put away. A toddler doesn't need more than a couple of laundry baskets of toys. Get the excess gone.

Look at your prime time. Is it before you go to work? Take 15 min. and do specific tasks. I do a load of laundry every single day, come hell or high water. Every day and we never have a build-up. I pick up very quickly, every single day (my kids pick up too). We never have a build-up. These two jobs take less than 10 min. and it's well worth the little bit of time. Make a promise to yourself that you will do just a few tasks for a very short period of time. Within a couple of weeks, you will see a real change without too much work.

I know several working moms who are really tired after being on their feet all day. When they get home, they set their timer and don't even sit down until they've done just a few minutes worth of something. They know if they sit, they'll never get up! So they don't. But they also have things divided up so they don't say to themselves that they have a ton to do.

It's important to quit seeing the entire house as one big job. You only have to pick up the living room clutter. You don't have to "clean the house." You only have to get the dirty dishes gone, you don't have to clean the house. If items can't be put away, then you have too much stuff for that space. Just grab 3 items a day to leave the house. Can you take them to work with a free sign?

A household is really a machine. You can't do something once and then be done. Little things need to be done over and over. It really never stops. But when you think in terms of little jobs instead of big jobs, it can become managable.

Gloria


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cross posting

Oops, we're on at the same time and cross posting.

Organizing isn't about doo-dads. You don't need a dime to organize. But get real with yourself, please. If you state that your child has too many clothes and you thing it's "wrong" to get rid of them, then the consequence is your home will be packed with stuff you'll never have enough time or energy to deal with all of it.

It's the relative's choice to spend their hard earned money however they want. It's also your choice to let those items go to someone else if it makes your life easier.

Gloria


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

I never said that getting organized was some sort of contest and I also did'nt say I was more tired than anyone else with a full-time job and toddler, I was just stating some facts so when people gave me some direction, they knew where I was coming from. And..as wrong as it may be...I'm sorry but I can't get rid of these items that people buy. Money is hard to come by in my family and I just would'nt feel right just giving this stuff away. I guess you and I don't see eye to eye there. I'll have to somehow try and get organized by keeping some of these items. Our house is barely 900 sq. ft. and it was built in the 50's..storage was NOT a priority back then. I try and keep a pretty tight ship around here but somehow am losing the battle. Morning is not a possibility to do anything. I'd have to get up at 4:30 am and that is NOT going to happen. That would make for a hugly LONG day and I would be spent by 1pm with still half aday to go at work! I'm not a spring chicken anymore(I wish I was!) Evening would be the best time but then how much time does that leave me for...living??? I guess I want it all. I want to have a life and have a clutter-free house. Maybe thats impossible. And counciling is obviously out because as I stated before, My husband actually helps me out in the house. Maybe I'm just a big whiner...oh well. I'll think of something....Clutter, here I come!!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Where are you putting your daughter's clothes? How about getting a rod that hangs from the top rod to double the space. These are not expensive. You can hang up all her clothes. Babies R Us has given me a bunch of hangers whenever I've asked for them. Decide on laundry baskets or bins and when they are on sale, try to buy a few for the toys. Or perhaps there is room for a couple of bins on the top of her closet that you can sort the toys into.

I think you are having a problem of "seeing" the clutter. If it can get put away, you won't feel so overwhelmed.

I'd ask DH to take your daughter to the laundromat one day during the weekend so all the clothes could end up being put away that night. While he is gone, take that time to tackle your daughter's bedroom as well as your own. Come up with a plan on where all the clean clothes will go before he cleans them.

One thing that has worked for me in the past when DH also threw his clean clothes whereever was to put up a 4-hook rack from the dollar store in the bathroom. He then would hang up his clean clothes there. Again, you'll feel better when things are off of the floor.

I'd just focus on DD's room and your own for now. Once these are under control, you can try to see what else is bugging you in the house and again, when DH and DD are out of the house, tackle that next.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

:::: banging head against wall ::::

Netshound,

I am more of a lurker than a poster/contributor to this forum -- but I had to delurk here for a moment to suggest that you read back through posts and you will see 1) lots of useful tips that could apply to your situation and 2) that Gloria (quiltglo) is a major contributor to all of that good advice.

We offer suggestions with sometimes-needed brutal honesty, but always respectfully and with the interest of helping the original poster.

