Shop Products
Houzz Logo Print
lilydilly_gw

Help me make up my mind, please?

lilydilly
15 years ago

I'm having trouble parting with one item, and I honestly don't know if I should or not.

I have a full length leather designer coat, fully lined in synthetic fur, and with genuine fur collar and cuffs. We live in tropical Australia, but I bought this coat for $40 at a second hand shop in Pennsylvania, for our DS's wedding over there. Fairy tale wedding by a log fire with snow on the window sills, but -20 outside. And because there were blizzards on, I lived in that coat while we were there, and on the trip home, even using it as a sleeping bag in the Hong Kong airport. I had to carry it home to get through luggage restrictions, and DH told everyone that I'd brought home a wild buffalo hide. Well, it is certainly big, brown and furry enough to look like one.

Ok, I might only ever wear it again twice or even just once in this lifetime, but we do intend going back to U.S. to visit our DIL's family again, and if DS and DIL leave Aust. to go back to U.S., we'll be visiting them as often as we can then, and so I keep hanging onto it for that reason. I'd never buy one like it here, unless I paid hundreds of $s, it was a special find even over there in snow country. And even if I donated it, there's no one here likely to want it, unless they were going overseas too, and then they'd probably rather a lightweight down parka or something.

I have room to store it, and I might just regret purging this. Or is that silly to hang onto something because we're likely to go overseas again in winter? I think it's a lovely classic style, even though it's probably years old, and it's in brand new condition. Because we don't wear stuff like that here, I have no idea if it is actually dated looking or not. I figure that when we're overseas, it doesn't matter if we look strange, because we're visitors anyway, so can get away with a few eccentricities.... look at Crocodile Dundee. LOL. Do leather and fur coats actually go out of style? Does anyone wear them much? Should I just donate it and replace it with a lightweight down parka too when/if we go overseas again?

Or wear it over there once again, and leave it behind when we come home?

So I'd love to hear your honest opinions please. I just seem stuck on this item. What would you do if you were me? It'll help me make up my mind. THank you all.

I feel a bit of a dill posting this, after just posting about clothes being like food, and I want to get rid of stuff, but maybe a few, a very few clothes are like old wine??LOL

Thank you for helping me make my mind up.

Comments (17)

  • mvastian
    15 years ago

    Lily,

    I do purge my clothes very regularly and have absolutely nothing in my closet that doesn´t deserve to be there.

    If I was in your situation, I would definately keep that coat, as long as it fits.

    Maria

  • User
    15 years ago

    Two things jump out to me....if you are in a climate in the future where you need to really stay warm, the heck with style...just be warm. Sounds like this coat meets the need. Secondly, I would keep that coat. You have the storage space - what harm is it doing anyone by staying in a closet?

  • talley_sue_nyc
    15 years ago

    I just seem stuck on this item. What would you do if you were me? It'll help me make up my mind.

    Here's what I would do: I would keep it until my decision was clearer. If I had space.

    And you have space. There's nothing with saying, "Oh, gee, I don't know, maybe yes, maybe no, what if, oh, the heck with it. I'll decide later," and putting it back in the closet.

    I *would* say that you should put this question sort of in the back of your mind. Get a little more critical about the coat. Ponder your own cold intolerances more (down is warm, but not warm enough for me; I'm a major cold wimp, so I'd probably keep that coat), be a little more skeptical about whether you have room, where else you could send it, etc.

    Then, when you deal w/ this issue in about 9 months, perhaps you'll have a clearer image of what you would like to do.

  • Frankie_in_zone_7
    15 years ago

    This situation is one in which you're ahead of the game for having purged other unnecessary stuff and not have dupes of so many routine things, in order to be able to have the space to keep several items that are rarely used, but much enjoyed when used for their purposes. Then of course, it is appropriate to re-visit to see if the item remains in style, fit, condition so it WILL be used for those occasions.

    In my own situation, I relate it to a few items I keep only because I use them on certain infrequent but recurrring occasions like business trips to resorts, for semi-formal wear, or for snow days (which we get only once a year or so). If I were on a purging rampage, trying to keep only items that I use regularly, these would get tossed out; but then, in a year when the occasion came up, I'd be out shopping late at night to replace them and often with something that is less well-made or fits less well. That's the key, I think--I am much more likely to keep an item that is very hard to replace on short notice (like a decent swimsuit, or for me, shoes, because I'm hard to fit), or that is highly functional (like a special travel bag that works wonderfully for air travel).
    But, good purging and tossing helps me reduce these types of items to the best of the best.

