Return to the Organizing the Home Forum | Post a Follow-Up

 o
regift ..give..get rid of

Posted by ronbre (My Page) on
Fri, Jan 29, 10 at 17:41

so are we ..any of us...still hanging onto things that were give to us over the holidays that we'll never use?

i'm not..but i do have one gift that was given to me on my last birthday that will need to go to charity..just afraid the person that gave it to me will see it there..as she shops there.

maybe i can drop it at a charity in another town..

why do people give you things that just are not YOU ..??? Like giving my husband things with nuts in them..cause they don't pay attention to the fact he can't eat nuts??

i gave nearly ever single Christmas gift away to charities this year...but that one birthday gift is still in my closet


Follow-Up Postings:

 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

I asked for no gifts this year because we're broke-two girls in college does that! We gave only handmade gifts . It worked out good. No junk to return, exchange, give away or be stuck with!


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

By now, I know what each charity in my area will take. So I can decide quickly where to send something I just don't NEED or WANT. And if there is no charity that takes that type of item, there is always Freecycle.org!

This year for Christmas, I received a lotion & body wash set containing ingredients that would just make my skin break out. So I have no problem giving it away to anyone who can use it.

One of the better gifts we received this time was a donation made in our name to Heifer International. No calories, it's the perfect size, and it does a lot of good for someone else! :-)

Ronbre, I know what ya mean ... that you would not want the person who gave you the gift to see it at the local Salvation Army, etc. Maybe giving the item to a charity in another town is a good idea!


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

I have a funny re-gifting story. The girls (ladies) in my office gave me a baby shower. One of the gifts was a stroller, but I did not need it because my MIL had already given me a top-of-the-line model. I mentioned it to someone, who said "You don't need a receipt. Take it to ToysR Us. As long as they sell that model, they'll take it back, no questions". So as I readied the stroller to take to the store, I felt a small card in one of the folds of cardboard. It was a gift card from some unknown person to one of my office mates ,Suzanne. I never told anyone, but I found it incredibly silly! Two people didn't want the stroller!


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

This reminds me. I went to a baby shower for a baby boy in December 2009. the gifts were being passed around for everyone to admire. I looked down and recognized a sleeper set identical to one I had been given for my baby boy in December 2001. I was a bit surprised to realize that someone had been holding onto/regifting a baby outfit for that many years.


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

Oh yes. Those shadow box frames that were up in storage for several years. We pulled them down as we put the holiday ornaments back up. They are posted on Craig's list, but will likely end up at Goodwill.
I think I'm too paranoid to re-gift. Plus, I hate to give someone something I would not want, unless I am sure they definitely want it.


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

"I hate to give someone something I would not want" gardenspice, that's exactly my sentiment.

I've been the recipient of regifts, not a good feeling,
I can usually spot those. I'd rather get a $5 flower bunch from the grocery store, than getting an expensive regift, specially when I'm hosting people in a very nice way.


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

Luckily, my MIL & SIL won't shop at thrift stores & similiar places so I can give their gifts away without worrying they'll see them. Honestly, I don't think they would recognize one of their gifts at a place like that if they did shop there.

It saddens me that we go thru this charade of gift giving at least twice every year. I would so much prefer nothing OR a charitable donation made, which I suggest every gift giving occasion, but they won't comply. My husband tells me it won't change so just accept it. It feeds some need of theirs to buy gifts, without regard to the recipents hopes/dreams/desires/likes or dislikes.

OTOH, my mother made donations to Heifer International for all of us at Xmas. It was just what I always wanted.

I know it's suppose to be the thought that counts but I don't think much thought goes into many of the gifts from my in-laws. Or maybe their thoughts are just so different from mine. I'm gracious to them when I rcv the items, store them in a closet until the next clean-out, and on the next gift giving occasion I once again request no gifts or make a donation. And then the cycle repeats.

I asked my DH "do you think they ever wonder why they never see anything they gave us out on display?". He thinks they don't remember what they give so they don't notice it's not on display.

I refer to Easter as "the exchange of the plants". He gives them potted Easter flowers, they give me potted Easter flowers. Why don't we all just save the $10 (or whatever it is he spends)? Because giving each other a present on a holiday is required. Even if it's the same exact present they are giving you. Good grief, I'm depressing myself thinking about it and Easter is months away.

I'm gathering a bunch of stuff to bring to the thrift store - seasonal decorations, odds & ends - and will toss in the various gifts from xmas.


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

One tradition I got rid of several years ago was the Christmas exhange of gift certificates for my nieces and nephews. My siblings and inlaws all used to sent gift certificates. I decided that was pretty silly. I mean, does a 22 year old need a gift certicate for $50 to Macy's? We siblings were just going out and purchasing gift certs to give to nephews and nieces. I nicely told everyone I wanted to stop. Instead, use the money you would have spent and give it to our own children. I think everyone was relieved. Stop the money exchange,I want to get off.


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

hhireno - actually, there is a way to stop the madness. Stop giving THEM gifts. They will continue for a year or two, but if you also stop the thank you card/e-mail/phone call, they will stop giving you things.


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

"I mean, does a 22 year old need a gift certicate for $50 to Macy's? "

LOL!

When my daughter was 22, she would have LOVED a Macy's gift card. Clothes, jewelry, household stuff.... LOADS to spend it on!


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

hhireno - actually, there is a way to stop the madness. Stop giving THEM gifts. They will continue for a year or two, but if you also stop the thank you card/e-mail/phone call, they will stop giving you things.

I wish that was true but it hasn't been my experience. My DH says it's important to them and how they show they care. They also bring us gifts from their vacations.