"Tough love" is often a motivator for us who so desperately want to be more organized, and you will sometimes find that here on these forums, but always with the best intentions.

I might be wrong, but it seems you were offended needlessly --

Step back, take a deep breath, make yourself a cup of tea, and read through some threads here to get the "feel" for the tone of this community. And please stick around -- you'll be glad you did!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Thanks Marie26 for the advice. Your right..seeing the clutter drives me the most crazy! If I could just get it put away! I thought about a double bar for my daughters closet but i put her laundry basket in there so its not out in the room so she'll have more area to play in there. In hopes to keep some of the toys out of the livingroom! And to tell you the truth, she does'nt have alot of toys out..it's books! She loves them, they are all over. We are trying to teach her to put away but that won't happen over night! As for the husbands clothes, thats a great idea! I'm putting one of those hooks up tomorrow! I swear sometimes he's like a child!!

I think alot of it with me is I have so much going on at once, I just want to have everything in its place so when it's time to relax, I can in a nice calm, comfortable place! Whats your idea for keeping what I have already tacked neat while I work on a new area? When I go back to what I did not to long ago..it's cluttered again!!!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

I can give you advice even if I don't always follow it myself. Life does seem to get in the way of putting things away, especially toys and clothes. But if you can make it a habit of picking things up and putting them in a bin or hamper, you'll feel much better. Another habit is making sure the clean clothes always get put away immediately. That will help you deal with the 2 bedrooms.

What's going on in the kitchen and living room that's driving you crazy?


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

netshound, we may share a common *bad* habit. When something looks so overwhelming, I have trouble tackling it. If I try to concentrate on only one messy room at a time, I see every messy room including the garage, the shed, the yard, the car.... You get the picture. I recently sold my house and had to forfeit my loaded garage to the new buyers so they could store their stuff. I kid you not, I walked in circles and got nothing done. Didn't know what to do first. Bless my neighbor's heart, he came over and helped me and within a very short period time, my garage was emptied and clean. He just dove in which made me finally dive. Start in one room and clear it out to your liking. Move all the extra stuff to other rooms - even if it is to the point of creating pure disasters elsewhere. Once you see your clean and empty room, you'll get the motivation to clear out the next disaster zone. Just keep up with the first clean room so it doesn't go back to the way it was before.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Netshound- I feel for you!! especially working ft and having a toddler. Here are some ideas from an older mom who has been there done that!!! and on the cheap too.
Toys- Use Large rubbermaid laundry baskets for toys. Easy to get to easy to put away. Or a nice huge basket with a top. I could never afford one at the time so the laundry baskets worked for me.
Kitchen- use photo boxes, baskets or envelopes for receipts, drawers with baskets for CDs and a notebook with clear pages for important papers and a babysitter list and emergency call list.(my microwave sounds like yours)
Add hooks on your doors to hang up stuff in the bathroom. ( You can find these at the hardware store for cheap)
Go to the dollar store and buy those bins and baskets for your toiletries. I just added two small square ones in a drawer for my makeup and its so nice to not have it crammed somewhere.

Maybe box up the extra coats or use the extra hanging method. That's a toughie. If she can use the coats thats one thing if not I would try to find someone who can. I wouldn't worry about the expense if they are making you upset. You can also resell them if they are in good quality at a consignment shop. You can make good money at those kid's consignment shops.
Now as for hubby - mine does the same thing. I have to work around him when it comes to his clothes. He has way too many and I have had him get rid of some things he doesn't use. In fact I need to buy more hooks because I noticed he was hanging stuff up in my closet!!!!! He also has gotten in the habit of hanging stuff on our bedpost which really drives me nuts. Maybe another laundry basket if you have room in the bathroom???? if you have an idea for my bedpost let me know.....


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

I have often been cursed/blessed with family members who buy stuff for my cute DD that she doesn't need.

I finally, frankly, had a tantrum. I even asked, "what did I do to you, that you hate me so much, and want to destroy my home life?"

I really had to have hysterics before my loving, lovely, generous MIL woudl STOP BUYING CLOTHES OR TOYS FOR MY KIDS!! She'd say, "even if they only wear it once, it's worth it."

meanwhile, the dresser drawers were crammed, and stuff was in the way. My kids and I were fighting about picking stuff up, etc.

