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Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Posted by cjegger (My Page) on
Wed, May 16, 07 at 11:58

I don't even know how to start. For the last 4-5 months I have not felt good and not at all like myself. I went to my GP a couple of times with no satisfactory results, then went to an endocrinologist who has diagnosed me as anemic and B12 deficient, and elevated cholesterol. She said my thyroid was normal. She started me on a multivitamin, folic acid and B-Complex. After going to the health food store, I also started on a B-12 lozenge, iron, magnesium, and acidophilus for my digestive problems. Im using black strap molasses, honey and beetroot juice as dietary aids. I am limited as to what I can eat that doesnt make me nauseated.

My lab results show Im in menopause (Ill be 50 in October). I had a partial hysterectomy January 2001. I take 0.3 Premarin 1x daily since October. I had also been put on Welbutrin 150 2x day by my GP for depression, but dont think it really helps. I also have tried Cymbalta but it didnt help that much, either.

I am so tired of feeling bad, and it has been so long that I dont even remember what it is to feel good. I cant be the wife and mother I need and want to be (I know my husband and son are tired of seeing me just sit around and do nothing), nor the employee I should be. I have missed a large amount of work the last 2 months due to being so fatigued This adds to my depression.

My symptoms are:

Severe fatigue/exhaustion in everything - I take naps every chance I get
No stamina
Hot flashes so bad my clothes are just drenched (just started on Black Cohosh to try to help that)
When I get sick I dont feel like I ever bounce back 100%
Depression
Nausea
Loss of appetite, but weight gain and cant lose it
Lack of concentration
Lose train of thought constantly
Forgetfulness
Headaches
Twitching over left eye constantly
Irritability
Anxiety, have to get up and move around
Moody
Loss of sex drive
Lack of motivation
Hands and feet get coldcold never used to bother me
No energy to exercise, and I use to 3-5 times a week
Feel like crying all the time

Then to top it all off, I had some type of attack Monday afternoon, thought I was having a heart attack, went to the dr. and he admitted me for observation. I was sweating profusely, clammy, cold hands, heart palpitations, short of breath, crying.then I started feeling better and thought I was stupid for going in. I had all heart tests done and its not my heart.the cardiologist said he thought it was major depression.

I do have an appointment with a new gynecologist that is supposed to be good at treating all around womens health, but cant get in until June 5th.

I actually feel like I am going crazy. Im worried about the effect all this is having on my marriage, though my husband doesnt say anything.

Does anyone else feel THIS bad? WHat have you taken that really helps?

TIA


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

I was feeling like you a few months ago. I had everything you mentioned but the nausea and heart palps. I tried all kinds of herbal remedies to no avail. The solution for me was hormone replacement therapy. You are getting that with the Premarin--but it seems to me it is not working. What is helping me is estradiol skin patches (one kind of estrogen) and prometrium (progesterone). They are bio-identical hormones that are available at a regular pharmacy. Since you had an hysterectomy you wouldn't need to take the prometrium or any kind of progestin. I'm not a doctor--so can't diagnose what is really going on with you--just telling you how our symptoms are similiar and what alleviated my suffering. You may need something else. I'm still not back to my old self--but I feel like I am on my way and I have hope again. The hotflashes went first--the rest seems to be a bit more gradual--but I feel definite improvement.

I have been reading this forum for about a year--but joined just now to post to you. I know no one can know exactly what you are going through--but I feel I have a rough idea and I can empathize with you. I hope you find some relief soon.

You're not going crazy.

Bullsigh


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hi cjegger,
I don't know what to tell you. This all happened to me about 10 years ago, as I started through perimenopause. I thought it was from my fibromyalgia, but as I came out of perimenopause, I started thinking it was all hormone related. Its important to make sure its nothing else, but I've come to realize that some of us just can't grow older well at all. I sort of feel that I will never be the same again. That every day will be a struggle, and I just have to figure out how to make it as tolerable as I can.
One thing I want to mention to you is that I was on Wellbutrin for fatigue and ADD, and it was a very rough drug for me to be on. It really increased my anxiety. So keep that in mind. It also gave me irregular heartbeats.
Even though you are on hormones, your body might still be reeling from all the fluctuations. I also discovered that my HRT gave me alot of other problems........like diarrhea, maybe severe headaches, GERD, etc.
You might want to try a patch, rather than a pill. I was on Combipatch, and it was supposed to be the smoothest delivery of hormones.
The past 10 years for me have been incredibly difficult. I do have fibromyalgia, but I really think most of the insanity is hormone-related. It will improve for you, but you will have to work at figuring out what will work for you in terms of coping and feeling better.
Is it possible that you have some infectious disease? I think alot of us end up seeing every single specialty there is to see. I saw an infectious disease doc during the middle of all of this, but he found nothing.
If you find no relief through your regular doc or your OB/GYN, I would suggest you see an endocrinologist.
My heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you're going through. (((((((((hugs))))))))))))


