Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long
cjegger
16 years ago
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celticgirl
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agomiaoux
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Planting out: I'm 47 but feel like 100
Comments (54)Wouldn't that be a great workout video for winter time (down time for gardeners)? Somehow simulating all the moves we do a hundred times a day throughout the growing season. Fall comes and BAM! down I sit, and that's it til spring (usually 10 or so pounds heavier). I always find that this time of year is the worst - but by the end of the summer, I feel much better, almost no pains at all. I am 50. This year - my 6th winter sowing was almost a non-starter. I just didn't feel motivated - kind of depressed actually - aches and pains. But, somehow I forced myself to do around 30 containers (previous years it was in the 100's) - maybe I'll do a few more while the nights are still frosty up here. But let me tell you, when I saw my first sprout 2 weeks ago, I got that same old thrill - it's still there :)...See MoreI Feel Like I'm Losing My Grandchildren
Comments (9)My kids used to spend lots and lots of time with my mother. She was, and still is, very active, has a pool in her back yard, etc. Like you, she spends way too much money on them. She still has lots of energy, she's the same person she was, but my kids don't spend nearly as much time with her now. As stargazzer says, they want to spend time with their friends. They rarely ever spend the night anymore, even though they used to practically live over there in the summers. I don't know what your budget is, how comfortable you are with technology, etc. One suggestion I have, if it fits your budget, is to get some kind of computer gaming station or something like that that your grandchildren will enjoy at your house (especially something they don't already have at their own house). You might look at something like a Wii(sp?), Dance Dance Revolution, etc. You might have enough energy to sit on the sofa and play those types of games with them - not dance dance revolution but some of the other games. Your 11 year old granddaughter should be able to set it up for you. The nice thing about gaming systems is that they don't make a mess, the kids love them, you don't have to always be running around after them. When my kids were as young as your grandchildren I limited their time on gaming systems, etc. But if you were my mom, I would surely make an exception so that you could still enjoy time with my kids. There are lots of things your son or daughter could do to help with this issue. Your son or daughter could once a month rent a really fun movie for them to watch, do something with them outdoors all day like swimming (so they are tired), and bring the kids and the movie to your house for a movie night. You could order takeout pizza, snuggle up and see a movie while your son/daughter has a night out with their spouse. The other thing you might do that makes things more manageable would be to have them over one at a time, not all at once. Here's my last suggestion, and again, you'd need your son/daughter's help. My mom lives in our subdivision, and I tried to teach my kids that it's their responsibility to help look after their grandmother. It's good for kids to be needed and contribute to the family. So if you were my mom, I would expect the older girls to come help you on a regular basis. The 10 and 11 year old could help you grocery shop, and their treat for helping might be to pick out some special food treat and have it at your house. My kids used to love to help me grocery shop, in fact they still do. They are old enough to "help" you by cooking simple meals for you. Sometimes when kids "help", it's way too much work for the adult. But if your son/daughter comes over at first and teaches them what to do, then your granddaughters will be terrific help. My mom always has something fun for my kids when they come help her - she bakes them brownies or something like that. Talk to your son/daughter and find some special treat you can get for your grandchildren that's unique to your house. If you are like my mom, you probably don't want to "put the kids out" by asking for help. But keep in mind that in the long run you are showing the kids how to be part of a close, loving family in good times and bad, and your grandkids will feel better about themselves in the long run. It's so much better for teenagers and young adults if they have a good relationship with loving grandparents. They need someone else to talk to when their mean old parents don't like their boyfriend, or is mad about their grades, or won't let them pierce their eyebrows or get a motorcycle. So don't feel that you are imposing by getting help from your granddaughters. My mother misses my kids terribly....See Morerelationship advice needed - feel like I'm losing my mom
Comments (2)I'm not sure you can get your mom to care about your relationship. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure I'd keep trying. Sometimes we just have to accept people the way they are, and that's what I'd do in this case (as far as your own relationship with your mom). I'm also not sure you can get her to understand the need for your husband and you to make requests for your child's care. Again, I think I'd give up trying to get her to understand and agree with you. It seems to me that all you can really do is stand your ground on the safety rules. Stay calm, don't get angry, but just have consequences for when she breaks your rules. If she is letting your daughter get in situations where she is truly in danger (playing on the stairs, taking her to a home where things are stacked high and could fall and hurt her, etc.), then sounds like you just need to make sure your mom has supervised visits only with your daughter. In that situation I would just pay for a sitter and not use my mom to babysit unless I was there. The situation with your soon-to-be baby is sad, and I'm so sorry your mom can't see how hurtful her actions will be. That situation will probably take care of itself, though. I'd think your daughter will love her baby sister/brother and when she gets older your daughter will realize how wrong that kind of statement is. If I was dealing with this with my own mom, then I'd let my mom know that kind of statement is harmful to my kids' relationship with one another and that wasn't acceptable to me. Then, every time my mom made a comment like that, we'd calmly get our things together and leave. Your mom doesn't have to understand, she doesn't have to agree, she just has to stop making that kind of comment. So I wouldn't argue, I wouldn't explain, I'd just calmly say, "It's time for us to go now" or whatever works for the situation, and leave. I would try to enforce my rules in a calm, consistent, firm manner. If my mom wanted to see my daughter alone, then I'd tell her she'll have to go through counseling with the therapist and then later with me and a therapist. No therapy, no keeping my daughter alone. Hopefully her love for your daughter will be the impetus your mom needs to get counseling and change her life for the better. This could be what gets the ball rolling on a much better and healthier life for your mom....See MoreI feel like I'm going crazy
Comments (5)I was per-menopause in my 40's. Hot flashes then cold when they were over. The family would laugh as the sweatshirt went on and off! I haven't had my period for a year now.....yay! I'm in my late 50's. But I have mood swings. Some days hubby can't do anything right!...See Morecheerful1_gw
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