She literally couldn't wrap her mind around the idea that the stuff was a burden--the hysterics were the only way I could get through to her that her presents were more pain than pleasure.

I haven't gotten it completely licked, but frankly, them buying stuff I can't possibly fit in my house is MEAN TO ME!!!

And all their gift-giving not, not, not, not about them "helping" us or even about whether the kid really wants or needs it. Their gift-giving is frankly all about THEM. It makes THEM feel good, so that's why that do it. They get to feel all magnanimous, and they get the fun of shopping and buying. It's selfish.

Of course, we're all selfish; that just people. We all give people gifts because we want to, and we like how it makes us feel. But it's out-of-line selfish when those gifts become the sorts of burdens they are becoming for you.

If they really wanted to help you bcs money was tight, they'd check to see what you actually needed. they wouldn't buy a second or third winter coat.

I told my family quite politely several times. Then, I just had to have a breakdown--frantic, overwhelmed, etc.

Your DD is young, so you are at an early stage in this. But the faster you nip it in the bud, the safer your home will feel to you. (It doesn't feel like any sort of haven to you, does it?)

And if you truly can't bring yourself to tell them to knock it off--or, perhaps more politely, to check with you before they buy something, because there is SO little room in your home--then you need to get your head around the idea that their generosity is not supposed to be a burden to you.

Find some other way to give that stuff away--someone else in the family, maybe. Or return it for some money you can use to buy double rods for her closet.

The other thing I do is make MIL keep it at HER house. Especially toys, but I've done it w/ clothes , too. She doesn't have that much room for them either, but if she's goign to buy them, she can cope. Even that extra jacket I'd leave at grandma's. Point out that you have one, you can't fit another int he closet, maybe grandma can keep it at her house. Then just be careful not to let it get in the car when you go home. And bring it back if she delivers it.

Or say to the relatives, "Susie could really use a closet rod" or something.

If nothing else, remember this: If you curse them when you look at that extra winter coat, etc., then what is in your home is a little piece of evil that works daily to destroy your relationship to them. Get rid of it, to protect that relationship.

I sometimes disagree quite subtly w/ Quiltglo sometime. I value infrastructure--doo-dads. Well, not "doo-dads" but shelving, dressers, hanging rods. The physical places to put the stuff you need. Sure, you can have too many of them, but having the right number and the right size can make a big difference. If nothging else, it'll make you stop using "too small dresser" as an excuse to justify owning more stuff than you need.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Thank you all so much for the feedback! I actually have told some of my relatives today that for her Birthday just give her money for savings account! She, and I, will be thanking them when she is filling out her college applications! If they want to give her something that will be put to good use, I can't think of anything more important than $$ for college because she is going to need it! Instead of a toy or some other gift, my parents gave her shares in stock! That was a great idea. I wish more people thought on those lines and then maybe we would not be busting out over here! I actually am going to try and do some weeding out when the Husband is gone to work. He's such a pack-rat! Then I'll have the freedom to start chucking things out without him saying,...we should save that.!! I'm in the middle of painting my kitchen and when that is done..all my junk in those drawers will be gone thru! I think there are still bibs in one of the drawers!! Don't need those...well maybe I better keep 1 or 2. She still is a little piggy when she eats! Thanks again so much for the support. It's nice to know I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of stuff!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Tubs worked great for me as well. Bought those square tubs with covers and put toys inside and categorized according to (puzzles, games, dress-up clothes, plastic animals, doll house stuff) and put labels on them as well. Only one tub comes out at a time. Sometimes one slips out (my fault or my husband's - usually his - - and he lets pieces go all over and put them away by just throwing it all together) He tries. I have the puzzle box cut with the picture of the puzzle and the pieces in large zip lock bags. No mixed up puzzles.

