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susan_on

Does anybody have this problem..

susan_on
18 years ago

I am a MOSTLY organized person. I have most things organized pretty well at home and at work. I have my houseworkd routine down FAIRLY well. But I seem to have a mental block where I can't finish anything. Inevitably at work, I will work diligently until I have most of my stuff done. Then I piddle around without finishing. At home and at work, I have unfinished stuff, and a little disorganization around. I can seem to get almost there, but can't seem to "finish". Does anybody else have this problem?

Comments (22)

  • lots2do
    18 years ago

    Yes! I, too, have this syndrome. It seems to run in my family from my Dad's side. I think that it is connected to the perfectionism gene. Any suggestions, please pass them along!
    Kelly

  • krustytopp
    18 years ago

    Externally imposed deadlines work for me.

  • susan_on
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Lots2do, I think you are right about the perfectionism gene. Externally imposed deadlines help sometimes, but not always, I either cut corners and do a crappy job, or just resign myself to not meeting the deadline.

  • alisande
    18 years ago

    Interesting! My husband had this. It took a long time for me to realize it, because he was always busy, always involved in one project or another. I always assumed he'd finish each of them eventually, but many times he did not. In my house right now are a couple of projects done completely except that the finishing nails aren't hammered in all the way. I want to leave them as he left them, because he's gone now.

    I always saw him as a real perfectionist, so perhaps that's the key.

    Susan

  • elizabeth10029
    18 years ago

    A famous anthropologist (Clifford Geertz) once said: You don't ever finish (he said PHd dissertation, but substitute anything); you just abandon it. That works for me -- that and an external deadline. It's got to be "good enough" but some times you just have to grit your teeth, label it finished, and move on.

  • steve_o
    18 years ago

    Externally imposed deadlines help sometimes, but not always, I either cut corners and do a crappy job, or just resign myself to not meeting the deadline.

    elizabeth hinted at this in her response, but do you think the job is crappy by your standards or by anyone's standards? I've always liked the saying "Good enough is the enemy of great." But I live by the saying "If it weren't for the last minute, a lot of things would not get done."

  • susan_on
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Hmmm. Good point. For example, people say my home is very neat and very clean, and I don't think it is at all. And there are numerous areas that are disorganized, by anyone's standards. I seem to have to really psych myself up to take care of them. And then I fall into that old trap of not even addressing some things. Yet other areas are great.
    I'll have to go back to the system of making lists of things I want to accomplish. That helps more than anything, to force me to address stuff. It's like a have a fear of success or something.

  • talley_sue_nyc
    18 years ago

    I have that problem, too--often. And, apparently, so do most home-improvement contractors.

    Sometimes it's because the start of any task is interesting, and the finishing details are annoying and boring and persnickety.

    But there might be other causes.

    Is it possible this is caused by a fear you won't be "needed" anymore (by the world in general, even if not by your specific employer) if that work is done?

    or that you think you won't have anything to DO, once those things are done?

    Or that you fear once you start to get some jobs done, suddenly you'll be required to do them all to that same standard or timeliness or quality, or simply to actually finish them, which would be hard?

  • caseyb
    18 years ago

    Yeah, "what on earth will I do with myself if I don't have 'things to do'?" I guess I like my safe, comfortable, *known* to-do-list. ?!!?

    I do like checking off small tasks, however. That is satisfying.

  • runninginplace
    18 years ago

    I share Susan's issue--people who just come to my house for a casual visit think it is nice and neat but I feel it's a seething cesspool of not only hidden dirt but disorganization! *I* see the closets that need culling, the kitchen cabinets that need decluttering, the dust fuzzies under my bed that I can't get to with any of the vacuum equipment I have, the shelves in the garage with random stuff piled up and so much more.

    I am trying to make myself do a little bit when I can and not feel guilty about it but it's hard. Great intentions, little follow through, that's me too. And I too start projects but don't finish. I have that one last box in the office that needs to be sorted but I haven't done it. My son's room that I finally tackled last week but that still needs to have the closet dejunked. The pile of miscellaneous items that I whittled at yesterday but which is still piled in the florida room. And so it goes...

  • talley_sue_nyc
    18 years ago

    I see perhaps a problem of definition?

    "my son's room"--maybe you weren't required to do it all? You were just required to do as much as you could last week?

    And so the closet isn't "last week's work undone" but "a future project not yet scheduled"?

  • jannie
    18 years ago

    The only task I ever consider "finished" is laundry. By that, I mean everything is washed,dried,folded or hung,and PUT AWAY.

  • lazy_gardens
    18 years ago

    "Good enough is the enemy of great"?

    HUH? Insisting that things be done perfectly or not at all is the enemy of ever getting anything done!

  • talley_sue_nyc
    18 years ago

    Jannie, that's funny--it's the one task I *never* think of as finished--I think of it as "handled"--as much as I can do today, is done; more later.

