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i'm losing it!

Posted by gaylee51 (My Page) on
Mon, Feb 12, 07 at 15:12

I think this is it...I'm losing it! The past month has been a nightmare... severe flashes, headaches,palps and anxiety. Still waiting for endocrinologist preliminary tests, which do not even include blood tests or any hormonal tests! I feel like he's barking up the wrong tree and I can't even get through to my PC's office.

I cry from the time I get out of bed till I fall asleep. My husband just sits there and watches me; he doesn't know what else to do. I feel like I just want to be held like a baby, but he doesn't seem to get it. I don't blame him... I don't get it either.

And then when something strikes me funny, I laugh with utter belly roll intensity. What's happening to me!?

I started taking a new BP med about 6 weeks ago, Toprol 25mg
It helped the palps a little, but not my BP. Been trying to reach my PC about this. I'm wondering if Toprol can cause some of these symptoms?

Fortunately, I don't really feel depressed -YET!- But I fear I could be heading that way if I don't get some relief.
I have a call in to a Women's Clinic in my area that advertizes help with menopause. Can't wait for them to call back so they can listen to me blubber to them over the phone.

Thanks for listening to me blubber on this post! It really does help to vent to someone who knows. Gayle


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: i'm losing it!

I'm listening and empathizing. So sorry you're going through all this. You do need to get in touch with your GP or another doctor who can help if you can't ride it out. It's tough. I don't know if it helps any, but I try to think of it like this: with some people, stress seems to affect their stomach or gut, or joints, or cause headaches. With others, stress seems to affect the brain and emotions. I personally think that menopause and hormone fluctuations are very stressful. If it makes you feel better for your husband to hold and baby you, that's okay. Even those of us who have always tried to be "strong" need a little tenderness. When I am particularly down or anxious, I watch funny movies or read funny books. It helps take your mind off what you are worrying about, and laughter is good for you. Hang in there and get yourself taken care of.
Mrs H


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RE: i'm losing it!

Holy MOLY! hang on! That rollercoaster is taking you on a RIDE! You're not going crazy... you AREN'T! I have found that sometimes, once I realize I am on that rollercoaster that taking deep yoga breaths really DOES work. I was becoming a homicidal driver... and I found that if I recognised that I was doing that, I could take deep slow breaths and it helped some. Center yourself... do some grounding exercises... it really does help. Doesn't solve the problem, but helps a lot.


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RE: i'm losing it!

Well, I finally got the endocrinologist's opinion today... After two 24-hour urine collections he's concluded that I do not have pheochromocytoma (Alert the media!) I already knew that. He did not do any blood tests, hormonal levels, nothing. His suggestion to me was that I need to insist that my PCP give me some estrogen. So glad I wasted a month to get this conclusion. Sorry, but along with my tears and anxiety comes a bit of sarcasm at this point.

I'm thinking of starting a menopause support group in my hometown. I've talked with a few women in menopause who are having equally frustrating things happening to them with their Docs.

I think physicians need a set of guidelines to follow for menopause, kind of the same way they do for other health issues. That way at least we wouldn't be sent on wild goose chases and perhaps we'd be spared the extra anxiety we go through wondering what horrible things are wrong with us! I especially think that ER Docs could be instrumental in the process, since that's where many of us end up with our symptoms.

Anyway, even though I am still feeling shaky emotionally and physically, I feel better logically, knowing that I am in menopause and am not alone. I know that this is a natural thing that we have to go through, but I think there is a lot of room for improvement in the way it is handled by the medical profession. We could be spared alot of anguish with the right attitude, guidance and compassion.

BTW, I'm firing my PCP as soon as I find one who's more with it! Thanks for listening :) Gayle


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RE: i'm losing it!

Well, I can recommend a great gyn if you want to drive to Texas for doctor's appointments, lol.
Hang in there and pursue getting the care you need. Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Mrs H


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RE: i'm losing it!