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Bless you!!! I think it is menopausal!! I have had some of the same symptoms you have had...some I am still having, but they do get better, mine got better when I went on hormone replacement therapy, but then I chose to get off of all HRT and had to go through all that again. Herbal treatment did help somewhat. You will have alot of decisions to make with your Dr. and yourself. I chose to just go through the menopause and get it over with instead of prolonging it, but that is me, you have to do what is right for you. I did choose to get on a medication for depression and that helped me, tremendously.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hi cjegger,

I can relate: I'm 52, and have a lot of the symptoms you have:
fatigue/exhaustion in everything - I live for my naps
No stamina
Hot flashes that get more intense each month
When I get sick I dont feel like I ever bounce back 100%
Depression
I did not lose my appetite, I gained it.
Lack of concentration
Forgetfulness
Headaches
Irritability
Anxiety
Moody
Lack of motivation
Feel like crying all the time (and I do)

You are not going crazy, and you are not alone.
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

This is a good forum for people like us.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Thanks, all...at least we know we're not alone in this thing. As I noted above, I recently started patch/pill HRT and things have been improving somewhat. But last week I was emotionally nuts for a day or two, with tender titties too boot. Today I get a pseudo period again...I guess the thing a few days ago was a pseudo PMS. I too am on Wellbutrin and have been for several years. I don't know if the hormones and WB can shortcircuit or work at cross purposes? Anyway, just rambling here...thanks for listening.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

I thoroughly agree with cheerful, 'iam sick and tired of being sick and tired'exactly how I feel. Will it get easier? I'd hate to think of feeling this way idefinitely. You are so right, this is a great forum for us.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Don't worry... ALL familiar stuff! You'll find loads of women going through the same experiences. Personally, I've found stinging nettle infusions help with energy and nausea. (recommended by Susun Weed, google her, she's very helpful). Many women having the same problems are discussing them over at www.power-surge.com, which I've found really helps my sanity. Also, we may find we have to change the way we eat to get through this. I've been trying to follow Diana Schwarzbein's ideas: we need healthy fats and proteins to produce hormones. (Eggs, butter, cream, whole fat cottage cheese!) Also very much worth looking into!!!


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Doesn't seem to be getting any better. Wish my husband understood, instead of saying I'm using menopause as an excuse. I don't think I'm doing that; I just want to be happy again. It's been going on long enough.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

I will be 50 in October, and the heart palpitations, anxiety, weight gain and all the rest of those symptoms mentioned above began about 8 months ago. What has helped me is taking Oceans3 Healthy Hormones that I found at my neighborhood health food store. I hear you can get them cheaper on amazon.com. This herbal medicine has helped me to relax and sleep better too. I hope it will help others.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

HI I AM 50 YRS OLD AND BEEN GOING THRU MENO-PAUSE OH ABOUT 3 YRS NOW "ITS HORRIBLE" I HAVE BEEN TO EVERY DR YOU CAN THINK OF TRYING TO GET HELP.....FINALLY HAD COMPLETE BREAKDOWN WENT TO A MENTAL WARD NOT ONE NOT TWICE BUT 3 TIMES....THEY TRIED ALL KINDS OF MEDS NOTHING HELPED WELL MAYBE THE ATIVAN FOR ANXIETY AND HORRIBLE PANIC ATTACKS...THANK GOD I HAVE SUCH A GOOD HUSBAND HE HAS BEEN BY MY SIDE THRU ALL OF THIS WE WENT TO LOCAL PHARMACIST AND SHE MADE ME SOME DHE/PROGESTRONE AND MY REG DR GAVE ME ESTRIDOL I BELIEVE IT IS HELPING SOME,BECAUSE I TREID GETTING OFF AND IT ALL CAME BACK I ALSO TAKE PAXIL FOR DEPRESSION I TAKE A TRUCKLOAD OF VITAMINS TOO B12,B6,OMEGA 3,MAGNESIUM,CALCIUM,VIT D,VIT C I HAVE CHANGED MY DIET ALSO NO SUGARS,NO WHITE FLOUR,DRINK ALOT OF WATER,LAY IN SUN FOR LEAST 30 MINS A DAY IF POSSIBLE


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

I don't really know how old this thread is but I am 39 years old and had a hysterectomy 4 months ago due to complications. I woke up today, opened my computer and typed in 'I feel like I am going crazy, what is wrong with me' and this came up. I just don't feel like myself anymore, I have all these things going on with me and I don't know what to do. I have been to my GP, Gyno and a psychiatrist several times and they all just assure me it will pass, it's due to early menopause because of the hysterectomy etc. Well that is all well and good but I am a mother to 4 kids, a wife of 20 yrs to a husband who doesn't know what to do and my life is falling apart. I keep hearing that things will get better and I can hardly wait but what about the here and now? I can't stop crying, I am so angry about I don't know what, I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm sad, I don't eat anymore, can't sleep through the night and am having headaches that are so bad I can't move. How do you hold your family together when you can barely hold yourself together? I suppose because of my age the doctors want to see more time go by before prescribing anything, I don't know. I guess I just needed to vent a little here, when I was reading through the thread I didn't feel all by myself anymore. Time will tell, that is my doctor's advice on hormone replacement? I like him but he doesn't see what it's like to just get through the day for me. Anyway, thank you for letting me vent a little.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

I typed in the google search engine "menopause I feel like I'm going crazy" and came to this blog. I'm so thankful to know that I'm not the only person struggling through this. I just turned 44 and literally all hell has broken loose.

