yup I do know where babies come from and thats why I have two humongous catfish..thanks to Cherokee Joe. However, that does not mean they will get them all so I am guessing that I will be doing some give aways and buying a seine net or whatever it will take to get them out. I honestly thought I would have too many fish this year but each time I have had catfish in a pond, things have evened out by the end of the year. I made the veggie filter box too shallow. I thought that 3 inches of river jack in a 6 inch box would work but the plants replace rock with their roots bringing the mass all of the way up to the level of the box causing leakage. The more I think about it the more I think I will redo the veggie filter and keep plants out of the waterfall. I can load the waterfall box with bio balls and add a few plants near the rocks but not in any area where damming could happen. I was not there when the waterfall was built so was not able to say that I wanted my liner really high on the sides. I am finding that it is way too low so when water dams up and flows a bit higher, I get instant leakage. thanks for your words btw, your ponds sound cool!

I am just beginning with the hot flashes and decided to try the Swiss natural hrt that you get in the drug store. One pill, twice daily. I managed to remember to take them 3 weeks in a row. I can't imagine trying to take over 40 pills a day! You wouldn't have room for FOOD. They're saying now diets high in fruits and vegetables help with the symptoms. Also a lot of soy, but I know I couldn't stomach soy and the way I remember to take pills, buying a bottle wouldn't help either. So, I figure rather than complain to my doctor (who only works 1 day a week so good luck getting an appointment to see her......) I'm going to tough it out. I have become a light sleeper. And for the first time in my life, I'm kicking off blankets in my sleep. The furnace is doing flip flops because I'm either melting or frozen. My husband just shakes his head, he knows better than to say anything LOL. I figure this is just nature taking its course and I'll muddle through it. Let's have this conversation again in a year and we'll see if I managed? LOL I have been known to change my mind...

Love - You said "He said fine, he would have to leave work early, didn't want to "inconvenience me" yada yada." and "I asked him what made him say that and he just said "well, I can't leave work early today." WOW. So I guess in his MAN MIND that is his way of acknowleding that I wouldn't do it." The way I see it is this was his way of making you feel guilty for being a SAHM, but unwilling to help him out with his kid. Don't give in!!!! Be strong in that HE needs to do what HE needs to do for HIS kid, and it wouldn't have to be this way if the (in the words of Sweeby) bat-sh*t crazy b*tch hadn't come in your home and punched you. Pseudo said "....I guess my point was if he puts BM before you ... if you had a child with him where would he draw the line ...." This is totally what I have been thinking for a few months now, but could never get the courage up to say anything. Where will he draw the line? Your DD has already been subjected to so much from this woman, and he's not even her father! How much would he put a child of his own through? Example: my friend has a DD with her DH who has 2 DDs with a crazy BM. The DH is a SAHD to the little one (DD with my friend) and would take her with him to pick up the other DDs on his weekend. It became a habit that the BM wouldn't be home at p/u time and wouldn't answer her phone. He would wait around for them to return (afraid that if he left he wouldn't get to see his DDs). One time, the little DD was in the car and carseat for 4 hours while he tried to track them down and waited for them. 4 hours! My friend finally said "You can wait around for 4 hours if you want, but you will not have MY daughter sitting in a carseat for 4 hours while you sit in your car outside their home." Basically, he had no problems putting BM ahead of his new DD. Remember...the squeaky wheel gets the grease. You just have to start squeaking louder than her. Jupiter said "I think that they need to see their ex's as good mothers (even when they clearly are not) maybe to somehow reassure themselves for when they are with her." So, so, so, true. My DH knows BM is a back-stabbing liar. But then he says stuff like "well, BM says it's SD's decision and she asks her all the time if she wants to visit". So why would he believe that one statement when he's caught her in so may lies before? The only thing that makes sense is he NEEDS to believe she's a good mother. Jupiter also said "I too run into arguments where he lets her slide on things that he wouldn't with me..I try to give him the example that if it was anyone else in his life he would have told them to go to h#$% because normally in life you don't do favors for people who don't do for you let alone someone who puts him down as a father..." and Love said "But it just totally goes against DH's overall nature, which is so frustrating." This is the issue. Which personality is the REAL one? I have this same problem with DH and I'm starting to think the way he is with HER is his personality when he's vulnerable and that scares the crap out of me because I guess I rarely ever see him vulnerable. I agree with FD. When I am flexible and accommodating with X, it is usually in the best interest of DS, and I do the work. I rarely (if ever) ask DH to do anything for DS, although he would be willing, because I feel like DS is my sole responsibility since I am the parent.

LVP can be awesome. The ONE THING you NEED TO KNOW about LVP is this: it MUST HAVE a subfloor that is FLAT. It must be flat. After that it needs flat. And sometime after that, you need to check that this thing is FLAT. Carpet hides some of the WORST subfloors in the WORLD. Some would rank as "dangerous rollercoaster". I am not kidding. And basement slabs have a long history of being wonky. And slanted. And bumpy. With the occasional crack running the length of the space. Anything but "flat". So the LVP may appear (price tag) to be lower priced, but the SUBFLOOR preparation that MUST BE DONE, can cost $2-$5 per square foot (the $2-$3/sf is more common). Please be aware that you will need to have the contractor to offer and estimate for the REPAIR of the subfloor before LVP can be used. This is an added amount that is NOT NEEDED for carpet. Please make sure you specifically ask for this to be included in the quote. And "no" this is not automatic. Contractors will only quote what the homeowner asks to be quoted. LVP can cause heartache if the subfloor preparation is skipped. Tooooooo many threads have popped up because the installer did NOT prep the floor because the homeowner didn't ask for it in the quote. It then became a massive sore point in their relationship (some ended in court). And many of those floors had to be removed and replaced (once the subfloor was prepared properly). It is a HARSH lesson to learn. Please make sure the subfloor preparation is included in the new quote. And if it is less than $1.50/sf, ask why so low.