What's monumental is that you've finally decided to let them go. I completely understand wanting to destroy due to privacy issues.

If you can't find a shredding Co. as suggested above...do you have a friend or family who doesn't live in town who would agree to let you go to their place and burn?

If no to the above, I would say suck it up and just rip and shred on your own. Don't hang on to your fears and temptations as an excuse to not get rid of them.

You are in control of the situation. Just as you found it inside you to get rid of them, you also have it inside of you to not be afraid & not stop to read.

Put on a favorite movie that motivates you for your current and future life. Pull up a shredder...watch your movie...rip and shred...and don't look back. You don't have to do it all in 1 day or sitting, unless that's what you feel you need to do.
Gayle

I rerally like the idea of burning them. Couldn't you buy a small camp stove or hibatchi and use that? It's not like burning a pile of leaves.

Oh, I think I would fix a drink, make a campfire, and spend an evening feeding the fire. The symbolism is powerful, and it seems worthy of making an event of letting go of a time of your life that held you back. We are able to burn wood in a chiminea in our garden, and also have a firepit. Could you do something like that? If not, maybe you have a park that has grills for charcoal fires?

yeah go on a camping vacation and take them along for firestarters..

but no..really..take a razor blade and cut along the bindings..then put them through the shredder..or put them in the bottom of a garbage bag with WET DIRTY garbage in it..so it will soak into the pages so no one would want to read them.

When I throw out old credit cards or bank books or anything with personal or financial information, I cut it up and mix it in my cat litter box. So far, no one has had the nerve to go thru cat pooh looking for my identity information.

Fire + red wine.

Find a way to make it happen.

Thank you everyone for all your support! I love all of your ideas!

I was a little worried that you'd think I was paranoid for just not trashing them. I am trying to find a local shredding company - no luck yet - they all seem to only deal with businesses.

I've also been looking at shredders (the idea of putting a movie in and doing it makes it seem less painful) but the less expensive shredders (under $200 - and that's way more than I want to pay) all have a 10 minute on/40 minute off cycle (or similar.) I'd be there for years!

I live in the coastal hills of California, right next to a state park, so burning them in my (unused for 3 years) fire pit is out of the question during this drought.

People do have bonfires on the beach, and I am considering that. I'd like to keep it as personal as possible, and having a bonfire I'd need DH along as a minimum. Hauling all those boxes across the beach doesn't sound like much fun - but dancing around the bonfire does :-) It gets kind of crazy on the beach at the solstice.

Another thought is to start tearing them up and putting them in the worm compost - those little guys go through paper fairly quickly.

Thanks again - I'll keep you updated!

Get the shredder! It will make a lot of difference in your life even after the journals are gone. I shredded my journals, and it didn't take as long as I expected. Our shreds go into the compost... I think you're on the right track with the worms.

I don't have any better ideas, but I think it is wonderful you are doing this. I hope you find some way that brings you peace.

And even if you get the less expensive shredder, you can probably do one a day until they are gone...?

I recommend a low end shredder. I have a $10 shredder from Walmart. Shreds appox 6 sheets of paper plus staples. It may not sound like a lot, but you can just "keep them coming". I think it will go a lot faster than you think.

I'm sure your 12 feet stack of notebooks looks like a lot to the eyeballs, but I think once you get going...even with a few sheets at a time, it's not going to be as monumental as what you think. I recall I shredded an entire notebook once, and it only took about 10 mins to get it all done.

I also think you'll find a low end shredder will shred faster than you can rip out of a notebook.

Don't make this more of a project than it is. You've had them this long...just start somewhere and it will get done.
Gayle

And I recommend that you skip the wine if you use the shredder--keep your fingers!
Seriously, I recently shredded a lot of old paystubs and found that I had also built it up to be a big chore, and then it went really fast and I said, why did I wait so long? I don't remember our shredder brand, but it is not high-end and it even doesn't feed quite right any longer--there is a "knack" required--but once you are on a roll with it, it works great.

So you likely have a lot of the same "psycho" barriers and just talking it out and getting past those and getting up the nerve is all you need.

I was going to suggest what jannie did. if you get the shredder make a date with yourself a movie night or something and do 2 or 3 a week.

next time you want to do a journal do it on the computer then you can just delete it!!!!!

honestly, unless you list full names and addresses, how likely is anyone to trace these back to you?

I say trash them and wash your hands of them. Shredding will be WAY too much work.

1. You're not alone with your 12 ft. of them!! I'm going to try to go through one a week. The odd one will be good & worth saving, but the rest, not!!

This is an old post, but I'd toss this in: There are shredding companies near me. One of them offers one day a week when the trucks are at the office for homeowners to bring in small loads of items (3 banker boxes, I think) and pay a small fee to have them destroyed.

My employer is hiring the company to come: since there is a minimum fee for the truck to show up, we've been allowed to bring in our stuff from home.

The same company holds community shredding events (all canceled this year, owing to Covid). There is a limit: residential only, and only three boxes per person. Sometimes a donation to a charity is encouraged.