You need to get rid of the fear of getting rid of things.

Flylady's excellent advice is to keep only those things you use and love :)

You can box stuff up and date it -- if you havne't used it in a year, it is highly unlikely that you will need or want it again. Release stuff and bless someone else who may actually need.

How many pillows/blankets do you actually need -- those you use and enough for the spare bed or whatever. Anything else is clutter.

Regarding crafts and other projects. I have learned from flylady that there is no purpose to keep unless I am using them. Even residing on my shelf, they can fill me with a sense of unmade expectation.

There are many reasons people hoard and hold on to useless clutter -- fear that they won't be able to provide for themselves -- a sense that the stuff defines them -- guilt that they spent the money and aren't wearing/using etc.

So what if you need something in six weeks? You go out and buy it again -- Start with those objects that you are unlikely to need and only fill you with some anxiety -- everybody has the worn, the broken, the missing parts, the projects which no longer interest one.

You don't have to fling everything at once -- it's a very gradual process when one realizes releasing stuff isn't a loss but a gain.

Per flylady and she is so right as always -- YOU CAN'T ORGANIZE CLUTTER.

I get rid of it if it has absolutely no redeeming quality, or if I have plenty of it. (i.e. if you have a queensize bed, how many sheet sets do you really need? Or - if you have sheetsets that are mismatched or you hate, and never use, why keep them?)

Sentimental things are different. I keep baby gifts that my grandma gave me while I was pregnant (she passed away a week before I had my DD), and they are hard to part with. Other items, when I really look hard at them, I'm not as attached to as I thought. There is no real rule to them. Peter on Clean Sweep says, "Your memories of Grandma are not tied to those baby items". Sometimes, this is true, and sometimes it is not.

If something is dear to your heart, don't worry about keeping it. In my case, there is enough actual junk in the house I can still part with. :-)

The other side of the coin is bringing new things in. i.e. new clothes - I try not to get a new pair of shoes or outfit, unless at least one corresponding item goes to goodwill. This helps maintain the feeling of uncluttered-ness.

I find that when I put all I have of a category in a pile, it is pretty easy to see which ones are the best, which ones I use, etc. At that point, I ask how many of these do I need. I did this with sheets, and ended up with 2 sets for each bed. I don't need or use more than that, so why keep them? I agree with Talley Sue that I'm not as likely to throw things out if they are in a spot where it wouldn't matter because I would not fill the extra space, anyways. But very often I can move things around and use that newfound space for something else and put the old pile in a new, smaller spot.

As for crafts, I read Flylady's commentary on those and had to agree for the most part that the undone crafts were making me feel more guilty than happy, and then it was really easy to pass them on to other people. If I really want to do something, I would finish it, so why spend any time finishing something I really don't want?

I think the actual number is something you have to decide for yourself, but really looking at all you have and thinking about if you use it all and if you LIKE to use it all will help make that decision. There are some things that were useful, but didn't like to use them. When I thought about why I didn't like to use them, they were gone with no hard feelings at all. I really can't think of too much I have gotten rid of, except for things I really was glad to get rid of.

You've all given excellent advice.

Like Tally Sue said...I've tossed out the obvious and now I know there are still too many objects...my problem...I like to redecorate.

So help me please....I have 2 rather pricey, beautiful quilts that fit a bed being stored. (It is stored because I needed the spare bedroom for my office...another story.) I also have a quilt my dh's sister made for a king bed, but we don't really use it (and I can not give away), I have a travel trailer that bulk items went into that...like my 3rd and 4th set of pillows (ugh)..those stay in there. In fact my travel trailer has it's own set of everything.

Like RJVT I have craft stuff making me feel more guilty than happy, but...I also would like to have something on hand if i get the urge to stamp my wall or do something decorative. If I have to drive a gazillion miles to get the "stuff", then I've lost interest (we live out in the middle of nowhere.) I have craft paint...some scrapbooking stuff (limited) "in case" we want to make Grandma or anybody something like a card or whatever. I'll be homeschooling...do I keep this crap or dump it? I think I can use it for homeschooling or can I...I'm new to homeschooling and just beginning.

Then there's the excess towels (bathrooms are easy to redorate)...to the travel trailer for some..and excess, well, we swim, we have muddy dogs, large Great Dane mud, etc. So there's that 3rd spot for the towels...