    And I can understand the "good enough is the enemy of great" idea--if people quit putting out any effort when it's "good enough," they may never achieve greatness.

    The problem comes when you insist upon greatness in ALL things, including the laundry and the kid's room. There *are* places where "good enough" is more than appropriate.

    And nearly always, "done and good enough" is better than "not done but potentially great."

  • elizabeth10029
    18 years ago

    Whose standard you ask? We all have standards -- it would be interesting to do a close read of some of these threads and figures out who holds to what standard. Do you hang up all your clothes each night? Some of them? Dishes all done before you leave the kitchen? When is "good enough" appropriate? I can't turn in a mss. until I have agonized over every sentence.

    Then there is the question of whose standard by what right? Who is the parent on your shoulder setting your standard? What neighbor's voice do you hear about your housekeeping? What kind of internal standards dictate your choices?

    Big topic. Here's one that's on my mind: How often do you open mail. sort it and act on it? Do you ever finish doing it on the same day the mail arrives?

  • steve_o
    18 years ago

    How often do you open mail. sort it and act on it? Do you ever finish doing it on the same day the mail arrives?

    I open mail pretty much every day, unless the day has just been one long sprint. It's opened right by the recycling bin and one of four things happens: "plain" paper (most of it) is tossed in the recycling bin. Paper which needs to be shredded is taken to the room with the shredder and I shred when I have enough paper to fire up the shredder. Bills/forms/etc. are taken to the organizer on my desk that holds the bills/forms/etc.; this is checked every Sunday night for whatever needs to be acted upon in the next 7-10 days. Items which need to be filed (either in a folder or electronically on my PDA) are moved to the appropriate location and either filed in a folder or put in the special "put this on the computer" pile. Done!

    When is "good enough" appropriate? I can't turn in a mss. until I have agonized over every sentence.

    "Good enough" is highly subjective, I think. Housekeeping that is "good enough" for me on a daily basis is not "good enough" if I'm having company over. My closet is organized "good enough" if the out-of-season clothes are off to the side; "great" to me implies having all the hangers face the same direction, arranging clothing by type and color, etc. And, of course, my standard for "good enough" at work is much higher than my standards for most leisure time activities. I can understand agonizing over every sentence in a manuscript because it's what you're paid to do.

    I also will note that I said that I liked the statement "Good enough is the enemy of great" for just the reasons talley_sue outlined (thanks once again, Sue!), but that I don't necessarily live it.

  • caseyb
    18 years ago

    It is a great statement! Probably we all know for ourselves, in our heart of hearts, when is the right time to apply it.

    I have continued thinking about this since I read and posted earlier - what is it about not finishing things? (jeez! what is my problem?!) I thought perhaps that it was just a matter of "what on earth will I do with myself if I don't have 'things to do'?" But is it something more than that? Somebody help me (us all?) out here! I think I need an analysis. Could it be connected with fear of failure? How? Control issues? How is keeping everything in a slightly out-of-control state serving me? Do I just resent having to clean up to begin with? (ha!)

  • talley_sue_nyc
    18 years ago

    fear of success, and that if you succeed once, you won't be allowed to fail ever again?

    Oh, and I def. resent having to clean up to begin with.

    And for me, too, the end is boring and a bit of a letdown as reality surfaces; the beginning is exciting and full of promise.

  • lots2do
    18 years ago

    I think I have to agree thatthe end is a little bit of a letdown sometimes. The beginning is just full of promise, just where will this go? I also think that there is a time for everything and sometimes projects need to "age" a little bit like a fine wine. (That explains all of my fabric that is waiting to be used). Last night someone said to me, "It's not that I'm a perfectionist...it's that I am very demanding of myself". And I thought to myself, that sounds like being a perfectionist to me! As for the parent sitting on my shoulder, I do have a Mom whose brain is very differently wired from mine. She just didn't understand (while I was growing up) why I couldn't work on something a bit at a time in a very sequential way as she preferred to. (I think she still doesn't understand but now we aren't under the same roof). I need to give myself permission to do things in my own "time zone"...
    Kelly

  • jfrorelo
    18 years ago

    I'm with you on this one! There are different reasons, of course, but usually I run out of steam towards the end of something and am feeling a little bored. Of course, short attention spans can be to blame too, right? T.V. and internet, maybe? LOL!

    Nice article in Wikipedia - linked below.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Overcoming Procrastination article

  • apoem
    18 years ago

    my husband does this and it drives me nuts.
    I haven't taken the time to read all the posts but man do I have a whole slew of unfinished projects waiting for him to take care of around the house.

  • Julie_MI_Z5
    18 years ago

    Why I don't finish things:

    1. What I start is usually a big project
    2. Near the end of the big project, another BIG PROJECT seems like a higher piority (and more impactful to my general emotional well-being)
    3. Finishing and fine-tuning the original big project gets set aside to start a new big project that weighs more heavily on my mind.

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