Other than that, all else is a mess. LOL. I buy endless organizing containers and boxes and then have to organize by organizing containers. More problems yet.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

When my 3 children were litttle, I had their toys separated into tubs. Before another "set" came out, they had to put the other one away. And, every night, the toys were all picked up and put away. I'd often help them, but it happened (with 3 under 4 years, it would have been a disaster any other way!) You could also get one of those pocket organizers. I bought a big one at Staples and labeled it. I have warranties, school records, instructions, etc. in it and keep it in a kitchen cupboard. Do you go through your kids' clothes and toys a few times a year? I used to clean out before summer, when school started, and then before Christmas. This really kept the clutter down. Good luck.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

I did the same as Maryanne when my kids were small. Everything was kept in a container, and they always put something back before taking something else out. If I was home with them that day (off work) we would pick up before morning snack, pick up before lunch, before nap, before going out, etc. It wasn't a chore, we just did it together and chatted while we did it. It hardly took any time that way, and kept me from feeling overwhelmed. I'd go through the kids clothes at least twice a year, to keep clutter down. I keep warrantees and manuals in plastic pockets in binders.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

I used to be good at organizing...then I got married...then the baby came along!!! It went downhill from there! It just seemed like I was wasting my time going thru things because next time I turned around, it was like I never even did it in the first place. Just very frustrating. Sunday is the big day to start going thru things. My husband is working! I'm going to start with the junk drawers in my kitchen, then move on to the linen closet. If I have'nt used it in the last 6 months, it's outta here! Then I'm moving on to my bedroom. I don't care if I have to throw ouy every piece of clothes I have..if I have'nt worn it in 6 months..it's gone! There are enough cheap clothing outlets now that if I need something in the future, I'll replace it at some point. I gotta lessen the load!! I get so overwelmed I almost think it's a sickness. I get so far under that it actually makes me lazy, I don't even want to start because I figure why bother? Sunday, I'm taking the plunge!! I'll let you guys know how I did. Thanks for all the advice!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Good for you, netshound! I'll be thinking of you on Sunday. One thing that I've learned is that when you say on this forum that you will do something, it's almost like a contract with yourself. I know that when I've declared that I will do something, I keep working at it so I can report back. That gives me the incentive to keep going, knowing that I can say "I did it!".


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Ok, here's my first update...Husband is working today so the de-cluttering has started! Kitchen is done! I went thru all my drawers and threw everything out that was'nt needed! I had old phone books from 2004 still in there and parts to things that I was'nt even sure what they went to! There were baby bottles still in the cupboard, my duaghter is 2!!! Throw away!! Since we are not gourmet cooks I threw out some utensils that I was'nt even sure what they were used for. I brought a box in and put anything I thought could be garage saled in it and brought it to the basement...thats a diffrent story..I must have gotten rid of 20 plastic bags, 5 huge gift bags and 10 brown bags that were just crammed in one of the larger drawers! No need to hold onto those. Now I'm moving onto the linen closet. I bought some small blastic baskets to sort stuff that is mine, my husbands and my duagthers and then the rest to keep the diffrent catagories together..mouth, skin, shampoo's, etc... We'll see how that works! I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Wow! I'm waiting for the next update! You are definitely on a roll!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Good for you!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Ok...Linen Closet...DONE!!! I got rid of so many toiletries that we just don't need. Some of it was expired anyways!! I sorted everything that was left into baskets. I have one for soaps and shower stuff, one for mouth, shaving, perfumes/colognes, skin and then one for each of us in the house. What a diffrence when you open the door! I hung hooks on the back of the door and instructed my husband that he is to use them or else! No more clothes on the bathroom floor! Then I moved onto my dresser and got rid of 2 trash bags full of clothes that I don't wear anymore. Now I actually have room for my other clothes when I'm done washing them! I still need to go thru the closet though. Uugh!! Husbands home now though. The rest will have to wait. He hates seeing me trhrow things away! I swear, sometimes Men are worst pack-rats then we are!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Take your deserved break. As I said before "you are on a roll" and that feeling doesn't disappear until you've finished.

I'm looking around at the mess in my house and know that tomorrow I must tackle it. You've given me the incentive. I also have a closet holding my clothes that I am trying to get myself to go through. There are so many items I know I pass over when looking for something to wear. I think it's time for me to finally say "gone".