When we got married (16 yrs ago)I was able to convince my DH to stop buying them the obligatory vacation junk - thinking it would end the exchange. It hasn't stopped them from buying for us. We still get something. Every freakin' time. From both MIL and SIL.

I have Xmas ornaments from all sorts of places I've never been or ever plan to go. Keep in mind I have only put up an Xmas tree 4 times in 16 years. Yet every year we rcv at least one ornament for Xmas and one as a vacation souvenir.

I have rcvd at least 5 tile hot plate trivets that are mounted in a metal tea pot shape frame. I have rcvd more than I can count of those cheap pot holders with a scene or recipe printed on it. I do like to cook so I think they think they are doing something I like. I'm afraid to use most of the potholders since I'm not sure they are actually meant for use since they are so thin.

This Xmas 3 of my gifts were touristy stuff printed with the name of our vacation home locale. I think they expect me to use these items in the vacation home. Do they have a spoon rest with the name of our home town on their stoves? Just for the record, this is the 3rd spoon rest they've given me. Do they not remember? Or care? Or are they messing with me?

These latest items will be harder to give away for obvious reasons. Who else around my regular home would want something from another locale? I guess I'll drag them down to the vaca home & give them to a thrift shop there. Maybe a tourist will stumble in and think "What a deal! A tourist memento for cheap!"


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

My inlaws brought us a souvenir when they visted the Grand Canyon. Now, the farhest West I have ever been was Texas, so it had no meaning for me. I invited a neighbor in one day who saw it an admired it. A piece of stone with "Souvenir of Grand Canyon" painted on it! So I gave it to her!


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

Hi there. Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading about your gift experiences. In addition to cluttering up the home, excessive gifting detracts from the true meaning of the holiday season. I think handmade gifts are a great way to go. There's way too much commercialism involved in the holidays, so it's refreshing to hear about families that focus on spending time together :)


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

I don't know, Judy26, it seems to me that handmade gifts can clutter your house as much as anything else, only they're even harder to get rid of, because you picture Aunt Marilyn crocheting that afghan, or cousin Kelly making that pot, or whatever.


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

The point is, when someone gives you a gift, it is yours to do with as you please. Use it, store it, give it to a Charity, throw it out or re-gift it. No guilt.


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

good input on this thread..


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

This year I returned or donated everything I received except 2 items. MIL gave me a box of candy and a bubble bath set. I love them both because they were gone within a month of Xmas.

I returned the hat & scarf from my mom. Really, mom, I'm mid-40's - don't you think I have a hat and scarf already! Returned the U-G-L-Y sweater from SIL. I think she was working on the "ugly bridesmaid" principal when she picked it out (pick ugly bridesmaids so the bride looks prettier).

Thank the Lord, my 2 other SIL finally agreed to a "white elephant" exchange this year. One didn't get it tough and brought a $50 Macy's card as her white elephant...

Next Xmas, I am staying home and sleeping in!


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

I was pretty ruthless immediately after Christmas. I've decided to donate stuff right away, so it doesn't get dusty or dingy.

And if I'm given a gift basket of stuff, esp. bubble-bath type stuff, I give it away unopened. I figure it'll have bigger impact at the Salvation Army store if it arrives looking like that sort of potential gift, than it would have if I pulled out the 2 things I could potentially use.


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

After Christmas, my SIL called on the phone and mentioned that my 2 daughters never thanked them for her Christmas gifts to them-which was a $5 bill tucked in a Christmas card. I felt hurt, as if I was supposed to feel bad for not teaching them better manners. They probably think $5 is a chintzy gift. And both of them insist they are adults. I have no right to criticize anything they do. I wish SIL would stop sending my kids gifts. They don't appreciate it and I end up with hurt feelings.


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

Wow -- a lot of negative feelings out there about gifts.

I guess I'm lucky; my family and friends actually pay attention to what I like (and likewise, I'm watching them year round, looking for things or activities they enjoy) so there is rarely the need to "get rid" of a gift.

Otherwise the posts here would make me pretty hesitant to give a gift to anyone! (FWIW, we've also used Heifer International, Kiva, and other charity organizations as part of our gift-giving reportoire.)


 o
RE: regift ..give..get rid of

Our family are all pretty much agreed that we don't give gifts unless we know absolutley it is something someone wants. If I see something I'm sure my DIL's would love, and they're not with me to ask them, it has to be something I would love too. They know they can just say, "no thanks, you keep it", if they don't like it, and we're all happy. It's actually become part of the fun of a giving each other something, wondering if we'll get to keep it for ourselves or not. We all feel the same way about gift giving though so that makes it easy and fun.
Recently my DIL gave me my birthday gift in front of a group of my friends. It was a beautifully wrapped frozen loaf of bread...a special health bread that she had ordered especially for me.... and yes, something she knew I would love. We loved our friends' reactions....a loaf of bread? They were aghast at first, then intrigued, and then all expressed their wish that they could be the same in their families.
One of my friends sent out a little letter before her birthday, inviting her friends to her house for coffee and cake, and saying a lovely thank you for all the past gifts, but please, could no one give her anything any more, as she simply didn't need any more stuff to end up in a garage sale,because it hurt her to have to give away things given in love and the thing she valued most anyway, was everyone's friendship. It was beautifully expressed and started the ball rolling among all our group of friends... no more gifts, just good company. Made me realise how meaningless a lot of our obligatory gift giving really is.


 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!


Return to the Organizing the Home Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Please review our Rules of Play before posting.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.


Learn more about in-text links on this page here