    The other thing I'm hearing, is that you yourself don't yet have a reason, or enough reasons, for letting it go, and you can visualize how it will work for you, so just don't do it. If in the future on trips to the U.S., you start to find, well, it really is too bulky, or, I look like a bear and I don't like that (I'm just making that up)--this is part of my theory that if you really test-drive your clothes, it creates clarity about such decisions-- then you'll feel like you've got a reason to change to another item that works better. Whereas, if on each trip you say, boy am I smart, this coat is just the ticket, and I'm always ready for a winter trip without fretting over what to take--then you know it's a keeper. So in my resort trip or special occasion analogy, if when I try stuff on and go, oh-oh, something's not right, I just can't wear this-then that means it likely needs to be tossed and just be prepared to shop the next time I need something, or make an effort to be on the lookout for an item that will work for another couple of years.

    The thing about simplicity is not only less stuff, but only the stuff you need when you need it; in some cases it's simpler to just re-acquire it each time you need it, but at other times it is simpler to have it at hand.

  • lilydilly
    Original Author
    15 years ago

    Thank you so much everyone. You are the wisest and the best bunch ever!
    I think by the time I'd finished writing my own post I'd already made up my mind. Writing it all down and posting it seems to have that effect doesn't it? Then getting your thinking on it just gave me reassurance and gelled my own thinking for me.
    Well, I'm so glad you all understand why making up my mind about a coat is *important*. It was when I read an old post on here from Cupofkindness that I knew I'd found my home here among you all. She said, "We care about things that ordinary people don't, like finding a better way to store bread bag twisties in your kitchen junk drawer".

    The coat is staying. Poor thing, I'd better get it out and give it a pat. It feels like it's been on trial, and I guess it was, with you people as the jury, and I suppose I'm the judge who decides it's final fate. Well, I'm so glad it won the case. While I was writing, I was hoping like crazy you'd all say keep it (LOL)
    I found this old poem the other day, and it sums it up perfectly.
    Piet Hein 1905-1996
    "Whenever you're called on to make up your mind,
    And you're hampered by not having any,
    The best way to solve the dilemna you'll find,
    Is simply by spinning a penny.
    No, not so that chance shall decide the affair,
    While you're passively standing there moping,
    But because the moment the penny is up in the air,
    You will suddenly know for what side you were hoping."
    Thank you again everyone.
    Lily

  • talley_sue_nyc
    15 years ago

    the poem reminds me of another deciding tactic w/ flipping a coin.

    Assign sides; flip; see which lands, heads or tails.

    THEN....how did you react, in the split second after the coin stopped spinning? Aw, rats? or yay?

    Because that will tell you what you WANT.

    Same premise. But not as cleverly said.

  • maryliz
    15 years ago

    I was rooting for you to save the coat. I stopped in yesterday for a quick visit and didn't have time to write. And I absolutely LOVE that poem about the penny!

  • jannie
    15 years ago

    I'd keep it. Fur and leather really never go out of style. You've already found it useful when travelling. You do have room to store it. You may not have plans to use it soon, but who knows what you'll be doing in 5 or 10 years?

  • socks
    15 years ago

    I'm glad you kept the coat. Throw out something else in its place.

  • lilydilly
    Original Author
    15 years ago

    Good idea socks.
    I did get around one day to giving away the coat that I wore to go away on my honeymoon 33 years ago. Anyone remember those short patterned synthetic fur coats that were all the go in the early 1970's?. It was the most glamorous thing I'd ever owned, and I felt like a movie star in it, or a chubbier version of Jean Shrimpton. LOL.
    Well, I kept that coat for 20 years, even though I never wore it again, because we moved up here to the tropics.
    I got it out of storage one day to show my teenage sons, thinking, ha, now they'll see that their Mum was a bit of a groover, and not always frumpy old mum.
    So what did they do?... went into hysterics! the 13 year old asked in all seriousness, if I'd made it from a lounge chair LOL. The 15 year old wouldn't even touch it, because he claimed it was road-kill, the 19 year old thought I was pulling their leg, and it was part of an old fancy dress costume, and on it went.
    I gave it to my local craft lady friends for bear-making. They were politer, with sweet comments like, "well, no doubt it looked good back *then* LOL.
    (This classic one I've been wondering about is very different to that old trendy bit of gear!)

    Yes, I've been trying to work out a way to use that "penny flipping decision decider" with things that I get stuck on. Throw clothes up in the air, shut my eyes, and if they land on the floor, they go out, if they land on the bed I keep them? Nope, that wouldn't work. I'd need to know I couldn't change my mind for it to be effective. Ok, I could toss them, and yell out when they're up in the air where I want them to land. Nope.. any ideas anyone? How can we apply it?
    Have I said how much I love this forum.. Oh, that's right I believe I have just mentioned it in passing a few times..:):). But it does bear repeating. I can hardly believe that I have found a place where I can ask about a second hand leather coat and 7 different people care! LOL
    It's awesome.