Let me know when you are going to continue with your organizing.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Hi everyone, I'm new to this website and I feel like I have met people akin to myself here! amazing. Netshound, I have read all of the posts here and wow, you really have made some progress. I am also very impressed at all the good advice everyone has given you. I am going to use some of that myself. I am married to a serious pack rat. My first husband, who died 6 years ago, was a Marine and VERY organized, almost neurotic. My 2nd is not organized, in the least...could care less how the house looks, or the yard. In other words, he was a bachelor for many many years till he met me, and I guess I really rocked his world because he didn't know what to think the first time he came home from work and I had ripped all of the old carpeting off the stairs (nasty!) and had a HUGE pile of rubbish to throw out in the middle of the kitchen. Let me tell you, needless to say, this house looks very different from 5 years ago.
Anyway, you have to feel good about the changes you have made today. Take a rest. Its very easy to get overwhelmed. I learned this trick: organize one drawer, shelf, box, whatever at a time. Just one a day. Think of what we all could get done in a week! what a change that would make.
Hugs to all
Rose


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Welcome Rosey! It's always nice to chat with someone new! Yeah, today was a cleansing day for me. I got rid of alot of weight off my shoulders! I'll be the first to admit..when I get home I get lazy! I'm so tired from work and chasing a toddler I let things go. Now, I'm in the process of trying to catch myself up again! The family and I went for a nice walk, of course followed by ice-cream to reward myself for a job well done! I will definitly be working on my bedroom next! It felt so good to get some of the smaller things out of the way, now..on to bigger things!!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Hi netshound, you are NOT lazy! You are a mother with a household to run. I might be 42 with 2 grown kids, but I DO remember how hard it is to keep up! Don't give up, give yourself a break. You have made progress! Wonderful job by the way. And, when I was a young mom, my neighbor came over to catch me on the floor, on my hands & knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor (had no mop, very poor military family!) and she said, Rose, your son will be grown and gone in no time. Ignore the dust bunnies and enjoy your son.
I took that advice, and you know what, I learned to relax that day. I still fretted here & there and got very tired chasing 2 kids under 5, but you only get to hold them for a little while, when they are young...they grow so fast! Anyway, good job on your progress. Slow & steady!
Hugs
Rose


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

"And..as wrong as it may be...I'm sorry but I can't get rid of these items that people buy. Money is hard to come by in my family and I just would'nt feel right just giving this stuff away."

Hi netshound, and congratulations on your progress so far! I wanted to comment on what you wrote above. I think it is important to be respectful of each other, but I also think that someone's boundaries can often constrict what they *think* they can accomplish. By this I mean that feeling as you do above, you probably aren't going to be able to get to the goal of an uncluttered, clean and organized space-at least for your daughter.

I deal with this thought process constantly, from my husband and his mother (who lives 2 blocks from us and is very involved in our lives). Both of them are passionate about never getting rid of something that is still useful, or that they spent X amount of money buying and so on.

Perfect example: the other day my MIL was talking about kids' bicycles. I was astounded to learn she has all 3 of her grandchildren's bikes from when they first started riding (the 3 grandchildren are now 17, 17 and 14 YO!) stored on her back porch. Nobody in our family is EVER going to use these bikes again. Nobody she knows needs the bikes. And yet, she adamantly insists she can't give them away to Goodwill or some other organization because "those bikes cost almost $100 to buy new." Instead they are literally sitting on a back porch rotting, instead of going to some little ones who could use a bicycle.

So that kind of thinking taken to its end point just results in clutter and worse, things being wasted in the end. In your daughter's case, all those clothes will be outgrown even if she doesn't wear them. The toys and books too, will be outgrown. And what a shame if they spend their useful life sitting crammed in a closet or at the bottom of a basket in a child's room, never used.

My philosophy is to think of objects less in terms of the initial cost and more in terms of the utility still to be gotten, whether that is with you (or your family) or with someone else. So getting rid of things to pass them along to someone else who will use them not only frees up your space, it helps that someone else.

Good luck!

Ann


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Ok, another update. I was going to move on to my room but decided my daughters definitly needed it more! We went out and got her a new dreser with deeper drawers, she was still using a baby dresser!! I'm going to go thru her clothes as I put them into her new dresser and box up anything that I can sell at my garage sale next spring. While I'm at it, I'm going thru her closet also. My family will just have to understand. All this excess stuff here is literally causing me to much stress and I have enough of that already! They give me stuff that my daughter has to wait to fit into so in the mean time I have to store it! That's the part that drives me crazy. I think this new dresser will work though. It's only 3 drawers but they are longer and deeper and her clothes are not that big! Maybe she stop living out of a basket! And I can actually put the stuff away after it's clean!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

You've hit upon a small solution to a big problem. I'd look at all those clothes that dd has yet to fit into as the same as hand me downs from an older sibling. You'll be happy you have them down the road. Can you just put them into a box and keep it on top of a closet, organized by size?