I have been treated for anxiety and depression for about 10 years now, but something changed to make everything worse. Eventually I had my hormones tested and I'm in menopause.

@Dani74 - I know how you feel. I have 2 kids, a husband of 19 years and I almost quit my job 8 weeks ago. I pretty much had a mental breakdown and went on medical leave for 6 weeks. I was crying at work and home, getting migraines more frequently and feeling helpless. My mood swings were out of control.

I'm having to make lifestyle changes, diet and exercise, see a therapist, make changes to my anxiety/depression medication and add Hormone Replacement Therapy. Most days I feel much, much better. My bad days now still aren't as bad as it was those 6 weeks I was on medical leave. This has been the most humbling experience for me.

Hang in there. Do not give up hope. You need to see a different doctor(s), possibly make some changes to your lifestyle. I've been going to my OB/GYN for over 12 years, and I'm dropping her now because I'm not happy with the way she handled my treatment. Don't be afraid to make changes. I wouldn't wait around, be aggressive about finding a treatment that will work for you. Wish you the best and hope you find some relief soon.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

It's nice to be able to get on here and chat with people who know what I am going through. I did end up seeing another doctor and she put me on Cymbalta but it's only been a little over a week now and I am still an emotional roller coaster but I look forward to this medicine working and it hopefully does because it is hard to talk/tell someone how you feel especially if they have not been through it, most people just look at me like I am either crazy or a hypochondriac! Thanks a bunch Kimberly for taking the time to contact me, it really means alot to hear from someone who understands! Anytime you wanna talk please feel free to drop me an email- lord knows I am a basket case sometimes and talking with others who understand helps. I do hope it gets better for me soon, I have no energy,I dont sleep and I barely eat so if something doesn't give I am gonna fall apart!


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hi ladies
Im so happy to have found this site, there is so much going on within myself that I thought I was losing my mind.. I had a hyster 12 yrs ago I was 33 I was never put on any meds beside for pain now at 45 it started with panic attack and went down hill from there, I did not know what was going on with me .. I cant sleep and when I do I wake up covered in sweat and cold not comfortable at all Im not eating but feel bloated, I'm very forgetful, the biggest change is I"m emotional (I hate that !!) there's more but darn if I"m tired of being tired.
Im not sure if this site will help but I'm glad to know it's here. Thanks for letting me vent


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Dani74... I completely get what you are saying! I started having symptoms at 44 I got so bad at ages 48-50.. I felt Iike I was no longer living just barley surviving every day. Now at 54 I am considering HRT because by OBGYN kept telling me I was just around the corner from feeling better and yes I am better some but my quality of life has changed forever.... or that is how I feel and I am sick of feeling sick and tired. 10 years of my life struggling that is way too long... I have no answers just venting! I have tried some natural HRT but was not regulated very well so now Im going to try... Prempro... Im scared but what could be worse than what I have been though? Ive come to the decision that my quality of living needs to improve and Im willing to take the risk. My family too has suffered my marriage etc... I don't even like to talk about it much to anyone so I feel very alone in my experience. I just found this web site and have not tried a forum before.... The anxiety I have had has been beyond what I think any normal human being could possibly understand. Just comes sometimes and stays how ever long it wants. I have also suffered from chronic ovarian cyst and they dr says they are caused from a hormone imbalance ...duh...I have not had a period for almost 2 years but have had a large cyst for the last 3 months and feel awful! thanks for letting me vent !


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

drozey, I joined this forum 3 years ago after feeling like i was going crazy. It really did save me knowing i wasn't imagining what was going on.(My drs kept telling me there was nothing wrong with me). What you have written about your menopause is exactly what happened to me. Started having strange symptoms aged 44, had a really rough time between 47 and 50, and here I am at almost 54 still having some of the really weird ones, though I admit nowhere near as bad. I really thought I was the only person whose symptoms lasted this long. I tried HRT at 50 but it didn't agree with me. It's so nice to be able to come to this forum and vent. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I keep hoping I'm going to go through one whole month without some weird hormone related symptom getting me down. Hope you feel better soon and this forum helps you as much as it's helped me.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hi Ladies...Haven't posted in such a long time. I think the reason being it's just too exhausting and sad to be feeling this awful for so long. Reading everyone's stories makes me feel so bad for all us women. So just to recap the last 12 years. I'm 52 started going through menopausal hell at 40 with hot flashes/night sweats, missed periods, anxiety and panic attacks, irregular heart beats, exhaustion, weakness, unexplained internal swaying in the head, off-balance, head rushes, light-headed, dizzy, feeling so weird at times, if I move to fast and then stop my body can't shut off feel like I'm still moving, nauseous, etc, etc. I'm sure you all get the picture.