The office story...we have our own business and our office is in the garage...no problem... Then, I pulled my dd out of preschool and now she's home w/me. I can't leave her to do work in the garage, so the spare bedroom had to go and my office is in the house, and the main office must be outside (for my dh to work in peace). So more storing...the bed (2 years brand new for company). Our travel trailer is, well, old...another to-do list on repairs and cosmetic work, but now a good place to put visitors.

We're pretty lucky moneywise too I can rebuy, but I surely don't want to throw away money either.

I'd love to dump it all, but I know I'll probably regret some of it when I want my dd to make Grandma a quickie card or something. Ahhhh....I would like to use it all, but I don't have the time or energy to think about what I would do with it, unlike when I was pre-kid.

Yes...I'm looking for you to tell me I'm crazy.

I think the only thing that jumps out at me is the pillows. An extra set or two for company is great, and understandable. But 3 or 4 extra sets might mean you need to re-evaluate all of them, and only keep the ones that are good quality enough to keep.

can you store those quilts with the bed? If the mattress is safe, the quilts should be safe. And they'd be together.

I dread the idea of someone making something and giving it to me. Because then I feel crummy if I decide I don't need it or want it.

It's one thing to keep craft supplies, in properly labeled bins, etc. It's another thing to keep partly done projects.

Do your kitchen supplies make you feel guilty? Just because you haven't used the broiler in six months, do you feel bad? I don't. So I don't feel bad because I own a pressing ham (for sewing) either. I *do* feel bad because I still have a vest that I cut out and never sewed.

It's the projects that make me feel crummy, not the tools.

I agree with the above replies, guilt is a terrible reason to keep something, no matter where it originates. I have the flag from my grandfather's coffin (WWI soldier) and I just don't know what to do with it. It's huge and it's still in the triangle that my precious grandmother gave to my mother about 30 years ago. Now I have it. I guess I need to just buy one of those cases for memorial flags, but then I have to explain to my dear brothers and sisters why I ended up with this family heirloom. Oh well. Since its stored in a closet, I'm not worried about it yet. But I need to deal with it at some point....

I agree a couple extra pillows are a must for company, etc. but beyond that, I would get rid of the others. The quilt is sort of a "must keep" as this relative put in countless hours into it. It needs to be kept for sentimental and "not worth insulting the family" reasons. Perhaps you could display it on a wall quilt rack somewhere in the house, or even draped at the foot of a bed, over the back of a sofa, etc.

I just started homeschooling, but my older sister did it the whole way through with her now grown children. In my opinion she majorly overbought and most went unused. In the public school your kids get one book for each subject, no more. So why we seem to think we need so much more really doesn't make sense. My son is doing weekly book reports, but for that and future term papers we use the library. Be careful when you go to the homeschooling conferences. There are a lot of people there selling their books. It is easy to get caught up in it. While most are great, do you really need 10 great books on the same subject?! Ask yourself honestly, am I really going to do all these experiments in this "Experiments From Your Kitchen" book, etc. For me being honest and knowing I am not going to do most of that has kept me from overbuying.

I guess the same rule applys in so many areas. Before you buy another craft project, ask yourself, am I really going to make it? Before you keep the craft projects you have, ask yourself the same thing.

Before you keep that extra garlic press, ask why on earth anyone needs more than one. For me, going through and eliminating duplicates made a huge difference. I couldn't believe how many kitchen gadgets I had!

I think organizing and sorting is always an on-going project. Sometimes I will keep something believing I will use it. A year or so later, reality sets in and I realize it will always just sit there, so I get rid of it. Kind of like my food dehydrator. Sounded like a good idea, but I never used it! It went away in last years garage sale.

Best of luck. Remember, other than sentimental stuff, anything can be re-bought, but re-buying your sanity from a home out of control isn't as easy!

Brenda

cup, do you think that flag would work for a school, or a church, or something? Surely those organizations need to replace their flags now and then.

Would his grade school, high school, town hall, whatever, be able to use it? Then it could get tattered, etc., and you wouldn't have to deal w/ throwing it out. But you could pretend they were honoring him by flying his flag. (maybe they really *would* be honoring him by flying his flag)

I don't know what the situation is with the travel trailer, is it near your house or far away? It sounds like it's functioning mainly as a guest room. Do you actually have guests very often? I guess what I'm thinking is, a guest room is kind of like a dining room. If you only give it one use, and the use doesn't come up very often, the space kind of gets wasted.