I'm glad that you are putting your foot down about future gifts, though, because I can sense your relief in your post to have made this decision.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

She has a couple of wicker baskets on her top shelf of her closet that I believe are still holding un-opened recieving blankets that I got as gifts. I mean, how many of those do you need really when you have a newborn?! I just kept re-washing and re-using so some never even got open! I will garage sale those and maybe use those baskets to hold onto "future" clothes. Your right, I'll be happy when she can fit into them!! She has some expensive blankets that have never even been taken out of the box...should I save them? I never used them because I thought they were to nice and I did'nt want her spitting up on them!!!


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Can you give her the blankets now?

My 4-year-old granddaughter still uses her "baby" blanket. We even purchased a second identical one. The amazing thing is that they are both still in perfect condition. She is at a stage now where she loves to make her bed and really enjoys putting the blankets on it.

If it were me, I'd keep the blankets for her to use to sleep with. Is she old enough to give them to her now? If you can't see yourself letting her use these for sleep, then by all means let them go.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

I think she is old enough but she is a hot sleeper!! She barely stays under a blanket because she gets warm. Even in the winter she just uses a small baby blanket. I have a friend who is going to be a Grandma soon, maybe I can give them to her to keep at her house for when the baby comes.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

I think you've hit upon the perfect solution!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

DD room...DONE!!! Her new dresser is working out great! Fits alot more of her clothes so now she does not have to live out of her basket. Weeded thru a bunch of stuff and boxed some for garage sale and some for a friend of mine who is going to be a Grandma. Today I am cleaning out the closet in the computer room so maybe we can actually store our baccum in there! Wish me luck!!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

I love reading your updates. You really are on a roll.

Last week, I moved all the coats in the hall closet to an empty bedroom closet. Then I put the vacuum cleaner, steam cleaner and floor shampooer in there. I had been keeping them out in the open because I didn't want to drag them out from a back bedroom. And we never hang up our coats in a closet. Once we change the coats for the new season, we hang them up on hooks in the back hallway entrance from the garage.

So it's good to think of other uses for closets, like putting a vauum in the one in an office.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

I'm such a loser! I did absolutly nothing yesturday like I had planned. I just could'nt get motivated! We had such a rainy day here that when my DD went down for her nap, so did I!! I'm going to try again this evening. We'll see.
marie26-thats a great idea about using an exsisting space for something more useful. I'm going to keep that in mind!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

You are not a loser! I have company coming for dinner tomorrow night and I was on a roll but I, too, have been lazy the last couple of days. I'm at the point of doing the rest tomorrow all day.


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Well, I got the closet done. I really did'nt do much. Everything in there is staying. I was able to take out a folding chair that I will just store in the garage with the other one. My husband actually had on the floor covered in a newspaper..get this...a puzzle of "Dogs Playing Poker" that he actually glued together! Yeah, if he EVER thought that he was going to frame that and hang it up somewhere he is dead wrong! Maybe if he had a workshop or something it would be alright but not in the house! Tacky!! He also had an empty box for some computer part he has. Tossed that! I have about 6 roles of wrapping paper standing up in the corner that I need to get a storage bin for and maybe put it under the fulton or something. That will free up alot of room. At least I was able to get the 2 vaccums in there. One is built for hardwoods, the other is for carpet...just in case you were wondering why we have 2! Well at least that is done. DD is about to get up from her nap so I guess organizing is done for the day!!


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Nethound, it sounds as though you've done so much. What's left on your organizing list?


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RE: Never Ending Battle!!!

Well...my bedroom is a casatrophy, my basement is the store-all for everything, and the garage still needs to be done. It's not a mess but it bothers me when things are NOT in thier place. It's a sickness I'm sure! Once I have my garage sale in the spring, I will be able to unload sooo much! I just have to keep on top of things so it does'nt over-flow till then. People always say my house is not messy but I see the stuff and I can't get comfortable knowing it all there to do. Thank God I have a small house!! But thats exactly why I can't let thiings accumulate. It's just to cramped already.


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