Does anyone peri have this weird head feeling?
javabean1
16 years ago
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Does anyone feel especially sad at the holidays?
Comments (30)Is anybody else on this forum the last remaining family member due to a recent loss ????? If so I could really use some advice on getting back on track!!!! It's especially hard for me now, I had a small family to begin with consisting of my mother, older brother and me. We all had health problems but moms and brothers were the worst and I was caregiver but lookin back I feel I could've done better. We lived in a condo together and turned the downstairs into a hospital bedroom for mom until she started having frequent mini-strokes and had to have 24hr. care, then her cancer returned and took her in 2004. While it was tough I had my older brother Mike 58 to console me Mark 54 but we both grieved constantly, after all we were all we had left except for our kids and Mike's were kind of far away and didn't care to visit because of his cirohsis and they didn't like seeing him that way (geee) Mike's cirohsis got much worse and we fought to get him on Johns Hopkins Liver transplant list,but after taking all tests we didn't hear anything back from them after making many attempts. My brothers ability to walk with his walker now was seriously in jeopardy now and I was in a constant state of denial and when I got flashes of his passing I got mentally upset and lost my ability to deal with the my caregiving duties until I gathered myself. I couldn't face the possibility of my brothers death and me being completely alone so I blocked it out totally. That weekend I was helping him back from the bathroom and he stsrted talking and not making any sense and after several attempts he managed to tell me to call rescue, but I remembered the last time this happened he responded to me when raising my voice and kinda snapped back but it didn't work this time, my brother fell into coma and passed 2 weeks later. He was so much to me because we lost our dad when I was 11 and he was 15 and I looked to him as father figure and then we became work partners and later to become growing old together until now. He was always there for me and we both realized we were all that remained from our deceased parents and tried to console each other but he always seemed to keep calm where I had anxiety and he calmed me down. I am totally by myself now and feel like I am loosing it because I feel I should've paid more attention to those feelings I had that Mike was nearing death instead of blocking them out, I should've had him re admitted back to the hospital even though I had just brought him home a week ago. Then He had a few good days to make me think he wasn't getting worse and the back and forthness of this disease drove me to the brink and I would find my ability to deal with his next downturn almost impossible because that sinking feeling of the worst reality that my brothers death returned made me want to knock it away and made me lose my temper knowing I was loosing the battle. Since his passing on October 18 I constantly have feelings of guilt like something I did or didn't could've prevented his coma and I keep replaying it over in my mind constantly, and the constant solitude is neverending, but when I try to go outside I feel like the "Stranger in a Strange Land" and hurry to get back home where no-one is. I agree with the other poster that this is the worst year of my life and after 2 1/2 months since my brothers passing I can't tell if I am making any progress in my grieving because being totally alone it's so hard to tell. I saw my kids for a few hours for a late Christmas visit because they always visit their mom and her most recently divorced husband for the holidays first, and I could tell they were slowly getting bummed out by me and my problems but I guess I have to try and pretend I feel alright. I am sorry for everyones losses and I hope the New Year is a better one and I thank you for listening and welcome any and all responses. Sorry for the long read Mark...See Moreinto peri- menopause. anyone with shortness of breathe
Comments (10)My boss said she experienced that right when she was in the middle of menopause where it felt she couldn't breathe good. She is extremely healthy, and slender. It went away for her after menopause. I have had that heavy feeling before also where it is hard to breathe in my 40's occasionally and my heart was checked out by stress test, echo and EKG, I was told my heart was perfect. I think menopause can cause a lot of symptoms and it is irritating when someone says that something is NOT a symptom of menopause. I have nocturnal panic attacks and they started at 46 years old and only now at 50 starting to decline a bit, but online a lot of reputable medical specialists will say this has nothing to do with menopause, all the while they will say "anxiety" does. So if multiple women are saying, HEY I HAVE THIS AND I AM IN PERIMENOPAUSE, it could be something to it and be due to menopausal symptoms whether Doctors want to believe it or not. Right now, there is not enough research done to rule OUT any symptoms of menopause, and most Doctors are themselves men, or women Doctors who just happened to NOT go through a particularly symptom, but don't discredit it just because you yourself did not experience it, or because you did not learn that as a menopausal symptom. It makes women go crazy when people say, NO that is not menopause. I mean, you don't really know....See MoreDoes anyone else feels this way?
Comments (9)First, I want to point out that not only men experience what you are going through. plenty of women wish they had taken the opportunity to have multiple sex partners. If I hadn't done so, I know I would have wished I had. This leads to the possibility that your wife may be feeling the same way. Second, I'm not sure porn is the issue. It may be, I'm not ruling it out. But just because it's an obvious culprit doesn't mean it is the actual one. If you really want to try and make your marriage work, then you certainly need to test it and turn the porn off for several months and see if that helps. Personally, I think what you are going through is very legitimate and honest. It is clear that you have no desire to hurt your wife, but that you are having strong feelings that I think many people have in your situation. It's clear to me that your feelings are very strong and that you need to do something about this before you just have an affair as a response to undealt-with feelings. Realistically, what are your options? The big question is, do you have kids? Whether or not you do entirely changes your options. If you have kids, you owe it to them to do everything possible to make your marriage work. It just may be that you are someone who will only have two sexual partners in his life. If you have kids you may just need to accept that, greive, and let it go. You and your wife need to get into therapy and work this out. If you don't have kids, innocent bystanders deeply affected by your choices, then you have more choices. You need to be brutally honest about your options. Can you imagine your life without your wife? Completely without? There is a distinctly possible outcome in which she hates you, never talks to you again, and looks at you with venom and hurt any time she happens to see you. How will that feel? Presumably, you married your wife because you liked her. If anyone I liked came to hate me, that would really hurt. It sounds horrible to do something to someone that would hurt them so much. But if you end up feeling like you are stuck in a marriage you don't want, then that is hurtful toward her too. Having a reluctant spouse that is not sexually attracted to you (she knows whether you have told her or not) is no way to live life either. If your desire to have some sexual freedom is strong enough that it will poison your marriage, then it might be best for both of you to get out of it. Be ready to pay the consequences. What's most important in this thing the you are going through, from my perspective, is that you deal with these feelings so that you can make choices with your head and heart (not your penis). You need to be an adult and evaluate your choices and their consequences with compassion and respect for both you and your wife. And you need to do it before something "just happens" because that will make things ever more complicated and painful....See MoreAny experience with African peri peri pepper?
Comments (17)Hi Steve, I was out of town for a few days and even though I am not a breakfast person I made it a point to order eggs and potatoes to taste the different fermented hot sauces that were offered on the tables. Something must have happened to me because I was surprised by how much I loved the taste and flavor of these. And then I found myself ordering breakfast for late lunches so that I could have the hot sauces. Off the top of my head I remember trying red Tabasco, Franks and Crystal. Tabasco was the hottest and thinnest and most vinegary. I liked them all. Inspired by what you said I am practicing a round of making fermented hot sauce from jalapenos. They are still fermenting and taste nothing like what I just tasted out of a bottle but whatever they are now they do taste good to me and very different from fresh jalapenos! It tastes just like kim chee at this point. Than you so much! K....See MoreD C
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