Could the trailer be the place to store certain things like craft supplies between guest visits?

Erica

Talley:

The flag is not a flying flag because it's sized to drape over a coffin, so it's extremely long. But what a good point! Can I trim a flag with scissors?

Brenda:

When I got my children into school after homeschooling for many years, I realized that the teachers at school have very little storage for the eight subjects they teach the children (P.E., Music, and art have their own classrooms). There are an overwhelming number of homeschooling families who make their living selling homeschooling stuff and these materials are fabulous. But you don't need them. You're wise to recognize this now. Good luck!

Erica, this is funny: I was going to post and say maybe she was storing TOO MUCH in that travel trailer--that it was becoming a place to stash stuff, and that this might not be good. (she'll have to clean it out when she wants to use it, and it might encourage her to keep stuff she really ought to get rid of)

CUP totally OT from the original, but if I ran a VFW post, I'd offer to fly those flags! (you might ask a VFW post if they've got any ideas for you) I'd mount an extra-high flagpole, and I'd put up a sign (that you could change) to tell whose flag it was, and when they served, etc. (I thought flags were all the same proportion--that it's not really "the" flag if it's different.

And I would DEFINITELY consider shortening it, and flying it at home! That could be really neat! Maybe get an upholsterer to help you shorten it, bcs I'm guessing it's pretty thick and might be hard to sew at home.

Of course, one day it'll wear out, and then you can take it to the VFW hall, and ask them to reverently dispose of it for you!

So the REST of us could remember them!

You can't trim an American flag as it's considered a desecration by the way.

Regarding getting rid of stuff, flylady's 27 flings are based on a Suze Orman exercise -- By gettting rid of things, it forces one to confront how one really wants to spend money.

The more I've flung, the less I want to spend on things that are only going to create clutter or that I don't really need. I know how hard it is to get rid of stuff once it's home -- whatever the specific rationalization or justification. Whenever i think about buying sheets, I realize that I am perfectly happy with the two sets I have -- one to put on the bed and one to wash.

As you weed through the obvioius, things become harder and easier. I've been at this for about three years and I am still getting rid of layers of clutter that I thought I absolutely needed or caused me anxiety about releasing --

I've recently bought a whole bunch of zippered clear plastic storage bags for blankets and comforters and pillows; I found that when I was deciding what to put in them, I had to decide if the item was "worthy" of having a designated plastic cover for it; a whole pile of stuff got donated because I could not justify giving them a proper home for
"in case" storage.
Piles of bedlinens that go unused for years get musty smelling and are not appealing to use anyway.

One bad habit I have is keeping tons of old facecloths, rags, tea towels in a separate basket to use as rags; then I turn around and buy dozens of miracle cloths and use only those.....

I stumbled upon this thread and I believe this is the very first place I ever read about Flylady. Ten years ago, wow! Blazedog's comment about the inability to organize clutter led me to Flylady, which has slowly changed the way I view things and run my home. I still rely on Flylady to balance my crazy tendencies about acquiring and holding onto stuff, time management, and the unspeakable value of family relationships.

I'm sitting in my dining room, looking at the military flag that I mentioned in 2005 which was draped over my grandfather's coffin. I can scarce believe that I've had it for that long, he was buried in the mid-1970s, so its old. That grandfather was so old and I was so young, I don't have any memories of him that would endear this flag to me. I'm the oldest grandchild in my mother's family-so none of my sibs or cousins would either. The flag is stored in a wood/glass display case, but I still haven't figured out what to do with it : ( . I put it on the sideboard for the fourth of July holiday, and I plan to move it after Veterans Day. I know that indecision means that I don't want the flag, but I do feel that I cannot let it go until my mother is gone. Now when she offers me "family heirlooms" and her " beautiful treasures" I gently tell her 'no' that I have no where to put them. Which is the truth. Clearly I have inherited her tendency to place more value on things then they are ever meant to have in the first place. So grateful to realize this now after so many years of buying and storing things that I never needed and certainly don't want now!

I am keeping my canning supplies. I use them every year except this one -- because I am moving. A year off is in the plan. It means nearly two years before I can, again.