((Hugs)) I've been where you are at with so many pregnancies (only have one child to show for them), but no IVF experience. It is so hard, but I have to say with the only pregnancy that made it almost to term for me it was also the only one that just showed a sac that early in the pregnancy and nothing in it, but my OB at that point said it was early and could go either way. Well a week later we had a heartbeat. Although at that point I couldn't get excited at all still as my previous one had a nice strong heartbeat at that time too and then nothing at 9 weeks. Pregnancy to me was just a huge roller coaster of emotions and constant worries. When is the next US, when are we past the most common point of having losses, 12 weeks to measure the neck fold to check for downs syndrome, when are we at 16 weeks to start progesterone shots and incompetent cervix monitoring, 24 weeks when the baby will be saved if born early, and then weekly onward. Then when the baby was born a whole new set of worries. I was a very high risk pregnancy though. My DH didn't get attached at all to the baby until she was born (he made up for it then) and was very distant during the pregnancy. I think his way of dealing with anything going wrong. You are right though, you will always remember this. I wish the u/s this week will show a little seed or even a heart beat and you can at least get a chance to try to relax and enjoy pregnancy instead of the constant worry I experienced. This post was edited by lyfia on Fri, Apr 25, 14 at 8:39

Is there any support system for your daughter? I've always found self-help groups best. No 'professional' understands angst like someone who has been through it. While we hope all goes well, would it take some pressure off to have a plan for the future, just in case? (More IVF; no more IVF; adoption; 'favorite aunt' role; volunteering with children; etc.) I spent years trying to conceive, long before IVF was an option. It was ruining my life and my marriage until my husband and I decided to say no to any further medical procedures. Once we made the decision to put the impossible (for us) dream behind us, we were able to refocus and move ahead. We mourned the never-to-be baby first, then considered our options. It was a great relief. We were able to adopt within a few years. We are proud and happy parents -- and grandparents now.

so, lead. it is toxic and we all know it is toxic and has long-term effects. there is no arguing about that. the most typical pathway is ingestion. generally, i am relatively unconcerned about adults living in a house with lead paint. adults don't eat off the floor or chew windowsills. they do, perhaps, pick up some object off the floor and then eat without washing their hands first. also, if there is a garden close to your house, where chips would fall in it. but, adults are big and developed and this amount of exposure typically isn't such a big deal. Science has shown us that low-levels of lead exposure in pregnant women that wouldn't be a big deal otherwise can cause some neurological defects. Nothing obvious like a third arm, but something less obvious like a learning problem later in life. Or maybe the IQ is 125 instead of 130. But, as adults, if we are aware of a potential risk we can avoid that risk. A pregnant woman living in a house with lead paint chips or lead paint on contact surfaces (door jambs, etc) should wash her hands frequently, particularly before eating. Vacuum more frequently than usual and frequently vacuum around window sills and doors. If you exercise some caution, I don't see any reason to replace the windows and trim because you have a pregnant person in the house. But by the time that baby becomes mobile, you do want to make sure that the lead issue has been taken care of. How you do this is up to you. You can have the windows replaced by a reputable contractor that follows lead-safe practices (this basically means they use a bunch of plastic sheeting) or you can start with the worst offenders and fix them yourself. If you do this, you want to make sure your work area is isolated and that you aren't making things worse by tracking paint chips and lead dust around. I'm really not going to get into how to do the work yourself, but focus on the doors and windows you use the most.

Custody and access are two seperate things. BD has always had joint custody. It's called joint conservators. He has not always had access. He had supervised access. Joint conservatorship basically means we both have exclusive rights and duties to the child. I have two exclusive rights he does not have. The right to designate residence and the right to make educational decisions. We both have the right to seek medical treatment, provide shelter, food and clothing; the right to inform the other conservator of any info concerning health, welfare and education. We both have the right to religious guidance. He has a duty I do not have and that is to provide child support payments in X amount per month. As far as access it's about 60/40 now. It's called expanded standard possession. He has set weekends and days of the week, we split spring break, christmas and thanksgiving. He has superior rights to designate his access during the summer. My access is all other times not outlined as his possession time. Sole custody is extremely hard to get. Even with all of the mess we have been through, bd has always been a joint conservator he just had limited Access for a while. If I had sole custody I would not have to tell him anything about health, school etc. He would not be able to confer with the school. Even with limited access he still had a right to speak to teachers or to get medical records. With expanded standard possession during the school year, on a month with 30 days, Bd has 12 days, I have 18 days. During the summer he averages about 40 total days and I average about 46 give or take a few during a summer break of about 88 days. That almost 50:50 during the summer. Does that make sense?