I've been to every Doctor there is. Had soooooo many tests, been on anti-depressants, (hated them) seen several psychiatrists, since most of the Doctors I've seen make you feel you are crazy even though I know and knew I wasn't. Went the natural route, acupuncture, herbal remedies, digestive enzyme specialists, spiritual healers, psychics, you name it I tried it. I was spinning round and round mostly out of control. Wanted to commit myself into an institution. My husband was there for me every minute helping me and re-assuring me I wasn't crazy. He believed it was menopause which gripped me like a vice.

I tried estrogen patch and prometrium by mouth for several years. Did not help. My body wasn't absorbing estrogen. My levels were so low FSH was so high through the roof.

I decided to try BHRT where I get pellets inserted in the hip/buttocks area estrogen/testosterone and take prometrium by mouth every 3-4 months. Tried 3 Doctors who did pellets until I finally found the sweetest Doctor on the planet. Two hours away from my home. I've been working with Dr Semple now for over 3 years she has helped me get to a 60% of a functioning woman again.

There are days when I say well it's ok, better than I was but there are days when I'm just plain pissed. I'm sick of being sick, feeling stranger than strange, spending $1,000's of dollars. I just want it to stop and be the person I was 12 years ago. (whoever that was). It is so physically and mentally draining pretending to feel normal when anxiety and panic is suffocating you. The swaying in my head wakes me up at night, my adrenal system just won't shut down and yes had every adrenal test done and said they were fine. I just don't get it. I pray to God he takes it away "let go let God" 12 years is enough. I often wonder if I'm suffering like this for a reason. Maybe it is to help other women, my daughter, or friends. I know nobody ever told me what to expect and how to handle it. I meditate, learned how to breathe (the right way), definitely try to be kind and gentle to myself when I'm not feeling well. I try and tap into my faith, and know I'm not alone.

To all the women reading my post and going through there own kind of illness, please know YOU ARE NOT CRAZY, you are loved, find peace within yourself, sit quietly, watch a funny show, look yourself in the mirror and smile. Let your body know you are in this together. Heart, mind, and soul.
Acceptance also gets me through some rough days. When you accept and not question its does help (even a little) I try each day to be grateful for little things and give thanks.

The biggest lesson I learned over the last 12 years is to feel it and then let it go.

I wish all the ladies on this site a day without symptoms and a listening ear to whomever needs a friend.

xoxo Terri


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

My mom is 52 and experiencing the same symptoms and feelings with you ladies. These symptoms are normal to menopausal or already menopause women because estrogen has something to do with it. Try to have healthy lifestyle. Have daily exercise, drink lots of water, eat fruits and vegetables (they are antioxidants), have a good night sleep, think positive and happy thoughts, pray, relax. Take Vitamin B Complex and Vitamins C to help boost immune system. My mom is coping now.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hi,
lostnj; hope you feel ok at the moment. I've read several of your posts and we have had exactly the same menopause- BAD!. I would like to ask if you ever get weird head pain. Not a headache as such, but just a feeling like a knife has just been pushed through your skull, right into the centre of my brain. It doesn't happen every day, just comes out of the blue? I read somewhere recently it has something to do with the hypothalmus which is affected by the pituatry gland. This organ is located right in the centre of the brain. All this is hugely affected during menopause. Why do Drs never tell us this? Why do we have to work out everything for ourselves. I, like you am also sick of being sick. I've stopped talking about it to my husband and I think he thinks I'm over it all. I have very recently decided I'm going to learn meditation and other breathing techniques. I take all the recommended supplements and eat properly. I'm managing to keep my weight under control by cutting out alcohol and at the moment I'm trying to cut out sugar from my diet. I've read an awful lot recently of how toxic refined sugar is for our bodies.
I hope this will help me. I wish you the very best with your menopause journey and my own thinking is this really can't go on for much longer. I will look out for your posts. Take care.Susan


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hi Susan...I don't get the sharp pain you were speaking about mine is more like electrical current and head rushes like the blood gets caught up and then releases into my head. Very strange. Sometimes it feels like fluttering. I know it sounds like I'm half crazy but it's real and scary but since it's been going on for 12 years now I made the determination it's not going to kill me so try and just feel it and let it go. Mine happens almost everyday sometimes all day. It really is exhausting. I know you have been suffering so long we have communicated several years back. It's a shame that we both still are suffering. I try not to talk about too often anymore to friends and family. I'm sure they are sick of hearing about it and I'm sure as heck sick of trying to describe it. I too wish you a healthy non symptom day. Meditation does help and so does slow deep belly breathing. Please stay in touch and thank you for your post.