  • maryliz
    15 years ago

    The details make us crazy. And taking care of the details brings us peace. Nothing wrong with that.

  • Ideefixe
    15 years ago

    But when you travel, do you really want to lug this heavy leather and fake fur coat with you? Airlines are charging more for overweight baggage.

    You could always ship the coat to the family in the US whom you visit, and have them store it for you.

  • bronwynsmom
    15 years ago

    The question I would ask is, do you feel fabulous in it or not? Remember Yves St. Laurent (rest his soul), who reminded us in the 70's that fashion fades, style remains.
    And your tale about the patterned fur jacket made me laugh out loud. I went through a phase in the 70's during which I made most of my clothes either out of Indian bedspreads or out of upholstery material. I was in my twenties, and I thought I was the bee's knees! There was one sort of tapestry-like mini-skirt in rich jewel colors with a matching bolero vest, which I wore with a moss green high-necked faux-silk blouse with huge pirate sleeves. The blouse was hot, and the rest of the get-up was stiff as a board. I shudder to think!!! But there was also a Pucci print dress that I bought in London in 1967 that I would give my eye teeth to have back again! Oh, to be nineteen again. Okay, maybe not. But I would like to have that body back....

  • anrsaz
    15 years ago

    I didn't read the other posts... but my thought is if you love it and it fits well keep it. You won't save any space if you have to go buy another one to use later!!!

  • lilydilly
    Original Author
    15 years ago

    Yep annellis, I love it, it's such a beautiful cut, that even though it is fur lined leather, it is actually slimming. And it was dressy enough to wear to a wedding, yet looked fine too, with boots and a backpack when we did the tourist thing.
    And yes,ideefix it's quite heavy for travelling, and that's probably the one negative that made me seriously consider parting with it. But I freeze in planes and airports, and I used it as a rug on the flight home. I was Sooooo grateful I had it in Hong Kong, because it was sleeting rain, and the airport terminal was like a mausoleum. I even put DH's spare socks on over my gloves. But because it is soft squishy kind of leather, it can roll up neatly, and it fit into my wheel along backpack when I wasn't using it. I simply wore it when we had our hand luggage weighed.
    I'd be really interested to know what you wear over there when it is totally freezing.
    It was probably a bit different for us, because we were visiting, so were maybe out in the cold more than you would usually be. People had proper ski suits when we went tobogganing, and in Hong Kong, I noticed that most of the women wore black quilted coats, that weren't bulky at all. How do you stay warm without bulk, when it's -20?
    The people we stayed with just added layers and layers and layers, but then they'd have to take off all those layers every time we went inside somewhere. We took some thermal underwear with us, but didn't use it, because when we were "touristing" we'd be outside and then inside so many times, and would die of heat in the central heating with thermal undies!!
    What do you all do/wear. I probably should have asked that before the fur coat question.
    Lily

  • bspofford
    15 years ago

    Lily,

    This comes from Maine, where minus temps are common in the winter, and is the home of LL Bean. We all go there and buy winter coats and other winter gear and deal with the weather quite nicely. Bean's carries a full range of types of insulating materials such as down, Thinsulate, etc. Being a larger size, I prefer the Thinsulate, since you get the same warmth without the extra puffiness of down. I always have a hat handy in the winter, a nice selection of insulated boots, good gloves, and if I'm going to be outside where I might get cold, those little handwarmer packets.

    I got a new job in Portland about 10 years ago and my first day was in early February. I looked outside at home, the sun was shining, put on my lightweight wool pant suit,and didn't realize it was -3F until I got to the building, but what the heck, I parked right in front, and the parking garage I would have access to was on the other side of the building, right across the street. At our 'indoctrination' we were given the location of the garage, and it was a different one that I had scoped out earlier. Three blocks away, and now you can all go park your cars and walk back!! I damn near had hypothermia by the time I got back!!! At lunch time, I trotted right across the street to the Bean outlet, and bought what they called their 'sleigh coat'. Beautiful eggplanty purple wool, Thinsulate lining, black faux fur cuffs and large hood also lined in the faux fur. Gorgeous coat, long, fit like a dream, kept me toasty for the 3 block walk. I wore that every day, along with a pair of insulated boots and gloves, and when I rounded the corner onto the main drag, looked up to the top of the 'time and temperature' building, and saw -3, -4,-5, -6, etc. I figured it was the best 150 bucks I'd ever spent! I kept a pair of black shoes in my desk, so I didn't have to deal with too warm feet.

    Your coat sounds fabulous.

    Barbara

  • jannie
    15 years ago

    "A chubbier version of Jean Shrimpton" LOL! me, I'm a short, fst version of Twiggy!