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Pregnant or perimenopause?

Posted by ajsmama (My Page) on
Thu, Nov 6, 08 at 13:41

Hi, I just turned 45 last month, have always been regular but this year my period started lasting 2-3 days with flooding the first and/or second day, then almost nothing if it lasted a 3rd. Also starts bright red - thank goodness it hasn't started with flooding, I usually get cramps and run to the bathroom and see red so can get a pad on. Have also had night sweats for over a year, but got better a few weeks ago after I put flannel sheets on (seems strange, but now I may wake up hot and kick the blankets off but at least I'm not sweating).

My last period was 9/29 (give or take a day), so I definitely expected it by Halloween. Nothing. I keep having twinges like my period is coming, but nothing. A little nausea right now, but not much. No breast changes (though much of the past year I've had tenderness and discharge from both sides, that ended a few months ago). We didn't use BC the 2 times we did it in Oct. I would be really surprised if I was pg since I had to have IVF 6 years ago to have dd after 2 miscarriages (genetic defects) back-to-back and then a year not getting pg. The RE didn't see why I couldn't get pg since I have gotten pg fairly soon after 1st mc, but it did take me 9 mos to get pg with that one, and 9 months after the 2nd loss I was just "do IVF, I don't care if you say to keep trying, I just turned 39 and we've been trying for 2 years!". My FSH was fine, but that was 6 years ago. Also, in 2 rounds of IVF, a dozen eggs each time, I only had 2 embryos that were normal each time - don't know what happened to dd's twin, but she was the only one that "took".

So is it likely that this is the start of menopause, or can I really be pg? I'm a little afraid to go buy an HPT - DH is going to be so upset! I have an appt 11/17.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Pregnant or perimenopause?

keep us posted. I was 50 and I had to have a pregnancy test when I had my colonoscopy so that was even a little scary. I hope all works out for you. Deanna


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RE: Pregnant or perimenopause?

I took an HPT at 3:30am when I had to pee. It was ++++! DH was less than thrilled (of course it didn't help that I woke him up to tell him). I am scared to death. I was scared of mcing dd, and that was after doing everything to get healthy and be prepared, and testing on all the embryos - I was sure that the tests would miss something. This one was totally unplanned and unprepared-for. I haven't been taking vitamins, drink 30 oz of coffee daily, have been eating sushi and drinking wine, refinishing furniture all this month. I did some research this AM and found even more risks to *my* health I didn't know about, as well as the risks to baby that I did know about. I was borderline diabetic (gestational) with dd - that could be worse this time around. Plus scary things like eclampsia, placenta previa are more of a risk the older you are. Looks like earlier test for genetic problems (other than the triple screen) is CVS and that can't be done til the very end of 1st trimester. I'm just about 6weeks now, dr's appt 1 week, might be able to see hb on u/s by then, but between 10-11 weeks we're taking the kids to Disney, I really don't want to have a mc there. We bought tickets months ago, the vacation is paid for (other than food). DH's company's stock has gone down 90% in the past year, he's only been there 2 years, they've announced layoffs (though not who), and newspapers are speculating that they're ripe for takeover/buyout. I really am wondering if we should terminate now, not see if baby is healthy or wait to mc, or wait til 2nd trimester and poor CVS/amnio results and then try to get dr to terminate (harder, illegal in my state? my cousin had to go to another state to terminate after her ds showed fatal heart defect late in 2nd tri), or wait til DH is out of a job and has no insurance.


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RE: Pregnant or perimenopause?

I have no idea what I'd do if I were in your shoes, but I wanted to tell you that I'm sending good thoughts your direction.


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RE: Pregnant or perimenopause?