Terri xoxo


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Thank god I'm not the only one feeling crazy. I just started this emotional rise on the roller coaster called menopause. 2nd month with out a period. Depression is so bad, bad hurts, always tired...should I go on? This sucks. Nice to know I'm not crazy.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hi Debby, well, I'm finally emerging from this difficult time of life. No one warned me about how (bad) it would be - I mean, I knew of the usual symptoms such as hot flashes. But all the rest, especially the sore muscles, anxiety, depression, heart palpitations, weird head feeling, etc etc -- I had no idea these symptoms and more awaited me. It all began for me when I was about 47 and my period suddenly showed up after only two weeks. I was completely taken aback and wondered what was going on. Next I had a period that lasted almost three weeks and I thought it was never going to end. Turned out I had fibroids. From there, things steadily got worse. I could not believe I had suddenly developed what felt like arthritis. Why my doctor didn't take the time to explain how hormones can cause this, I'll never know. Instead I was tested for every disease in the book, all negative. From about age 49 - 52 was the worst. I felt like I had aged suddenly and terribly, and wondered if this was how it was going to be from now on. My doctor warned against hormone supplements, but there were many occasions I felt desperate to get better, and had my hand on the phone to find a doctor who would give them to me. I'm now 54, many of the symptoms have improved quite a bit, though I still have occasional sore muscles, heart palpitations etc but nothing like I did. The depression has gotten better, ditto the anxiety. So hang in there, be gentle with yourself, get outside in the sun when you can, rest when you need to. Speaking of sun, get your vitamin D levels checked and if they're low, start taking a supplement. Add a multivitamin for good measure -- I don't care what the medical community says, I've talked to several other women in our phase of life who also began taking them and felt better. If it's a placebo effect, it doesn't matter. Things will get better. Repeat that to yourself anytime things start to get to you. It's a process, a rather long one at that, but you'll be okay and believe or not, one day you'll start feeling like "you" again. Sending you good thoughts and prayers for peace and happiness.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

I started with night sweats around age 36. They could be pretty bad at times. Never hot flashes during the day though. A year ago or so I started being "clotty" but not necessarily heavier flow. Then in the past year I went from my normal 28 days to 26 days. A few months back I had a period at day 16. Then the next one normal. Then day 45, then normal. Now I am at day 54. I have cramping and low back pain constantly. I do have the heart skips daily but not often. I am a very organized person, but my concentration has gone completely out of the window. That's probably the worst thing for me. I feel nauseous sometimes too. Many of the other symptoms, but maybe not as bad as some of you. My mother had a hysterectomy at age 28 so I don't really have a gauge for timing on this. I'll be 49 in April. I feel like this is getting to the end for some reason though. I have to say, I can't wait to be in Menopause vs the perimenopause phase. Hang in there everyone! If men only knew what we have to go through.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

I started peri at 49, Always had pmdd comorbid severe depression gad mania et all. So I was already crazy. Then I left my job to caregive my elderly parents. Ppl deem me to be super intelligent and resourceful and I helped keep my parents alive for nearly ten years. Trouble is my mother passed only months ago in the next room of severe chf and nothing could be done for her. I take Lexapro and benzos but still cry constantly don't know how much of it is grief or hormone imbalance. I just turned 56 and don't know why I am having worse meno symptoms like seemingly constant severe hot flashes preceded by a feeling of "doom" out of nowhere! That's the worst! I am functioning at a very low level am I indeed crazy or is there anyone out there that has this type of symptom btw I began meno at 51 and it is starting to feel like these symptoms will last forever! If anyone posted this same info before and I am redundant all apologies-any input appreciated! Thanks!


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hello Artist 1234, I imagine your episodes of grief are tied into both your hormonal fluctuations as well as the emotional toll of caring for your parents and then losing your Mom. The physical and emotional changes perimenopause brings about are dramatic. Add to this the enormous responsibilities of taking care of elderly parents, careers, etc. and it's a certain recipe for increased depression, anxiety and panic attacks. The hot flashes you're experiencing along with the feelings of doom sound hormonal related. I am also wondering if you might benefit from certain supplements, such as Vitamin D and B12. If you're having trouble sleeping at night, this could also be a factor in the symptoms you've described. Getting outside and walking can often help mitigate the panic from the hot flashes. Practicing deep breathing and meditation might also help. I think you might find your symptoms slowly but surely starting to get better during the next year. I dealt with mine for about five years, and I, too, remember feeling like they would never get better. I just wanted to give you some reassurance that things will improve. Take good care of yourself, you've been through a lot. The scary feelings of doom will subside and you'll start feeling more like yourself again. You're not alone, I'm sure many of the posters here relate to what you're going through.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Thanks Paula! I will hang on to what you said about the symptoms subsiding soon! Thank you for your wonderful post, you are very kind and knowledgeable! I will definitely try the B12 and Vitamin D, esp. as we are all we are just now coming out of the harshest winter for a while even here in the south. Thanks again and God bless!


