Anxiety Attacks
shayshay56
16 years ago
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catherinet
16 years agotaft
16 years agoRelated Discussions
Live in smoke allowed building neighbor complaining
Comments (16)LOL. Thanks! When I smoked a cig on my patio, he flipped out and that's when he started pounding with his fists on my door. Fool--the manager lives next door and heard him. AND she has never smelled smoke either. There is some fairness on this earth: she told him he should move if he doesn't like it, and is considering evicting him for his behavior anyway. I am out of my lease and getting my deposit back. I can't believe something finally worked out fair. I've had horrific landlords, three the last 10 years, and it's been something else. I am still moving to Wyoming and I am going to rent a nice little house for less than 1/2 the rent for this stupid apt., and NO NEIGHBORS. I had no idea renting could be so horrible and I am glad there are people working for tenant's rights. The last one I lived in turned out to be illegal and I couldn't believe anyone could do that. I could have been evicted by the city at any time, and here I am, single, 55 and sick half the time with fibromyalgia and chronic fatique. Basically, just trying to make it to work every day. Really hard to deal with the stress, when all I want is a quiet, half-way decent place to live. And I pay top dollar here in San Diego. The apt. owner before didn't spend one penny on maintenance for 7 years, and after living with duct-taped carpet for 2 years, and a $135 rent increase, I moved. This was at $1100 a month. I have been shocked at how awful people can be. I will be VERY wary next time :) Again, I am so pleased to regain a little belief in the goodness of man, due to my present manager's actions. I was really beginning to wonder if everyone had just gone bad. So greedy....it won't be like this in Wyoming. Lived there for 8 years, and the people were wonderful. Still, I will be wary LOL. I only have a drop of trust left....See MoreCan you talk to me about anxiety/panic attacks?
Comments (26)Busy, busy days so I couldn't get here for an update - better late than never, right? What a difference 24 hours can make. For starters, Ross seems to have gotten a much better night's sleep (no racing thoughts) and that alone will start a day with a better perspective. He texted me first thing Friday to say that he's put a lot of things together in his mind and has a better understanding of why he 'crashed' and feels more in control, at least in the context of the program he's in. Two days ago he wanted to bail but last night he felt empowered to stay, glean what he can, and let go of feeling inadequate for the program - most of the students are feeling the same way. We've spoken a few times since but between his 18 hour days and the time difference, we don't have a chance to get into long conversations. He sounds so much better, though and I can breathe a bit again. He's coming home the day after the program ends, will have a week here with us and his cousins/my nieces and their kids. It's an interesting dynamic because there's a 1/2 step generation difference - my nieces are like my little sisters and his older sisters at the same time. I've been speaking with my middle niece who has dealt with anxiety issues and she will be great council for Ross. He has really isolated himself at college by choosing the location he did and much as he loves the place, the mountains, the snowboarding, it seems he is feeling the distance as he comes to the end of his college years. And I really think the state of the world, economy and job market are weighing heavily on him. It's damn scary to think about having to launch yourself at this time - I feel so sorry for all of our kids! But coming home will let him see what a large and varied support system he has - just wish his brother could be here also. We'll be doing some research to find a good medical fit for him at school. He has a horrendous fall schedule between classes, labs and research so I know going in he's going resist carving out time for regular sessions if that's needed. With his background, he's been 'therapied' up one side and down the other but maybe he's ready to approach it from the standpoint of an adult in control of the choices as opposed to a child being directed by mom and dad. I appreciate every perspective given here and don't want anyone to think their words were misplaced. In my mind, any information is good information and it's always in my power to sift through and use what fits. Or not. I think the internet can be a great place for advice but it's only a first step, nothing more - no expectations for instant cures. Chickadee I don't know the program you're referring to but there are no guarantees with this one so doesn't seem to be the same. Again, way too long! Thank you all for your comments and support. When I know more, you'll know more....See MoreThis should be fun!