Thanks. I had blood test Monday, hcG was 2400 (a little low? but within normal for 6 weeks), had another yesterday but started spotting that has now turned into clots. I'm sure the 2nd number dropped, we figured given my age and history I'd MC anyway. Guess I'm glad it's sooner rather than later so I don't ruin the kids' vacation. Hope it's over in the next 10 days so I don't ruin their birthday party. I guess I'm relieved, but still I hate going through this - trying to think of it as a period (certainly no heavier than what I've had lately, just may last more than 2 days and be off-and-on from the looks of it). I hope the dr will give me Rx for BCP next week - looks like I still need it at my age! Plus I'd been thinking I needed it to manage my flow - even though DH makes snarky comments about not needing it for actual BC since we never "do anything". Guess I proved him wrong this month ;-) or ;-(

Guys just have no clue what we go through!


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RE: Pregnant or perimenopause?

Well, level went *up* but only to 2800 - nowhere near doubling. Dr wants another blood test Monday and hopefully we'll be able to figure out what's going on. If not, Tuesday they'll send me for u/s (can't do them in their office - have to drive to another office in the city) and we'll see if I have to schedule a D&C. Let's hope this ends quickly and I don't have to go through that again. 3 times (for 2 mc's in 2001) was enough.


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RE: Pregnant or perimenopause?

I hope you're able to figure this out soon. I completely understand where your coming from with the vacation you have planned. Keep us posted. You're right...men don't have a clue what we go through. My guess is your hubby will listen to you the next time.


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RE: Pregnant or perimenopause?

Thanks - we haven't been on vacation for 3 yrs and dd is too young to remember. Christmas is going to be tight this year, so the WDW is the big gift for the kids (plus a birthday party - dd's first with school friends). It's hard having both of their bdays a month b4 Xmas anyway (and one is always Tgiving week). I really want to make this special for them - we even made reservations for a "princess lunch" while we were there (we could cancel that to save $$$, but since I've already told dd about it probably not good idea). DS is getting the short end of the stick this year since most of his friends can't come to the party, and we're not doing anything "special" like the princesses for him in WDW, but he's thrilled just to be going - he remembers 3 years ago and is looking forward to going on some of the new rides like Everest. I'm glad at least I'll be able to go with him - DH isn't much for roller coasters - I went on Space Mtn with ds last time (and he was a bit scared but wants to do it again now). I'm just going to make DH take him on Tower of Terror b/c I won't do that again - went on it b4 we had kids, never again! DD is also looking forward to going on some of the rides, even though she's still too small for many of them.

My uncle has been complaining the past couple years about my aunt going through the change, you'd think DH would catch on that I'm not just being crabby all the time because of the move/trying to finish the house while we're living in it or dd's whining (though those don't help), that sometimes I just don't feel well (esp at night with night sweats, so I don't get much sleep). Hopefully the BCP (once I can get back on them) will not only make my periods lighter but maybe also act like HRT and alleviate some of the other symptoms of perimenopause? I didn't have night sweats until after I'd been off them a few months.


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RE: Pregnant or perimenopause?

WDW is going to be such a fun vacation for your kids and you guys! I'd not cancel the princess lunch. We've been there (tight money) and I remember doing things that at the time, I thought maybe we shouldn't, but your kids are only young once. They will be grown and gone before you know it.

We took our 3 kids (and a friend for my daughter) on a New Year's cruise one year. I about died when the bills for that one started rolling in, but my kids still talk about that vacation. They did the dolphin experience in Mexico, and they still talk about that one. My oldest who never is excited about anything said that was the coolest thing he ever did. I think the princess lunch is going to be something your daughter remembers for the rest of her life. :)

I'm lucky that my hubby is a good one and seems to get it. He does give me a wide berth these days, but he's learned. You don't realize how bad it is until you don't have the problems. I'm 52 and this is the first time in 15 years that I haven't had cramps, hot flashes, mood swings, periods from hell, and the rest that goes with being a woman. I'm almost 2 weeks out from my hysterectomy, and it's pretty sad when you think you're on top of the world after having major surgery, but I am when you compare it to what I've gone through.

My SIL is 50 and she's on a BC pill that stops her periods. It seems like she says she has them once a year (I could be off on this a bit), which would be super. I don't blame you for wanting to get back on the pill. You'll feel better and they should eliminate all the problems you're having.

You've got a lot on your plate, so take care of yourself. Have a wonderful time at WDW!


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