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

p.s. Spring is coming:)

This post was edited by artist1234 on Sun, Mar 9, 14 at 17:19


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Wow. I've been reading your posts for a couple of years now and I thank God I am NOT alone in this ordeal. I began having my terrible symptoms in fall of 2011. By spring of 2012, I had tried EVERY supplement, seen every kind of specialist, spent 2 days in ER (drove myself), and have tried to get on AD's but can't take the side effects. I also tried HRT and didn't feel better. During that time, I discovered that iron made me feel great. Long story short, I supplemented (foolishly) for two years without ckg my iron levels. I felt wonderful, though, but my doc pulled me off the iron because of possible iron overload. My meno symptoms came back with a vengeance! I recently resigned from my job I'd (held for many years) because of sleep deprivation, weakness, brain felt like it's shutting down. And worse than insomnia is the horrible, horrible anxiety. Not just attacks but day-long anxiety that begins in the morning and only begins to taper in the evening. I've dragged myself through another round of doctors and blood tests only to have them tell me I'm fine and pushing ADs. Good grief, do they tell all menopausal women this??? One reasonably kind obgyn assistant recommended a Combi-patch (I hadn't tried). I notice that my clogged brain has sharpened a bit--now I remember where I parked my car. I feel badly for my family who are watching their previously energetic wife/mom pad through our house, going through the motions. I had to stop thinking of the loss of my job, too, because that was overwhelming me. I apologize for this saga, but I feel better letting it out. I take long walks and do what I can to feel normal, share symptoms with my sisters and mom (they NEVER experienced what I'm going through...sigh) I see cheery older women out and about and wonder if any of them went throught this. I'm stumbling around the grocery store with my uncombed hair (so needs recoloring) and it's all I can do to make it to the checkout.

I recently tried acupuncture. Laid there like a porcupine under a (suntan?) lamp for 30 min. They were moving furniture next door, so there I was with pins in my body and head, shaking from anxiety and heart pounding like a hammer, listening to walls shake. Didn't work for me. Two years ago, I even went to a hypnotist. He worked out of an old house (1920?), and while I was being "hypnotized," I was sneezing and gasping from the moldy smell of the place. Another waste of time and money.

I guess I'm not looking for a miracle. I'm just glad to have y'all's shoulder to lean on. God's blessings to us all!


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hello, HellofromCypressTX, it does feel good to know you're in good company, doesn't it? It was a God send to me to discover this forum. My struggle with perimenopause went on for about 5 years - wow. Started around age 47 and continued until about 52, with the symptoms getting gradually worse the first three years and then ever so slowly diminishing. During those years, every part of my body hurt -- and it was due to my hormones fluctuating. It's no surprise that so many women in this age group are diagnosed with "chronic fatigue syndrome" or other such illnesses. The fact is, our bodies are significantly affected by the diminishing hormones and it takes time for us to adjust. It's a shame so many tests are done when it almost always gets down to the hormones. And why the vast majority of doctors have no clue about the multitude of symptoms that occur is beyond me. Surely some of the middle aged female doctors have experienced at least some of the difficult changes. Well I'm glad you wrote about your story. I can totally relate to the anxiety -- I've had a couple panic attacks in my day, but I had the worst one ever during this time. Unreal. I had to get a script for Xanax which I took sparingly. I was grateful to have it though when I could feel the panic start. I, too, took long walks which sometimes made the difference between a full blown panic attack and a milder one. I remember having difficulty getting out of bed and walking some mornings - the bottoms of my feet actually hurt!! I stiffly walked like an ancient being to the bathroom, hoping my husband wouldn't see. Well, you may have a few more years go with this particular journey, but the good news is: it does get better!!!! Yes, one of these days you will be the cheery lady walking through the shoe store or shopping in the mall. Until that day comes, take good care of yourself and keep the faith. Get extra rest when you can, keep up with your walks, and watch some funny movies to get your mind off of things. When the time is right, you will find another job and it might be something totally different. It's never too late to follow your dreams. How are your Vitamin D levels -- very important! Do you take diuretics for BP? Try taking some CoQ10, and fish oil. As a minimum take a multi-vitamin and drink lots of water. Take deep breaths in the quiet of your room when the anxiety comes calling. This too shall pass! You sound like a great person and the "old you" will return. I love the picture of the sunflowers!! Blessings


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Oh, bless you, Paulas2cents, for replying. I do feel better sharing this nightmare. I will take all your suggestions to heart. My Vit D is a little low, no diuretic but I have mitral valve prolapse and do take light amount of Atenolol. Doesn't erase the anxiety but does calm the heart. I take a light amount because it also knocks down my already-low BP. I've not tried CoQ10 but it can't hurt. I will give fish oil another go. I do drink lots of water, thank goodness.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

I didn't realize the pic of the sunflowers (found it on my computer somewhere) would be so BIG on the screen, lol.
Glad you liked them!

And thanks again for the encouragement :)


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hi Cypress TX...Boy you and I sound so similar. I know exactly how you feel. It's awful, scary, lonely, confusing, etc. I also want to ask all the ladies walking around if they feel like I do. It's officially going to be 13 years for me in June. I like you have anxiety all day every day. It's got to the point now that when I don't have anxiety it's strange and wonderful. I take xanax every day only .25 twice a day just to take the edge off. I also have mitro valve prolapse and take a small amount of inderal. I can only say I never thought this was the way my health would be. I really try to do the best I can to get through the days. I see the world very differently over these difficult years I've learned to appreciate the littlest things. I try to help as many people as I can, I don't question much anymore. I'm grateful for the blue sky and peace when my body finds some. I really wish I could make you feel better. Please know you are not alone. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Smile through the tears and know one day it will end. I believe I will be a better person for having suffered so much or should I say I am a better person because all this suffering has brought me to a new understanding of life. To simplify the complicated and just live in the moment. I know God will not let this go on forever just until I figure out the reason. Sending gentle hugs your way and a peaceful heart. Warm Regards, Terri


