"I sure hope you like black. There are some of us who would not even consider it." I take no personal offense at that statement, but it's very narrow. Isn't that what makes the world more interesting...diversity? My previous kitchen was beautiful with matte black painted maple lower cabinets. I had no uppers...just art hanging in that space. the cabinets weren't heavy looking, nor did they make the room too dark. It was a beautiful space.....and understated...quite like the proverbial black cocktail dress, a classic. I had tons of natural light...one solid wall of windows and my wood floors were oak with no stain so they weren't dark. I would agree it depends on the kitchen, style of house, countertop, lighting, etc. Decora cabinets used to send potential clients over to see my kitchen anytime someone was considering black. I wish I could post photos, but I only have the real estate tour and you can't snag stills from it. The house sold in 45 days during the worst of the housing crunch. The buyers specifically said they loved the kitchen at the act of sale. So there are also those of us who would and have chosen black. Like everything else...it depends on the big picture.

Have you considered antiqued Nordic Black granite? If you really like the look of soapstone, I think NB is the best substitute looks-wise. Below, I've linked a thread to jen4268's gorgeous kitchen, which displays antiqued Nordic Black with cream shaker cabinets and oak floors. Although Virginia Mist is very pretty in its own right, I can't understand why it has earned the reputation that it "looks just like soapstone" (which I've heard from several granite people). The two installations I've seen in person look nothing like any soapstone I've ever seen. Again, beautiful on its own, but soapstone-like at all. Here is a link that might be useful: Update Pics of cream traditional kitchen

Thank you angieDIY, sandyponder, hlove, and sprtphntc! I think my kitchen DOES need some tarting up :-) or perhaps I am moving into my "I shall wear purple" phase. The light is 100 w so I thought I might be safe with the amber, but it really is a bold statement for me. I thought I should wait on lights until we get our counters, but that darn poly'd MDF is holding up so well it could be another year and I'd hate to throw away 15 years of marriage on dangling light bulbs! I think my hold out is that the house is from the early 1920's, but all the built in work was removed in the 60's when a coved ceiling was installed in the main living space. Then I had to go install a mod kitchen and we are having an identity crisis here people! If anyone could photoshop some white paint on the walls and show me what the amber or vanilla lights would look like, I'd be in your debt. The actual lights are 4" wide and 10" long. Thanks so much and please excuse my rambling...

My Dad is not the one drinking alcohol. And I rarely drink it. I was joking. Although the mixture of the fat and sugar from the butter pecan and the alcohol did give me quite the unhealthy buzz. That was two weeks ago, I haven't eaten ice cream or drank alcohol since. As I mentioned in my original post, I'm really not a big drinker. My Dad is 89 years old and I can't tell or explain to him one single thing. In fact, if I even try he will do the exact opposite just to try and prove me wrong. Surely you know the type . . . As for "brain dumping" some people do find conversations with others or journaling a helpful stress reliever. I have a friend who wrote, sang and did "performance art" to help her heal from the sudden death of her younger brother from an unknown (at the time) rare heart condition. She lost her new husband to brain cancer a couple of months ago and is now finding great support in a widow's group . . . Lots of great suggestions here. Edited to add for Jill that I feel your pain. My Dad often is mad at me for something he is projecting on to me. He's convinced I've done something even when presented with blatant proof that I haven't, or convinced I'm thinking something when it is not even remotely on my mind. Paranoia is part of an anxiety disorder. My favorite is his obsession with time. I'm either too early or too late, but it's always one of them.