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Maybe Fellow Gardeners will Understand...

Posted by mk87 (My Page) on
Tue, Nov 20, 07 at 13:29

I am 42 and have hated everybody (except the cute little lizards and butterflies in my garden) for about a year. A couple of months ago, I started having what I guess is night sweats...not too bad...but about the same time each night on the nights I have them. I hadn't noticed it, but when I went back and thought about it, I realized my periods have been getting shorter and lighter (although I am on BC) for about a year. All of that would be OK, I guess. But, for the past couple of months, I've also begun crying at the slightest thing...sad things, happy things, commercials, etc. I'm also really jittery and the slightest thing to make me upset makes my heart race and my stomach churn...like what I guess a panic attack is like. Is this menopause or am I completely crazy? I am so worried and freaked out that I am starting not to enjoy working in the yard or getting ready for the holidays.

Oh, my mom started menopause symptoms when she was in her early 40's as well, if that makes any difference.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Maybe Fellow Gardeners will Understand...

It could very well be from perimenopausal changes. Mine started when I was in my late 30's, and I've had about 4 severe episodes of mental instability in the 12 or so years since. Have you had any emotional stressors lately that you are not accustomed to? I found (after about 9 years, that preceding one of these events, I always had an emotionally stressful period in the one or two months before it really hit me. I think it's finally winding down to a stable state, thank God.

Oh, and I am an avid gardener. At times, my gardening helped me to cope. At other times, my garden was the last thing I was interested in. I'm not sure why.
Mrs H


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RE: Maybe Fellow Gardeners will Understand...

I've had some people tell me that 42 was too early to be having perimenopause...then some, like you, share that they had symptoms at my age or earlier. Yes, I have definitely had a lot of stress in the late summer and fall...mostly job-related. My sweet hubby is very encouraging of my gardening habit and, this past weekend, drove us up to see the leaves turning in the northern part of our state. I, of course, burst into tears because it was so beautiful. He felt horrible because he thought it was going to "cheer me up." (He's not yet used to the idea that the crying is probably completely separate from anything cheery or NOT cheery.) :-:


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RE: Maybe Fellow Gardeners will Understand...

Hello mk87,

I've been where you are so no, you're not going crazy...it is the beginning of menopause, or perimenopause. I also like to garden and I first lost interest in it last summer (2006) and that should have been my first clue, but I thought I was just overly busy with kids and work. Last Thanksgiving I was in the beginning of losing my mind. I was so scatter brained, tired, crabby...you name it...getting my family packed and everything organized for the annual Thanksgiving trip out of town was a freakin nightmare last year. I hated it, on Wednesday I was ready to just say the heck with it and stay home. The only thing that kept me going was that I was not going to keep my kids from spending the holiday with our extended family just because I couldn't seem to function normally anymore. I had no idea that what I was experiencing was hormonal. I just knew I hated everything and it was all too much work.

Here we are now, a year later, a lot wiser, and this Thanksgiving is going to be pleasant again. All day today I kept thinking back to what I was doing last year and how emotional and anxious I was. I was totally off my rocker but I couldn't see it myself. I spent today cleaning up the last of my vegetable garden debris and it felt really good to want to be out there working again. Even if it's just for a little while.

It really helped me to be more stable once I realized what was happening to me. The past year has been hard, but in recent weeks I am feeling good, have a good amount of energy back and I'm sleeping decently, not 100% but I'm getting more rest and that certainly helps. I've had to resort to sleeping on the couch some nights just so I can get a good nights rest. I sleep so lightly now that even my husband turning over will wake me up and then I'm up for a couple of hours.

Happy Thanksgiving!


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RE: Maybe Fellow Gardeners will Understand...

MK87, like you I was on the pill but started experiencing night sweats and brain fog in my early to mid 40's. My Internal Medicine doctor told me it wasn't possible. As I neared 50 she kept telling me I would know when menapuase was coming on and when to go off the pill. Well she was missinformed.....being on the pill mask menapause and gives you a fake period every month. I would still be on the pill if my blood pressure hadn't skyrocketed forcing me to go off the pill and throw me into hot flashes and night sweats big time. If you think you are experiencing perimenapause then you probably are.

Cindy57


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RE: Maybe Fellow Gardeners will Understand...

So, mk87, you are officially a member of our elite club. Welcome, lol.
Hormone changes and mid-life has been both a hellish experience, and the best part of my life. That's really a mouthfull, isn't it? Hellish because emotional problems were completely alien to me, wonderful because it forced me to finally take a good look at myself, my values, and to learn my value as a human being, not as a pretty, smart young woman.
You and hgtvme spoke of crying at happy things. I do that from time to time, to the complete dismay of my wonderful husband. He must think that my tears signify sadness, when really, they signify satisfaction, connection, and feeling to things because they touch me deeply, in a way as never before. I feel sometimes like the scared little girl in me has somehow been liberated at last to live with real passion and caring. It's something that has been very difficult to learn for me. Check in with us often and let us know how you are, okay?
Mrs H


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