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Thanks for sending me those good wishes, Terri (lostnj). This is sooo difficult. And, like you, I am astounded by those few moments when I actually feel well. I feel I appreciate life more now that I struggle so much. I, too, have a prescrip for Xanax (I can't seem to get on AD meds--side effects were too much for me). The MVP, I believe, has greatly contributed to my situation. I've read that MVP ladies have a MUCH tougher time during meno. Mine was only discovered at the onset of menopause--heart began racing like a train, even caused burst blood vessels in my eyes one day. Scary. I began Metoprolol, then switched to Atenolol. I am grateful for responses like yours that let me know I can lean on others and never stop trying to enjoy life. I also trust in our Lord and, like you, believe there must be a purpose for this. Thanks for the hugs and complete understanding!!!!!!!


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

CypressTX...Reach out anytime you need a sympathetic ear. If I can help make your day better I would be more than happy too. It's important to stick together and know we are not crazy. I hope today is a bearable one for you.

xoxo Terri


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Terri, today was a rough one. Thanks for being on this forum!

Did you say you were on pellets (earlier post)? I am trying Combipatch and want to switch to Vivelle with Prometrium. Doc slow to call me back. Combi poops out so quickly. I felt so anxious for better part of day. Used Elestrin as additional estrogen (old sample from doc) and felt better. I tried to use Elestrin by itself but too weak. My E must be really low from no hrt for 2 yrs. Does E build up slowly in the body the more you use it or must one give constant doses to keep it up?? My body feels so E deprived!


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hi Cypress...Yes I started with bio-identical hormone pellets 3 years ago (estrogen and testosterone) and take 100 mg of progesterone by mouth every night. Prior to pellets I was on the vivelle-dot patch and 100 prometrium for 2 years. I also didn't absorb the estrogen pellet and my evels were always in the tank. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown It was a very dark and upsetting time in my life. Once I changed to the pellets it helped me improve about 50 percent which I was happy about. However, it is still a struggle because it is extremely difficult to balance hormones. Sometimes your body uses up estrogen faster esp with sickness, stress, etc. I think the rise and fall of my hormones play havoc on my adrenals and sympathetic nervous system. Each day is a struggle. Do you have all your parts? I'm sorry about the anxiety you are having. Do you ever get your labs taken? When I get pellets I have to get low dosing because I'm extremely sensitive to high amounts of hormones and most meds. You should research pellet therapy. They have saved my life however like I said before its not an exact science and I haven't found that magical balance yet. Honestly, its been a very bumpy road for me. Many many doctors I finally pulled back for lack of not knowing what else to do for myself. If you ever want to chat let me know I will gv you my phone number. I hope today is a better day for you. Drink lots of water and do lots of deep belly breathing when your anxiety is really bad. Not that it will make it go away but it will help my friend.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

So relieved to have found this thread on perimenopause. Makes me feel far less alone as I struggle through much of what has been discussed above. I had no idea that loss of appetite, nausea, and depression would be such a big part of my daily struggle. I know it varies, but on the average, how long does perimenopause take? Just when I think I've experienced the majority of symptoms, something new and nastier pops up.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hello, lostnj! Thanks for posting. So I switched to the .1 Vivelle and Prometrium (I haven't had hyster) and it brought back "aunt flo" which I hadn't had in 2 plus yrs. Also my breasts hurt like crazy! I stopped after 2 or 3 days on that dose. I'm going to give hrt a break for a couple of wks. But my anxiety is rough! I went to my hubby's doc (he takes Paxil CR) and was prescribed the same thing, lowest dose. I am giving AD's one more try because I can't stand facing every day with that horrible anxious feeling inside my stomach. Use Xanax when I need but want a more steady solution. Who knows if this will work. I've tried others and couldn't take the side effects. Uggh. This is so hard. I am currently taking some Xanax with the Paxil because it tends to make me jittery. Please find comfort in that it's been a VERY bumpy road for me, too. I'm taking lots of walks and trying to be kind to myself. I'd love to exchange numbers. Is there a way to do it offline?

jellybean, I was glad to have found this site, too! I was in peri from 47 to 51, entered menopause, now 53 and now my biggest obstacle is hormonal anxiety. Finding a kind doctor(s) helps a lot. And, honestly, I've learned more from these forums than from any doc!


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Just an update. Could not take the Paxil CR. Soooo sedating and made me wired at the same time. Was taking Xanax to calm down. Then why take the Paxil, I said! Back to my doc this Wed. I'm hoping for a scrip for Klonopin or cont the Xanax. I know they're addicting but I feel menopause anxiety/panic running my life. I'm fighting back! Still doing my Vivelle and Prometrium but not sure that's doing much good. If I could afford them, I'd sure try pellet therapy. Hope everyone has a good week. I'm trying to keep my chin up here!