Comments (7)Oh pseudo -- wowzers -- I have no advice -- I can only offer a shoulder here. As a kid who grew up loving unconditionally the man who I thought hung the moon but who never really cared enough to be a dad or even want me around, I feel for your sd but as an adult and a parent, I feel for what you deal with. You are so strong, I don't know how you do it AND still love your husband. I tend to run from my problems so I don't know if I could ever say that I would be able to seperate the sd issues from loving my husband-- I think I wouldn't be able to stay if I were you. Big hugs!! I can't remember what age I was but I know the defiance started in 6th grade and I was 11 and I wanted to live with my dad more than anything in the world. I also hated my mom and stepdad's very strict rules. My God I wasn't even allowed to talk on the phone past 8pm!! The rudeness of those people!! So mom let me go live with my dad and within a week, I was begging to go home. Mom made me stay for two years. She was there for me though. She got me every weekend. She was at every cheer event, every fundraiser, every volleyball game and paid for it all. My dad (who I lived with) never once attended a sporting event nor did he pay for one. I still thought he hung the moon. When I finally went back to my mom's and it basically took me manipulating them in to letting me go back -- i never went back to my dad's. I can blame his absence on the mistakes I've made in my life, especially with men. I've had three therapists tell me it was his fault but I know in order to move on and learn from those mistakes I have to take responsibility for my own actions and not blame my crappy childhood on my adult life. Anyway -- my point is: even as a kid who thought the crappy parent hung the moon, I still can't understand why I did or why any kid does it but for some reason, the absent/non caring parent is always gold in the child's eyes. To put the blame on the parent that deserves it is like admitting that parent is the failure. Like you said, she treats the ones like crap that have to love her. I can't understand why I treated my mom so bad but I would have never stood up to my dad and said what needed to be said. I still can't face him now, it's almost like I feel guilty for feeling the way I do and I don't want to hurt him. Why? I do not know. I don't believe I love him, I would rather just not talk to him or even deal with the past, I just want him out of my life and I don't want to discuss it. I don't know why your sd treats you the way she is or why she is so bold in her contempt against you. I was always scared to treat my SM's bad(yes multiple) but never scared of my mom. Sm 2 did a lot for me, I never thought it was enough though. I remember when I moved in with them, she fixed up my room so pretty. New bedding, new paint, nice dresser and vanity table with a gorgeous chair. I told her it was ugly. I hated it. Why?? Just anger I guess. It's so sad that your sd is so good at manipulation because if she doesn't wake up at some point and see what she is doing, her future is going to suck. She will be miserable for a long time. I'm lucky I woke up and started seeing my mom as the good parent that loved me, my stepdad as the dad I never would have had except that he chose me and my dad was the one that I was angry at and the one who deserved the blame. And I went through some antidepressants and some therapy and some really rough struggles. My stepdad and I butted heads for some years as he was the strict parent and I thought he was just making my mom be mean to me 'just cuz' ... I can report that about 12 years ago, at 19 we just started bonding, he had been my stepdad for 14 years by then... And we are very close. Almost too close, my mom jokes that we talk more than her and I talk and she feels left out. He is my rock. He is the man I measure all men to. It took a long time, a lot of heartache and very bad behavior but I finally straightened up and 'got it'. I know right now, you probably don't care about that but I just wanted to share. I hope the meds start working. If not, it should be readdressed to the dr. And you are right, I do not believe that anxiety is keeping SD out of school, I think she is playing the little victim and come Monday, her booty better be back in school or dad seriously needs to consider the evaluation. I wonder what would happen if he took her for one without mom's consent. Would mom press this in the courts?? Is he worried about contempt charges? Because at this point, what is mom going to say 'she is so out of control, I can't deal with her, but I don't think she is so out of control that she needs to see someone and be evaluated... But she shouldn't go to school for however long she feels she shouldnt'. That would go over great!!!...See Moreabout to have a complete meltdown/anxiety attack
Comments (14)I'm so sorry you are feeling so stressed. I understand that feeling of nothing to do then all of a sudden it seems that decisions had to be made yesterday. Even with trying to plan so much out ahead of time, some things just can't or don't get taken care of ahead of time. I was kind of in that quandry regarding lighting. It was one of those things I put off hoping that I would see the "Perfect" light. I finally had to start looking seriously and still had trouble picking out what I liked. So many things were "nice". Finally found a style I liked that would work and ordered them. I wanted to use a lighting designer because I knew I needed a little help figuring out how much light was enough. It was my previous experience with general contractor and electrician that made me aware that they aren't necessarily helpful in that respect. Even though it sounds like you have your lighting already, I would still try to talk to a designer about your concerns. Some lighting stores may do that for free, even if you don't purchase from them. Can lights put out a fair amount of light but when centered over walkways the majority is going to end up being behind you when you stand at the counter. I went with under cabinet lighting to help with that. My island is 50" by 72" and I am planning 3 pendants with 100 watt bulbs each. The lighting designer suggested placing them a few inches closer to the seating area side than the other prep side. That will put them in a line just off of center. I'm not sure if it really matters but I thought maybe it would be more aesthetically pleasing if they weren't dead on center. Regarding trim, we have a similar situation in that our existing trim is 22 year old oak, natural which has yellowed over the years. The new cabinets are lyptus stained quite dark, almost a chocolate cherry look. The cabinets will have molding at the ceiling to match. The big dining room window is framed by cabinets and so I think we have to match the window trim to the cabinets there. Do we match the trim at the sink window with the cabinets or leave it match the rest of the house? The baseboard trim is also a concern. We decided to go natural with the new red oak floors to try to match existing oak trim but I would have preferred a stain to make the floor a little darker. That, however, would mean a third wood color and still wouldn't match the rest of the house. Who really thinks about all these little details before you pick your cabinet colors? You just figure it will all work out and then you are stuck thinking, how will I make this all work together. Yikes. Sorry, I ramble. I would avoid painting the trim white. As someone else said, it really wouldn't look right, being the only white thing. I could see maybe painting it to match the green cabinets but think staining would be best. Especially with the style/look you are going for. Definitely find out exactly how much more it is going to cost. I'm not sure if regular oak or quartersawn oak trim will make much difference in cost or look, but I would look into both options so you know if there is much difference. Good luck, soon it will be over and you will be loving it!...See Moreshotzy52
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