I fired my PCP today. After months and months of travelling 1 1/2 hours one way to her office or the endocrinologist, I've gotten nowhere. Today a very young office assistant called to inform me that my doc wants to do a 4th 24-hour urine collection for pheochromocytoma...because she can't figure out why I'm having hot flashes@!#??@!! And she'd be happy to make an appointment for me to talk to her in 1 month.

I have made an appointment with a menopause clinic closer to my home (still a few weeks to wait for that). In th meantime, I'm trying to hang on through this terrible anxiety, heart palps and headaches. I cry alot because I'm so scared and sometimes just so frustrated. Visiting these forums is a tremendous help to me.

I have ordered a Claire Weeks book, and another one called
"Your Inner Estrogen". They should arrive by end of this week and I hope to find solutions to get me through until I see the new Doc.

My 25-year-old special needs son is coming to stay for 10 days this coming week-end. He is a joy to me, but also a lot of work at times. I need to be functioning better than I am right now. Who knows, maybe having him here will take my mind off some of my symptoms...we will certainly keep busy!

In the meantime, I'm keeping up with my Mg/Calcium and B vitamins. Having breakthrough palps last few days, maybe need to adjust the Mg??? Seems like the tiniest hint of stress will trigger them. I can't watch the news or my favorite TV show "Lost"...gets me too worked up! And I mourn for that 1 cup of morning coffe that I gave up 3 months ago. ( and my Chardonay, and chocolate, and sex, etc)

I have to believe things will start to get better soon!
Thanks to all for listening. Gayle


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RE: i'm losing it!

I have read a couple of Claire Weeks' books. They are good and to the point. She doesn't go into the "why" from the medical end, though, which I think is important to try and get a grasp on. Her books have lots of good common-sense information and what I think is a sensible way to deal with anxiety. Her method is not a quick-fix but given time, does help. Good luck, and let me know what you think of her book.
Mrs H


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RE: i'm losing it!

Going through much the same, and have been for over a year. How long for you ? My worst problem is when I lay down to nap, I get this awful feeling , anxiaty I suppose, I feel like something very bad is happening or going to. I feel flushed, scared, terrible, but I know it will pass, sometimes I just won`t lay down, because I know it will happen ! Crazy huh, hot flashes... when the%^^%$#^&*& do they stop, my husband is freezing while I am roasting, touch the heater and he dies !! ha ha But please don`t think you are alone, by the way, a gyn-ob took tests and even told me my hormone levels were okay when I started this ... bullcrap, do they go to one of those nine month trade schools now to be doctors like people do to be everything else ??


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RE: i'm losing it!

I've the worst symptoms during the last 6 months. I get the funny rushes when I lay down, too. It's so crazy, because I need sleep, but I'm afraid to lay down to go to sleep.

I took my son to Disney World a few years back and I went on a ride called "Tower of Terror" (Hated it, BTW!) You are in this elevator type thing and it drops straight down and you feel like your insides are rushing up into your throat.
Well, now that's the sensation I get sometimes when I'm just drifting off to sleep. I wake up feeling all panicky, I just hate it!

I've heard this complaint of "night panics" alot on this board and also another menopause board, so it must be a common menopause experience. I wonder if it is related to a lack of estrogen, and our vascular system is going haywire?

Gayle


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RE: i'm losing it!

Dear Gayle, I starting seeing a therapist (two doctors actually mentioned it to me) about 11 weeks ago. I have been working on the anxiety that comes with not knowing what is happening to my body. You would be surprized at how much better I feel. I hope I havent offended you. But you sound so much like me a few months ago, that it is Deja vu all over again. Again, I am sorry if I have offended you. When one dr. said it I was offended, but when two? said it within 1 week of each other? Take Care, and God BLess. Shotzy


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RE: i'm losing it!

Hi Shotzy52,

I certainly would take no offense at mention of behavioral therapy...I'm a firm believer. In fact, it's on my "get through menopause list" to find someone who can help me with relaxation, guided imagry, etc.

I think I'm in an acute phase right now, and the anxiety is getting the best of me. I will do whatever is needed to get through this...it is the worst thing I've ever been throuh, and there have been some tough life moments for me in the past.

Thanks for your replys and suggestions. This site is so helpful for me.

Gayle


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