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hi Cypress...My email is tfrain26@gmail.com Shoot me an email and I'll give you my number. Would like to chat with you and try to help. Hang in there!! : )


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Someone please help me. I am so miserable! I am scared I am dying! I have tried so much stuff I don't know what to do! And yes I have been in the mental ward over this crap. My family is exhausted! I am afraid of everything! My anxiety is intense and I am on lexapro and valium. Feel ill all the time! Can't function can't shut my brain off


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Sweetheart...Can you give us a little more information? How old are you? Are you still getting your period? Anxiety is so scary I know how you feel. I know Lexapro made me feel worse, maybe you should consider switching meds. You are not mental but I know you feel you are. Hormones are so powerful and can put you in a tailspin. Try to give a little more information about your health history. Hang in there, drink lots of water and try some deep belly breathing tonight. xoxo Terri


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

I am 46. I had a total hysterectomy in 2005. I woke up with the vivelle dot patch on. In fact, two of them. 1 and a half total. I 38 at the time. I had a complete because of horrible periods and when they went in they found that I had endo severely. At the time I was also taking paxil 40 mg. Xanax occasionally. After had my second child in 1991, something happened to me and we didn't know what it was. But I imagine it was post partum. I ended up in the mental ward because I was having severe panic attacks and started losing touch with reality. I don't know what they put me on but the anti depressant (I don't know) and a total of 1.5 mg of Xanax dosed in three divided doses. I was able to quit taking the Xanax and carry on. But then I ended up on paxil for many years and would only talk Xanax if I was going to fly out something like that. Okay now back to post op. In 2009, I decided because of ignorance that I was going to take myself off of the paxil because didn't feel like it was helping anymore. And I took myself off the patch because didn't think I needed that either. I was totally uneducated about hormones as my doctor who performed the surgery retired. That is when all hell broke lose!! Several stressful events happened in my life back to back and I started Xanax because I didn't know how to cope. My psych had me up to 5 mg a day while I was also starting the bio identical hormones. I got so sick from the Xanax I became anorexic. In 2011, I was so sick. I hadn't slept in two weeks, hadn't was eaten in a week and truly was losing my mind. I had my husband take me to the mental ward because I knew I couldn't live that way any longer. They switched me to valium 20mg and put me on lexapro and seroquel 50xr to sleep at night. Also still trying bio identical hormones by creams while I was in hospital. That was a nightmare in itself. Now here am three years later not doing well again. Hormones are out of wacky, doctor started me on ativan instead of valium and I can tell I am getting sick again. I thought I was having menopausal night sweats but could tell it is different. It is this damn ativan. I have insomnia and extreme anxiety and not eating. I am back on the patch at the(.1mg). And I know I feel lousy because my psych had me up to 4mg of it and that is when hell started happening again. I just realized the pattern yesterday and talked to my husband about the similarities and he agrees! Part menopause and benzo hell. I am so pissed because didn't do this to my self. The freaking doctors have. I would go talk to them about all the stress in my life and they just kept upping benzos and here I am! It is a living hell!!


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

krnkoontz, I am going through my own waking nightmare with menopause and my heart goes out to you and to all of us. I have been taking more Xanax lately just trying to cope. I tried Citalopram 2 yrs ago and could NOT get used to the med. Bad experience. Made my anxiousness worse! I have talking to two diff docs who are suggesting either Cymbalta or Lexapro (cleaner version of Citalopram) or Buspar. I know something has to give here--waking up every morn shaking with anxiety is the pits!

On the Paxil, my hubby takes that in controlled release form and has for many years. He is an anxiety sufferer and it helps him greatly. It made me very sedated when I tried it recently, but he does sooo well on it. He said it's so much better than the regular immediate release version. I remember when he decided to go off of it (he was feeling so much better) and he ened up in the ER and within a wk was back on Paxil-CR and upped his dose. He's been on it 12 yrs. Have you tried getting back on it? Might be worth a shot and maybe keep small amt of Xanx around to help with transition.

I am mad at docs, too. They are quick to dismiss menopausal ladies like me.

lostnj, thanks so much for your contact info. I will definitely write you. You sound like a gal after my own heart. God bless you for your encouragement. Gosh, men are so lucky not to have to deal with this. I look at my teen son and I am thankful he gets to escape this misery! I have yet to go have my hormones tested--I bet that would shed a huge light on what's happening in my body. Blessings to all.

Btw, I have been reading Hystersisters Menopause Forum just to get their take on different types of hormones. Many of them still take a dose of progesterone or Prometrium to help them feel calmer and sleep better. I thought that was interesting since their docs told them they only needed estrogen.


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RE: Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long

Hello Sisters, I am new here, read your posts & damn, it sure is nice to find you!!
I wonder if any of you feel slimy when it's hot or humid? I mean, like a frog...it is so nasty!! I am very pale, thankfully, so I get away with being bathed in powder all summer long. I have read that some people are almost "amphibian", I just wonder if it's related to menopause. p.s. I have been in this hell for 7 years, the last year has been much better :)


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